Tch
Well, much as I resent it, things unfolded in the C-Group about as I thought they would.
N, of course, will be getting a stern talking-to. By 'stern talking-to,' I mean that our leader, M, is going to try to email him and express his concerns in a civil way over the fact that N contributes nothing to us except snark. He has admitted that communicating with N is tricky, since he doesn't seem to get back to people except at his convenience... which is usually never.
Frankly, I don't think he's going to get it. The guy fracking came up to me while I was at my post in church volunteering today and just talked to me like nothing had happened. Not only did I fail to make a difference on him, but he really seems to not understand why I did that in the first place.
I hope that's what it is. The alternative is that he does understand and he just doesn't care. I'll try to be optimistic.
As for me, I have acted out of turn and in a decidedly un-Christ like manner. We should be giving grace to people like N, and not torquing their fingers. Having admitted my aggression, we have decided upon the truly infallible tactic of making sure that I don't sit next to him again.
;aj;ajf;ajf;ajf;a ;aoija;
Still, sitting here at 3 AM and typing this, there's a lesson in it. Violence didn't solve anything here. Even though K and I spent a long time talking and getting along after I did that, the truth is she's a strong, independent woman who can take care of herself. The odds are she probably didn't even consider that I had come to her defense. And even if she did, what woman likes it when a man comes violently to her defense, anyway?
And as for me? I wasn't a hero. I didn't save the day. I was just a bully. I could take N apart without any problem at all, and I used it to oppress him. Nobody thinks I did the right thing but me, and that's probably nothing more than me just being emotional about it. I don't even get the benefit of saying that I could have done worse - in the end, it's all the same weight as far as we're concerned. Even if all I did was mess with his joints a little, it's as bad as knocking him out.
No ethics professor would agree with that assessment, but we're not moralists. We're idealists, and that gives a lot less flexibility in terms of figuring out right and wrong, and in terms of what actions we can undertake. N may be failing our ideals, but I failed too.
Sigh.
So, nothing else to do then, but to repent, and to start walking forward again. And that starts with getting some sleep.
N, of course, will be getting a stern talking-to. By 'stern talking-to,' I mean that our leader, M, is going to try to email him and express his concerns in a civil way over the fact that N contributes nothing to us except snark. He has admitted that communicating with N is tricky, since he doesn't seem to get back to people except at his convenience... which is usually never.
Frankly, I don't think he's going to get it. The guy fracking came up to me while I was at my post in church volunteering today and just talked to me like nothing had happened. Not only did I fail to make a difference on him, but he really seems to not understand why I did that in the first place.
I hope that's what it is. The alternative is that he does understand and he just doesn't care. I'll try to be optimistic.
As for me, I have acted out of turn and in a decidedly un-Christ like manner. We should be giving grace to people like N, and not torquing their fingers. Having admitted my aggression, we have decided upon the truly infallible tactic of making sure that I don't sit next to him again.
;aj;ajf;ajf;ajf;a ;aoija;
Still, sitting here at 3 AM and typing this, there's a lesson in it. Violence didn't solve anything here. Even though K and I spent a long time talking and getting along after I did that, the truth is she's a strong, independent woman who can take care of herself. The odds are she probably didn't even consider that I had come to her defense. And even if she did, what woman likes it when a man comes violently to her defense, anyway?
And as for me? I wasn't a hero. I didn't save the day. I was just a bully. I could take N apart without any problem at all, and I used it to oppress him. Nobody thinks I did the right thing but me, and that's probably nothing more than me just being emotional about it. I don't even get the benefit of saying that I could have done worse - in the end, it's all the same weight as far as we're concerned. Even if all I did was mess with his joints a little, it's as bad as knocking him out.
No ethics professor would agree with that assessment, but we're not moralists. We're idealists, and that gives a lot less flexibility in terms of figuring out right and wrong, and in terms of what actions we can undertake. N may be failing our ideals, but I failed too.
Sigh.
So, nothing else to do then, but to repent, and to start walking forward again. And that starts with getting some sleep.