Topic for discussion - Mutual acquaintances

[osirusbrisbane]

Posting here instead of Facebook because I'm not about vaguebooking into Facebook drama. But while Facebook recently may have spurred this post, I've had the issue pop up repeatedly over the past 15 years at least

Comments

[g_me]

I really like what idealforcolors said, and don't have too much to add, other than that when I've been in similar situations re: party or social gathering invites, I tend to invite both and let them figure it out, and make sure that the information about the other's potential attendance is available. In some cases I have deliberately let the individual parties know that the other is invited, and perhaps why I did not choose to exclude them. I do think that the level of terribleness matters, because there's a difference between someone doing something stupid, or unwise, for example, and someone doing something truly awful. In that case you have to use your individual judgement and your relationship to each individual to figure out the best course of action. My default, if both relationships are somewhat equal, is to just be up front with the person/people about it and let them figure out their own stuff. I also tend to ramp down on relationships that have a lot of drama in them, so I can't say that I've often found myself in exactly this situation...but it's definitely happened.

[osirusbrisbane]

Yeah, as I've gotten older I've become increasingly enamored of a nice boring life without drama, which I mostly achieved successfully, but does mean I'm out of practice with drama when any pops up.