Based on the article from Nicole's journal
Just read an article on Nicole's journal about embarrassing ideas that were being brainstormed for the Pentagon (using our tax dollars, natch). One of them was spraying the opposing troops with aphrodesiacs that will cause them to have sex with each other, create horrible and long-lasting bad breath so that they are identifiable, and a spray that will attract predatory animals, or at the least lots of stinging and biting bugs. Non-lethal is great, but need we resort to the banal?
Some other ideas:
We can infiltrate their food system, contaminate with a pro-flatulant enzyme so that their morale is lowered and we can hear the opponent farting their way through the civilian population.
We can demoralize them by sending recordings of Roy Orbison overlayed with fart sounds that go with the music. Also works nicely with Bossa Nova style music--I mean, imagine The Girl from Ipanema with punctuating gaseous explosions and a base line of belches.
We can pelt them with fruitcake, stale peppermints, and the chalky mint pastels ubiquitous to every old person's home.
We can spray them with a chemical that will insight them to moonwalk, then breakdance a la Footloose so that they are both distracted and ashamed of having inferior dance styles to those of our street gangs.
We can drop packages that will explode open to reveal cowboy hats, boots, and Garth Brooks recordings, all of which have been sprayed with feral pig urine, thereby causing them to grow large bellies, render their sexual equipment unusable, and causing them to spontaneously line dance, and uncontrollably crave Lite beer.
Ok, where's my Gov't contract?
Some other ideas:
We can infiltrate their food system, contaminate with a pro-flatulant enzyme so that their morale is lowered and we can hear the opponent farting their way through the civilian population.
We can demoralize them by sending recordings of Roy Orbison overlayed with fart sounds that go with the music. Also works nicely with Bossa Nova style music--I mean, imagine The Girl from Ipanema with punctuating gaseous explosions and a base line of belches.
We can pelt them with fruitcake, stale peppermints, and the chalky mint pastels ubiquitous to every old person's home.
We can spray them with a chemical that will insight them to moonwalk, then breakdance a la Footloose so that they are both distracted and ashamed of having inferior dance styles to those of our street gangs.
We can drop packages that will explode open to reveal cowboy hats, boots, and Garth Brooks recordings, all of which have been sprayed with feral pig urine, thereby causing them to grow large bellies, render their sexual equipment unusable, and causing them to spontaneously line dance, and uncontrollably crave Lite beer.
Ok, where's my Gov't contract?