waiting for what is to come.
I don't know if other people do this.
I end up doing this more often than I care to admit.
Usually, I am faced with this situation where I have 2 episodes to watch until the next week. I watch the first episode; spazz, cry, encounter heartbreak, feel intense happiness and can't wait to watch what happens next.
But right at that moment I'm going to click the button for next... I realize that this is it. This is all have left until next week. I have at least 6 days before I will get what happens next. And then I hesitate. Turn it over in my head for while: Do I want to watch the next episode and risk the empty feeling I get waiting for the next episode or will I not watch the next episode and feel bad because I really want to know what happens next?
Is it weird? I always end up picking the latter.
Because while the feeling is the same; that anxious, excited feeling of wanting to know what is to come... the latter is a choice. A stupid choice, some may call it, but still a conscious choice nonetheless.
Perhaps its just me trying to regain some control in my life. Especially now that its spinning slowly but surely out of control.
Then again, perhaps I'm just weird. Oh well.
I end up doing this more often than I care to admit.
Usually, I am faced with this situation where I have 2 episodes to watch until the next week. I watch the first episode; spazz, cry, encounter heartbreak, feel intense happiness and can't wait to watch what happens next.
But right at that moment I'm going to click the button for next... I realize that this is it. This is all have left until next week. I have at least 6 days before I will get what happens next. And then I hesitate. Turn it over in my head for while: Do I want to watch the next episode and risk the empty feeling I get waiting for the next episode or will I not watch the next episode and feel bad because I really want to know what happens next?
Is it weird? I always end up picking the latter.
Because while the feeling is the same; that anxious, excited feeling of wanting to know what is to come... the latter is a choice. A stupid choice, some may call it, but still a conscious choice nonetheless.
Perhaps its just me trying to regain some control in my life. Especially now that its spinning slowly but surely out of control.
Then again, perhaps I'm just weird. Oh well.