hidden thoughts
Well let's see, I've been stressed out thinking that I've done something wrong, or that Katixa would realize how much of a loser I am and kick me to the curb. Paranoia how great.
I keep thinking about the concept of evil.
who decides it's definition?
Why do they get to?
Can it even really be defined?
Is there really an alternative?
I keep wondering what it would feel and sound like to splat on the ground from jumping off a building. Don't get me wrong I'm happy, I have the chance to be with the girl of my dreams but I still have that morbid curiosity.
Or like how long could I keep from struggling while drowning in a pool that I handcuffed myself to the bottom of and the key is just out of reach.
Why is it that secretly everyone wants to be raped?
Why do I do things to hurt myself?
I hope I go to hell if there is such a thing in the afterlife just so I can overcome it and laugh at whoever is in charge of it down there.
Why do we feel we need to hide things from eachother, all that does is hurt each of us.
Why can't I just let myself be happy? It would be nice for a change, even when I am happy my paranoia starts to ruin it, maybe when you're nearer this will work.
What if I arrange the visit and everything falls apart?
What if I say something that makes you go WTF, get out!
Why am I optomistic about other peoples lives but pessimistic about my own?
I saw 2 butterflies yesterday, one must have been hurt because it could barely keep off the ground, the other floated next to it, it didn't even leave as I got closer, it faithfully stayed by it's side.
I take most things as a sign, I don't know what to think of that one.
I keep thinking about the concept of evil.
who decides it's definition?
Why do they get to?
Can it even really be defined?
Is there really an alternative?
I keep wondering what it would feel and sound like to splat on the ground from jumping off a building. Don't get me wrong I'm happy, I have the chance to be with the girl of my dreams but I still have that morbid curiosity.
Or like how long could I keep from struggling while drowning in a pool that I handcuffed myself to the bottom of and the key is just out of reach.
Why is it that secretly everyone wants to be raped?
Why do I do things to hurt myself?
I hope I go to hell if there is such a thing in the afterlife just so I can overcome it and laugh at whoever is in charge of it down there.
Why do we feel we need to hide things from eachother, all that does is hurt each of us.
Why can't I just let myself be happy? It would be nice for a change, even when I am happy my paranoia starts to ruin it, maybe when you're nearer this will work.
What if I arrange the visit and everything falls apart?
What if I say something that makes you go WTF, get out!
Why am I optomistic about other peoples lives but pessimistic about my own?
I saw 2 butterflies yesterday, one must have been hurt because it could barely keep off the ground, the other floated next to it, it didn't even leave as I got closer, it faithfully stayed by it's side.
I take most things as a sign, I don't know what to think of that one.