(no subject)
so much...
one of my best friends tried to kill herself last saturday night...she was beat up cos some guy tried to steal her car, so she was pretty shaken up about that and had been contemplating suicide for a while, so that sort of pushed her over the edge. so she took 80 panadols, threw up quite a bit, then went to bed. she didnt end up getting to hospital until at least 6hrs after she OD'd, and was very lucky there was no liver damage
so i spent sunday, monday day and evening, tuesday day and evening, and wednesday day at the hospital with her, only going home to eat dinner and when visiting hours finished
two suicide attempts in less than 2 months
sunday night liz starts talking to me over msn, saying she's not in a good way either. so i go to hers and we have a chat and a smoke, and about an hour after i get to hers, its decided that she's going to stay at least the week at my house. so i go home and confirm it with the parents, and liz is now staying at my house for 2 months
we moved her in today. i feel bad about putting my parents in the position of letting liz stay for so long, but i feel just as bad having to let liz stay downstairs on a mattress on the floor, in the coldest room in the house. its not even a bedroom...
like my family is so cool with liz staying cos theyre almost as concerned about liz's welfare as i am, but i still worry that theyre secretly wishing i hadnt asked them to let liz stay. im also worrying that liz is secretly hating the fact that she has to stay downstairs in the middle of a huge, ugly, freezing cold room with nothing more than a small clothes stand to put her whole wardrobe on, when she's saying that she's so happy with just a room away from where she was staying before
i am not feeling anything...i want to slip. i want to fall. crash. i just want to feel depressed like any normal person would feel after their fucking best friend has tried to kill themselves and another best friend was pretty much in the same state
I CANT FEEL A FUCKING THING
im seriously considering just cutting up my arm just to feel pain, to get a reaction out of myself. i want to feel sad, worried, depressed, stressed. how can one person not feel a thing after all the shit thats happened in the past week??????
one of my best friends tried to kill herself last saturday night...she was beat up cos some guy tried to steal her car, so she was pretty shaken up about that and had been contemplating suicide for a while, so that sort of pushed her over the edge. so she took 80 panadols, threw up quite a bit, then went to bed. she didnt end up getting to hospital until at least 6hrs after she OD'd, and was very lucky there was no liver damage
so i spent sunday, monday day and evening, tuesday day and evening, and wednesday day at the hospital with her, only going home to eat dinner and when visiting hours finished
two suicide attempts in less than 2 months
sunday night liz starts talking to me over msn, saying she's not in a good way either. so i go to hers and we have a chat and a smoke, and about an hour after i get to hers, its decided that she's going to stay at least the week at my house. so i go home and confirm it with the parents, and liz is now staying at my house for 2 months
we moved her in today. i feel bad about putting my parents in the position of letting liz stay for so long, but i feel just as bad having to let liz stay downstairs on a mattress on the floor, in the coldest room in the house. its not even a bedroom...
like my family is so cool with liz staying cos theyre almost as concerned about liz's welfare as i am, but i still worry that theyre secretly wishing i hadnt asked them to let liz stay. im also worrying that liz is secretly hating the fact that she has to stay downstairs in the middle of a huge, ugly, freezing cold room with nothing more than a small clothes stand to put her whole wardrobe on, when she's saying that she's so happy with just a room away from where she was staying before
i am not feeling anything...i want to slip. i want to fall. crash. i just want to feel depressed like any normal person would feel after their fucking best friend has tried to kill themselves and another best friend was pretty much in the same state
I CANT FEEL A FUCKING THING
im seriously considering just cutting up my arm just to feel pain, to get a reaction out of myself. i want to feel sad, worried, depressed, stressed. how can one person not feel a thing after all the shit thats happened in the past week??????