my brain hurts
Hey folks. I have nothing important to say. Refrain from continuing to read this BS. Right now I'm trying to conduct research. It's not going well. I'm trying to do too much stuff at once and getting nowhere. I can't even begin to organize my thoughts. You'd think that after writing so many last minute papers I would have this all down by now. Maybe I only know how to do research when it is last minute. Eh. Thinking about too many things at once is really hard. I sympathize with those suffering true ADHD; if this is how you always think, PROPS. So, I'm probably exaggerating my current difficulties. I'm still keeping it together, just stressing a tad. I'm also trying to find a job. I've been saying that since this semester started but now that my money is running out and I have a lot of things to pay for I need to get a little more serious. (i.e. A lot more serious). My semester really isn't that bad. I just don't know how to be a proper student. And yet, sometimes my grades indicate that I'm just fine. Although twice in my life I have either failed a class or withdrew from a class because I decided I couldn't complete the final assignment. I am not as consistent as I think. Today I got a midterm back for my political geography course. I swear that if any other instructor had graded my paper they would have given me a C. Ishan, he'll give you an A for a paper that has no coherence or relevance whatsoever. Honestly, if you are doing poorly in that class, you probably don't know how to form complete sentences because that seems to be his only criteria. Sooooo, what else. My aunt is expecting a child. She's getting a little old to be expecting a 4th one. If she doesn't miscarry again I'll have another male cousin. Hooray. I can't wait until my little cousins learn how to read. I don't know, it excites me. My family is just obsessed with reading. Minus Dylan. I think it should be winter break. Thanksgiving break just won't be enough. Soon this will all be over and hopefully I will still be in one piece. I probably will. Lisa, on the other hand, I don't know. She's going to have to have surgery on her knee during one of the aforementioned breaks. And for some stupid reason I think I have things to complain about. So in the midst, of all these random thoughts, I cannot help but come back to the question of why are we here. I was thinking about it earlier today when I was sitting in one of our campus dining halls. Not many people were there because it was after 5. The neon colored sign of Sbarro was lighting up the kitchen area. Some guy sitting across the room appeared to be looking my way for whatever odd reason. And I just started pondering why the fuck am I here? I go to Syracuse University for this crap? And what am I going to do with my life? And why will getting a job in foresty, or Spanish translation, or teaching, or anything else be meaningful? And then I'm going to die? Well, we all go through that thought process, I suppose. I want to know why no one has come up with any answer that could even begin to satisfy me. What with all the Syracuse Universities and think tanks in the world you'd think we would have come up with something by now. Okay, well, if you read all this, I feel kind of sorry for you. But maybe it will change your life. Who knows. Have a productive (?) day.