(no subject)
This was posted in the TACO BELL CULT community, and it made me laugh my ass off. so I thought i would share it with those who are not a part of this community. Enjoy.
This is an ode to Taco Bell. I just wanted to thank you for many, many years of consistency. You have unwaveringly allowed me to weather the storm of poverty. Your delicious, lovingly prepared, inexpensive food has always been the proverbial life raft as I have been tossed about the maelstrom of destitution. You have been there for me many a night as a beacon of culinary excellence. Upon hitting the bong, it was you I would seek out to satisfy my frenetic case of the munchies. Like a lighthouse guiding a mariner, your neon sign and drive thru window would steer me true as my thoughts were filled with the carnal anticipation of the moment I bite into my bean burrito or Chalupa.
Over the years I’ve had my favorite menu items. For instance, when I was young and inexperienced I would safely order the Burrito Supreme. I was very innocent and virginal in all things Taco Bell. One day my friend Bruce introduced me to the 7 layer Burrito. This was a pivotal moment. It was the day I truly became a Taco Bell fanatic. I became bolder. You remember “Wild Style?” I do. I’d order my meals “wild style” back then. Next you introduced the world to the double decker taco with those charming ads with Shaquille O’neal. I still suffer from taco neck syndrome. Next came the Gordita. Then the Chalupa. Then the Grilled Stuft Burrito. God I could go on and on. You ever see that documentary “Super Size Me?” It’s about a man who eats ONLY McDonalds for an entire month. He records his journey and tracks his failing health and depression. My friend Bruce and I want to duplicate this experiment but with Taco Bell. However, to us it would be an honor and a privilege to eat Taco Bell every day for a month. We are saving our pennies.
Like any relationship there has been bad as well as good. I didn’t really care for the Taco Bell Chihuahua. That campaign irritated me. You got rid of the mexi-nuggets. Those little guys where the icing on the cake. It’d insure I would walk away from my value meal full and completely satisfied. Sometimes I’d save them and carry them around with me in my pocket. I believe the foundation of any good love affair includes tears as well as laughs. The good far outweighs the bad though and what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger, right?
I thank you for both your quality food and friendly staff. I know the employees at my local Taco Bell by name. There’s Jesus working the grill, and Steve at the drive thru window, and LaWanda at the register. Whenever I walk into my Taco Bell I feel special. Again, thank you
Christian Ventrello
This is an ode to Taco Bell. I just wanted to thank you for many, many years of consistency. You have unwaveringly allowed me to weather the storm of poverty. Your delicious, lovingly prepared, inexpensive food has always been the proverbial life raft as I have been tossed about the maelstrom of destitution. You have been there for me many a night as a beacon of culinary excellence. Upon hitting the bong, it was you I would seek out to satisfy my frenetic case of the munchies. Like a lighthouse guiding a mariner, your neon sign and drive thru window would steer me true as my thoughts were filled with the carnal anticipation of the moment I bite into my bean burrito or Chalupa.
Over the years I’ve had my favorite menu items. For instance, when I was young and inexperienced I would safely order the Burrito Supreme. I was very innocent and virginal in all things Taco Bell. One day my friend Bruce introduced me to the 7 layer Burrito. This was a pivotal moment. It was the day I truly became a Taco Bell fanatic. I became bolder. You remember “Wild Style?” I do. I’d order my meals “wild style” back then. Next you introduced the world to the double decker taco with those charming ads with Shaquille O’neal. I still suffer from taco neck syndrome. Next came the Gordita. Then the Chalupa. Then the Grilled Stuft Burrito. God I could go on and on. You ever see that documentary “Super Size Me?” It’s about a man who eats ONLY McDonalds for an entire month. He records his journey and tracks his failing health and depression. My friend Bruce and I want to duplicate this experiment but with Taco Bell. However, to us it would be an honor and a privilege to eat Taco Bell every day for a month. We are saving our pennies.
Like any relationship there has been bad as well as good. I didn’t really care for the Taco Bell Chihuahua. That campaign irritated me. You got rid of the mexi-nuggets. Those little guys where the icing on the cake. It’d insure I would walk away from my value meal full and completely satisfied. Sometimes I’d save them and carry them around with me in my pocket. I believe the foundation of any good love affair includes tears as well as laughs. The good far outweighs the bad though and what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger, right?
I thank you for both your quality food and friendly staff. I know the employees at my local Taco Bell by name. There’s Jesus working the grill, and Steve at the drive thru window, and LaWanda at the register. Whenever I walk into my Taco Bell I feel special. Again, thank you
Christian Ventrello