(no subject)

[osk]

so the overall bleakness of reality is beginning to set in even more. seems the new boy is now also more mature than me by wanting to be my friend....which is entirely unfair as he has lost nothing to be with her whereas i've lost her, which is pretty damn hard lemme tell you. i just can't seem to win or come out the better in any way. it's bad enough i know more about what they're doing than they're willing to admit honestly....god i wish i didn't know what i do, but that seems to be my life nowadays, i know more about what i don't want to know than what i do.

i want to know how to actually have people interested in me, carea bout me...not what two people do behind closed doors...

sometimes life just fucking sucks, and no amount of beer or overworking my body is gonna fill that void i have to endure every day, and just take it....somebody, anybody, help me