I found the perfect quote for me yesterday...
I found the perfect quote for me yesterday...
"My life has a superb cast, I just can't figure out the plot."
I've had a hard week with the family I am nannying for and it's only Wednesday.
It prompted me to go to the liquor store (package store for you in the south :P)
I needed to relax and refocus.
I wish I would of had today's Daily Om for Monday.
I did not need to do it home alone with a couple of bottles (5ths, to be exact). There were much healthier ways to cope.
It's hard being in a home where everyone's drowning and up to there eye balls in alligators.
They (we) are all grieving and it's hard to watch sometimes when the father gets too verbal or physical with the boys. (I will never let it get physical)
It's taken me along time to try and deal with my losses and often I see the behaviors that I am sure I could of mirrored at there ages too.
The father is my friend and that is why I stay sometimes other than the love I have for these little boys. It's not a good paying job. The only benefits are knowing that I am making a difference in there lives and the love that is exchanged between us.
Children grieve just as much if not more.
They lost there mother last year to cancer and the youngest was not even 3. They are now 4 and 8. I seem to zoom in on some of there issues and it's hard when the father wants me to be the disciplinarian and for him to be the good guy.
I do not think he's a good guy when he's acting like an ass hole to the kids or me.
I do not think it's fair to scream across the breakfast table at you 8 year old that "god damm son of a bitch I don't deserve this bull shit" when the child is not eatting his breakfast in a timely mannor. Only to then pick up the child in a very angry agressive way and plop him on his bed.
I'd rather he scream at me or a therapist. (even though I stood over the kitchen sink with tears streaming down my face Monday)
Not the children.
But wait... He does not think that his children have gief issues. As much as we have talked about it.
He only sees and feels his own pain.
Yes, it's hard to loose the one you love. I know that as well as he does.
I've seen abuse. I've lived with it. I do not welcome it or wish it upon anyone. Especilly two little boys who have already lost so much.
There father also seems to refuse to acknowledge that there is anything diffrent that these children have to deal with. I see things very diffrently.
I see two little boys who have been bounced back and forth. I have seen two little boys that have been kept very busy so they do not see things are diffrent, but they do.
I see two little boys who just want to be loved. I see how they look at there friends when there parents come to get them. I see how they look at there mother's bath robe that still hangs on the back of the bathroom door a year later. I see them hug it and kiss the robe every morning. I hear them cry. I hear them ask for there mother.
I've told them when they have been angry that they do not have to like me, but they do need to do what I ask them too and they need to respect me with the same respect I give them.
"My life has a superb cast, I just can't figure out the plot."
I've had a hard week with the family I am nannying for and it's only Wednesday.
It prompted me to go to the liquor store (package store for you in the south :P)
I needed to relax and refocus.
I wish I would of had today's Daily Om for Monday.
I did not need to do it home alone with a couple of bottles (5ths, to be exact). There were much healthier ways to cope.
It's hard being in a home where everyone's drowning and up to there eye balls in alligators.
They (we) are all grieving and it's hard to watch sometimes when the father gets too verbal or physical with the boys. (I will never let it get physical)
It's taken me along time to try and deal with my losses and often I see the behaviors that I am sure I could of mirrored at there ages too.
The father is my friend and that is why I stay sometimes other than the love I have for these little boys. It's not a good paying job. The only benefits are knowing that I am making a difference in there lives and the love that is exchanged between us.
Children grieve just as much if not more.
They lost there mother last year to cancer and the youngest was not even 3. They are now 4 and 8. I seem to zoom in on some of there issues and it's hard when the father wants me to be the disciplinarian and for him to be the good guy.
I do not think he's a good guy when he's acting like an ass hole to the kids or me.
I do not think it's fair to scream across the breakfast table at you 8 year old that "god damm son of a bitch I don't deserve this bull shit" when the child is not eatting his breakfast in a timely mannor. Only to then pick up the child in a very angry agressive way and plop him on his bed.
I'd rather he scream at me or a therapist. (even though I stood over the kitchen sink with tears streaming down my face Monday)
Not the children.
But wait... He does not think that his children have gief issues. As much as we have talked about it.
He only sees and feels his own pain.
Yes, it's hard to loose the one you love. I know that as well as he does.
I've seen abuse. I've lived with it. I do not welcome it or wish it upon anyone. Especilly two little boys who have already lost so much.
There father also seems to refuse to acknowledge that there is anything diffrent that these children have to deal with. I see things very diffrently.
I see two little boys who have been bounced back and forth. I have seen two little boys that have been kept very busy so they do not see things are diffrent, but they do.
I see two little boys who just want to be loved. I see how they look at there friends when there parents come to get them. I see how they look at there mother's bath robe that still hangs on the back of the bathroom door a year later. I see them hug it and kiss the robe every morning. I hear them cry. I hear them ask for there mother.
I've told them when they have been angry that they do not have to like me, but they do need to do what I ask them too and they need to respect me with the same respect I give them.