(no subject)
I'm a really negative person I've realized. I don't try to be. I guess I just dwell on the negatives more. They seem to be more prominent in my life than the positives. I guess it's hard when I don't get any positive reinforcement. I get surrounded by this negative shit and it sucks. Apparently I need to try harder, but it's hard to when I haven't seen the effects it can do. It's hard to get the motivation to work harder when I don't know what can come out of it cuz I haven't seen it yet. This sucks. I have this feeling that I annoy people with talking about this shit, so I'll just try to keep it to myself. I really wanna enjoy my time here, whether it be for 6 weeks or another 2 years. I've enjoyed this year. I didn't think that'd happen cuz this year got off to a shitty start, but I became closer to a few people and I'm glad I have. I'm just scared of losing that. I don't know what I'll do... I don't know what TO do. The future scares me, mainly cuz I have no idea what to do or where I'm going. I really hope that when I leave college, I am able to keep at least a few of the close friends that I've made here. They've made it tolerable.