wow...

[osoconfussed]

they had the senior chorus concert tonight. that was hard to go through. well during our songs i just kept saying this embaressment will be over and i will never be singing with WW again but then once i watched the seniors walk on the stage looking beautiful and watch my friends that i have gotten soooo close to this past year get ready and leave me to go into the adult world as people keep calling it. but by far the hardest part seems like the smallest. not seeing my sister up there. she deserved to be. people think shes just skipping school but shes going through some really tough things right now. she couldnt even come to her own senior chorus concert. even after she left school chorus is what she loved and she still went to that. but when things got worse she couldnt even do that. and i look back at my mom and she had to walk out of the room becuase she was crying so hard because her eldest daughter wasnt up there. but when we were putting our robes away everyone was crying and yet it still hasnt totally hit me that im not going to be there next year. im no longer going to be a warrior...im going to be a spartin. my colors since i was in preschool have been green and blue. now they are brown white and yellow. its just a weird concept.

but things really picked up when i got home. this past year as been pretty tough and through it all i have always been able to count on my friends. in this particular subject heidi sarah and megan have been really helpful on it. iv had alot of times where i could have said screwed it and stopped going to church or youth group but i didnt which really makes me happy. no matter what is going on i know i can turn to my grace girls and that means soooo much to me. tonight is a really big night in my life. i now accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. :)