(no subject)
..its like ive been headed on a collision course with nothing. And when you hit nothing it starts to feel like something; something that cannot be explained.
who would have thought that this would be my life. I have found myself talking about what i should have been or where i should be at this point in life. Its almost as if i have been here physically but my mental state has been running on Red Bull with no one at the controls.
I felt it this past week..that point everyone talks about as we get older. The point where your body says "No more"
I look at where i was 3 years ago. Going through an annulment, losing everything.
I looked at myself today and where I am. I'm still here and Ive done and loved alot in the past 3 years, but alas I am still alone.
I remeber thinking to myself 3 years ago "People that say your past will effect you in the future are full of shit, its all about how you take that moment and live it."
Yeah I was full of shit. haha. Every instance of my past as effected me. Im afraid to show my true emotions for fear of losing. I never used to try to control anything, life was like a river, just go with the flow is how i once lived. To think thats how i have been living these 3 years and Im full of crap. I had become to controlling. I forgot that having fun and enjoying things doesnt mean alcohol and sex have to come 1 and 2 on the list.
Where has my sense of "this is the only life you have enjoy it" gone?
FYI: James Blunt is awesome.
who would have thought that this would be my life. I have found myself talking about what i should have been or where i should be at this point in life. Its almost as if i have been here physically but my mental state has been running on Red Bull with no one at the controls.
I felt it this past week..that point everyone talks about as we get older. The point where your body says "No more"
I look at where i was 3 years ago. Going through an annulment, losing everything.
I looked at myself today and where I am. I'm still here and Ive done and loved alot in the past 3 years, but alas I am still alone.
I remeber thinking to myself 3 years ago "People that say your past will effect you in the future are full of shit, its all about how you take that moment and live it."
Yeah I was full of shit. haha. Every instance of my past as effected me. Im afraid to show my true emotions for fear of losing. I never used to try to control anything, life was like a river, just go with the flow is how i once lived. To think thats how i have been living these 3 years and Im full of crap. I had become to controlling. I forgot that having fun and enjoying things doesnt mean alcohol and sex have to come 1 and 2 on the list.
Where has my sense of "this is the only life you have enjoy it" gone?
FYI: James Blunt is awesome.