59: you kids need anything? some snacks? a condom?
Name: Torchwood Parties
Characters: hp_capslock Fred Weasley, Barty Crouch Jr, Jack Harkness
Pairing: Jack/Fred, Barty/Fred
Rating: PG13
Synopsis: Oh dear.
WC: 2883
“Come here, Fred,” Jack called Fred over to his office. “Now.”
He figured he was in trouble. Typical, really. He figured it was only a matter of time before Jack realized that neither Owen nor himself had handed in any paper work on their field missions. It was only a matter of time before Jack realized that Fred helped Tosh hack into the UNIT base with magical help.
Fred Weasley picked up the folder beside him - he was getting fired.
He hopped up the stairs quickly, taking two at a time, wishing that this meeting would be quick and painless. He pushed open Jack’s door and took a deep breath,
“Okay, Owen and I-“
“Sit down, Ging,” Jack motioned to the chair across from him.
Ging. That’s a good thing. He can’t be too mad at me if he’s calling me Ging.
Fred took his seat nervously, “What’s going on?”
Jack leaned over and motioned Fred to do the same. Fred leaned in and was surprised when Jack slammed a glass bottle between them.
“What’s that then?” Fred whispered.
“Not sure,” Jack bounced the tip of the bottle between his fingers.
“Alien?” Fred bit his pen lid and started scribbling down notes.
“Mhmm.” Jack watched Fred furiously write down notes. “How can you possibly be writing that much based on that?”
Fred looked up, “Oh!” He spoke with the lid of his pen still between his teeth, “I was drawing it out,” he turned his sheet of paper over. “Seeing as we can’t take this stuff home and study it.” He reached over and grabbed the bottle from Jack and started writing down physical descriptions of the bottle and liquid.
Jack leaned back in his chair and rested his hands on top of his head, “Your permit says Barty’s showing up today.”
“Yep,” Fred said without looking up from the bottle.
“Anything special planned?” Jack watched Fred inspect the bottle with great detail.
“Umm,” Fred set the bottle on the desk in front of him, “No,” he laughed. “I figured we’d go out to eat, go for a walk around town - maybe a little trip through time.” He shrugged happily, “Bestie stuff.”
Jack eyed the bottle, “Well, I want you to finish up this case before you and him go off on your little date.”
Fred’s head snapped up, “Nothing like that.”
“Of course not,” Jack laughed. “You should test that out,” he pointed to the bottle. “I want a full report on my desk by the end of the day.”
“Of course,” Fred nodded. “Although, last time I tested something out, it sort of…” Fred trailed off, remembering the time-altering mess he could have potentially created if Barty hadn’t been there to fix it in time.
“I’ll be there for the test,” Jack grinned. “You can do the write up on your own.”
Fred sighed, picking up his belongings, “Alright, I’ll go finish up the work on the faux Cyberman in Swansea and I’ll start this up right after.”
“Don’t keep me waiting, Ging,” Jack grinned, kicking his feet up on the desk. “I hate waiting.”
--
“Ready, Ging?” Jack asked, pointing the spray nozzle at Fred.
“Just about,” Fred finished writing up his outline. “Alright,” he put the pen down and stood up in front of the desk. “Hit me, Harkness.”
“One… two… three,” Jack sprayed Fred with the foreign substance. It made his skin glow lightly for a split second. It must’ve tingled, because Fred grinned as if he were being tickled.
“I don’t feel any diff-,” Fred said, rubbing his head. “My head feels a bit like I’ve been drinking.” He sniffed his shirt, “I don’t smell diff-“
Jack set down the bottle and pulled Fred in by the back of his head and kissed him hard, pulling the rest of Fred’s body closer with his free hand. Fred bat Jack’s shoulder roughly, trying to get his boss to peel off his body. Unfortunately for Fred, Jack didn’t mind being beaten up a bit during a good time. As a man who couldn’t die, physical violence was often welcomed by Jack.
Jack kissed up Fred’s jaw, sucking lightly with every kiss, until he reached his ear. Jack breathed heavily against Fred’s cheek, whispering in his commanding, authoritative way, “Kiss me back.”
Fred pulled back, reaching around for his pen to write down his observations. There was no way he was kissing Jack back. He was his boss. He was his friend. He was a he! He let go of Jack and walked back to his desk, sat down and started to write.
Determined to change his mind, Jack walked up behind Fred and kissed up his neck softly, “Come on, Ging,” Fred could feel Jack’s lips press into his signature smirk. “Don’t do this to me,” he sucked lightly on his earlobe. “Bad enough when you ignore me with the team around,” he bit his earlobe gently, “don’t do this to me in private too.”
Fred turned his head slowly and reached up to kiss Jack, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and tugging slightly. “Keep doing that, Harkness,” he whispered against Jack’s lips, laughing lightly, “and we’ll see what happens.”
Kissing Jack was different. Other than the obvious same sex aspect to this, Jack had a certain force in the way he kissed. It wasn’t rhythmic. Fred pulled Jack closer, feeling a slight rush of indulging in the unknown. Sure, it wasn’t uncommon for Jack and members of his team to get physically involved with one another, but it was different to have Jack asking for it.
Jack pulled Fred up and held him close against his body, as if making sure Fred wouldn’t run off. “Kiss me again, Ging,” Jack sat up on Fred’s desk and pulled Fred to follow by the collar of his favourite of Fred’s shirts, “I need you to kiss me again.”
Fred grabbed Jack’s hands, trying to pry them off him, “Jack,” he panted slightly. “Let go.”
Jack leaned in and kissed all over the top of Fred’s hand, “I’ll do anything, Ging.” He sucked on the side of Fred’s neck, “Anything your heart or,” he smirked against his skin again, “any other part of you, desires.”
Fred pressed Jack’s head harder against his neck, his fingers tangling in Jack’s hair. “But what if my desire, Jack,” he whispered, panting lightly, “is for you to leave me alone?”
“I’m afraid,” Jack bit Fred’s neck hard. “I can’t do that.”
“I think you really should look into it,” a voice snarled from the door, causing Jack to jump back in surprise.
“Bes-“ Fred started and was shocked to see Barty throw his belongings to the ground and rip Jack off of him, throwing him as hard as he could to the other side of the room.
“Absolutely not,” Barty smoothed out the front of his suit. “Disgusting, Harkness. You have truly outdone yourself.”
Jack rubbed the back of his head, his eyes fluttering, “Nothing disgusting about showing a little emotion. Giving into a little temptation.”
Barty had stopped paying attention all together and turned to Fred, cupping his face, “Are you alright?”
“Well, I thin-“
Barty pulled Fred closer to him and slowly licked his bottom lip, “I don’t like him touching you. Not like that.” Barty ran his hands down Fred’s front and slipped his hands under Fred’s shirt, stroking his lower back, “I could tell you didn’t like it either, I know you,” he whispered against Fred’s lips, inhaling deeply. “Despite what he thinks,” he flicked his eyes in Jack’s direction, “I know you better than anyone else.” Barty gently licked his way down Fred’s neck, groaning softly until he reached the base of his neck. “I know that what he was doing before wasn’t enough,” Barty sucked hard at the base of Fred’s neck. “It’s all well and good to suck and bite,” he licked up Fred’s neck and whispered in his ear, “but I know you need a good lick to satisfy you, Fred.”
Fred groaned loudly, digging his nails into Barty’s arms, “Barty,” he moaned, trying to keep his train of thought, “what are we doi-“
Barty laughed quietly against Fred’s ear and licked the shell of his ear, “Do you really want me to stop, Fred?” He could feel Fred’s grip on his arms tightening, “Admit it, Fred,” he retraced where he had just licked, feeling Fred’s breathing hitch against his cheek, “You don’t want me to stop.” He turned his head and kiss his cheek softly and whispered against his skin, “You’ve wanted this for too long for me to stop.”
Fred turned his head and grabbed on to Barty’s hair, “Don’t stop,” he pleaded. “Don’t stop, please.”
Barty smiled and leaned in, “You even asked politely,” he kissed Fred softly, holding him closer against his body. “I suppose I will have to oblige.” He leaned in and kissed Fred again, softly sucking on Fred’s bottom lip. Fred noticed Barty’s style of kissing was vastly different from Jack’s. It was softer with just a hint of nervousness. Above all else, when Barty kissed Fred, Fred could sense one thing right away - there was meaning behind every kiss.
Fred ran his hands through Barty’s hair, pulling him closer into every kiss. “Barty, you’re fantastic.” He was shocked when he felt Barty pull back quickly.
“Oh no,” Barty shook his head. “Now we have a problem.” Fred must have looked rather panicked because Barty smiled reassuringly. “You’re mistaken,” Barty leaned his forehead against Fred’s, looking into his striking blue eyes, “I’m brilliant.” They broke into grins and beams, closed their eyes and pressed their lips together again. Muffled moans and stifled groans filled the air around them.
Barty moved his hands to Fred’s front, stroking his stomach thoughtlessly, licking up his jaw at a steady pace, “I need to touch you, Fredrick. I hope you don’t mi-“
Fred pulled back quickly, “No one calls me Fredrick.” He felt Barty’s hot breath against his neck. He felt his mouth leave a trail of lazy kisses down to the section of his neck that connected to his collarbone, felt Barty’s tongue swirl around his clavicle expertly.
“No one?” he whispered, tugging on Fred’s shirt and sucking on Fred’s neck again. “No one at all?” He could hear Fred inhale sharply, he knew him well enough to know that Fred was trying his hardest to form some sort of argument.
“Call me Fredrick again,” Fred moaned out, pulling Barty’s hips sharply against his own. “Let’s see where this takes us.”
Barty’s eyes darted up to meet Fred’s and he smiled, “Our own little adventure, hmm?” He kissed back up Fred’s neck and moved back to his lips. “We didn’t even need the TARDIS to-“
“What are you two doing?” they heard Jack ask from the corner. He scrambled to his feet and walked over to the pair, “You two? Together?” He rubbed his head, “I am concussed, aren’t I?”
Barty turned his head and grinned spitefully, “Well, Harkness,” he flicked his tongue against Fred’s bottom lip, causing Fred to groan slightly. “If you are concussed,” he rolled his hips against Fred, causing the pair of them to gasp. “Isn’t this the best hallucination you could ask for?”
Jack reached over and cupped Fred’s face, “Definitely a high quality one.” He rubbed Fred’s cheek with his thumb. “Let me see just how high qual-“
Barty turned Fred away from Jack, “I don’t think so,” Barty smirked. “You had your little fun, Harkness, now Fredrick will have his.” He turned to face Jack, licking up the side of Fred’s neck, sending faint shivers down Fred’s body. Barty swirled his tongue triumphantly at the top of Fred’s neck, just below the ear, and kissed it softly, glaring at Jack. He whispered against Fred’s ear, “How is that, Fredrick?”
Fred bit his lip, leaning his head against Barty’s, “Brilliant.”
Barty smirked at Jack, kissing Fred again, “Do you want him to leave, Fredrick?” He whispered more quietly than before, “If he leaves, I’ll be more prone to do a bit more exploratory licking.”
“Jack, leave now,” Fred turned around sharply. “You’ll have your report soon. Just go. You hit your head. Leave. Go see Owen. Leave.”
Barty walked up behind Fred and wrapped his arms around his middle, “You heard the man, Captain,” Barty felt Fred turn his head to meet his, “You’re excused.” He leaned in and kissed him harder than before, letting his hands wander back up Fred’s shirt. Barty groaned loudly as Fred swirled his tongue around Barty’s, sliding it across Barty’s effortlessly. Barty moved his hands down lower, sliding his fingertips inside the top of Fred’s trousers, lightly rubbing against his warm skin. He felt Fred’s body tighten in response, knowing that if Fred was able to, he would’ve responded accordingly. Barty watched as Jack picked up Barty’s belongings and set out a pitcher of water for them. The pair could tell they had miffed Jack and that the pitcher was his own little spiteful way of saying ‘when you’re done your little session, feel free to see what a considerate person I am’. Barty laughed against Fred’s skin, “We’ve scared him off, Fredrick,” he flicked his tongue over Fred’s cheek, “Now we can look into, perhaps, something along,” he swiped his fingers lower, “these lines?”
Fred whispered back, eyes shut, trying to remember how to compose a simple sentence, “Time for an adventure.”
--
Fred lay his head against the cool glass of the conference room table. His eyes closed tight, trying to make sense of anything that had just happened.
“So, what you’re telling me is that what just happened, that… thing…” Fred’s furrowed his brow, his eyes still clamped shut. “That was-“
“Of your own accord, the pair of you,” Jack said, patting him on the back. “Not even that cologne stuff works that well.” He smiled warmly, “I don’t know if this is what you want to hear, Ging, but that whole thing with you and Barty… that’s…” he cocked his head to the side, “you can’t seriously tell me that you thought you were under any sort of alien influence.” Jack chuckled quietly, “I mean, other than the alien you were-“
Fred let out a defeated groan and bumped his head off the table, “I can’t believe we just-“
“I know,” Jack said part-impressed, part-shocked and entirely all too pleased with himself that it was his fault for it happening. He rubbed Fred’s back slowly, “Don’t worry, though. It’s being taken care of.”
Fred lifted his head, eyebrow raised, “Jack, he TARDIS’d off as soon as he could, before anyone could even talk to him about what happened. He grabbed his stuff and left.” Fred shook his head, his eyes swimming with worry. He reached over to his half-empty glass of water and chugged down the rest of it, “What if he doesn’t come back and it’s all my fault?”
“He’ll be back,” Jack said confidently. “Actually, he’ll probably be back tomorrow. Back at your house. Totally normal.”
“Totally normal?” Fred raised his voice, slamming the glass on the table. “There is nothing normal about me and Barty and… nothing!” Fred lowered his head to the table again, “He’s never coming back.”
Jack rubbed Fred’s back slower, speaking softly, “It’ll be just like a weird dream.”
Fred sat up and rubbed his eyes, “What do you mean?”
Jack lifted Fred’s frame up off the table and spun him to face him, “Come on, Ging. I’ll take you home. You’ve got to sleep the retcon off in your own bed. It feels better when it’s your own bed.”
--
Fred woke up abruptly in his bed, screaming out in horror. It had been the strangest dream he had ever had.
“George, George,” Fred screamed out. “George!”
A very sleepy and rather displeased twin waddled into the room, “What’s all this then? Why are you yelling?”
“I had this really… scary dream,” Fred rubbed his head.
“Oh no,” George crawled on to the bed beside Fred. “What happened?”
“Barty and I…” his face screwed up.
“Oh.”
“Mhmm.”
“You gonna talk to him about it?” George asked, yawning as he spoke.
“I’m scared of how he’ll react,” Fred sunk into his bed, rubbing his face.
“It was a dream, Freddie, nothing to worry yourself over,” George pat his arm reassuringly.
Fred sighed sleepily and hugged his twin, “You’re right,” he shuffled back into his regular sleeping position, trying to align himself with the warm patch on his mattress, “just a dumb dream.”
--
“I know what happened,” Barty said smiling softly.
“What?” Fred felt Barty cradle him slightly as they walked.
“We’ve just spent so much time together lately! That’s all it was, it doesn’t mean that you actually, you know…”
“Oh,” Fred sighed happily. “Oh, well, that’s good. I was worried that you were going to be mad at me and never be my bestie again. I would’ve been heartbroken.” He cocked his head to the side and laughed, “Well, if I had a heart I would be heartbroken.”
“Oh never,” Barty grinned down at Fred swaying in his arms. “I do not give up on my bestie so easily.”
What ever would I do without you?
Characters: hp_capslock Fred Weasley, Barty Crouch Jr, Jack Harkness
Pairing: Jack/Fred, Barty/Fred
Rating: PG13
Synopsis: Oh dear.
WC: 2883
“Come here, Fred,” Jack called Fred over to his office. “Now.”
He figured he was in trouble. Typical, really. He figured it was only a matter of time before Jack realized that neither Owen nor himself had handed in any paper work on their field missions. It was only a matter of time before Jack realized that Fred helped Tosh hack into the UNIT base with magical help.
Fred Weasley picked up the folder beside him - he was getting fired.
He hopped up the stairs quickly, taking two at a time, wishing that this meeting would be quick and painless. He pushed open Jack’s door and took a deep breath,
“Okay, Owen and I-“
“Sit down, Ging,” Jack motioned to the chair across from him.
Ging. That’s a good thing. He can’t be too mad at me if he’s calling me Ging.
Fred took his seat nervously, “What’s going on?”
Jack leaned over and motioned Fred to do the same. Fred leaned in and was surprised when Jack slammed a glass bottle between them.
“What’s that then?” Fred whispered.
“Not sure,” Jack bounced the tip of the bottle between his fingers.
“Alien?” Fred bit his pen lid and started scribbling down notes.
“Mhmm.” Jack watched Fred furiously write down notes. “How can you possibly be writing that much based on that?”
Fred looked up, “Oh!” He spoke with the lid of his pen still between his teeth, “I was drawing it out,” he turned his sheet of paper over. “Seeing as we can’t take this stuff home and study it.” He reached over and grabbed the bottle from Jack and started writing down physical descriptions of the bottle and liquid.
Jack leaned back in his chair and rested his hands on top of his head, “Your permit says Barty’s showing up today.”
“Yep,” Fred said without looking up from the bottle.
“Anything special planned?” Jack watched Fred inspect the bottle with great detail.
“Umm,” Fred set the bottle on the desk in front of him, “No,” he laughed. “I figured we’d go out to eat, go for a walk around town - maybe a little trip through time.” He shrugged happily, “Bestie stuff.”
Jack eyed the bottle, “Well, I want you to finish up this case before you and him go off on your little date.”
Fred’s head snapped up, “Nothing like that.”
“Of course not,” Jack laughed. “You should test that out,” he pointed to the bottle. “I want a full report on my desk by the end of the day.”
“Of course,” Fred nodded. “Although, last time I tested something out, it sort of…” Fred trailed off, remembering the time-altering mess he could have potentially created if Barty hadn’t been there to fix it in time.
“I’ll be there for the test,” Jack grinned. “You can do the write up on your own.”
Fred sighed, picking up his belongings, “Alright, I’ll go finish up the work on the faux Cyberman in Swansea and I’ll start this up right after.”
“Don’t keep me waiting, Ging,” Jack grinned, kicking his feet up on the desk. “I hate waiting.”
--
“Ready, Ging?” Jack asked, pointing the spray nozzle at Fred.
“Just about,” Fred finished writing up his outline. “Alright,” he put the pen down and stood up in front of the desk. “Hit me, Harkness.”
“One… two… three,” Jack sprayed Fred with the foreign substance. It made his skin glow lightly for a split second. It must’ve tingled, because Fred grinned as if he were being tickled.
“I don’t feel any diff-,” Fred said, rubbing his head. “My head feels a bit like I’ve been drinking.” He sniffed his shirt, “I don’t smell diff-“
Jack set down the bottle and pulled Fred in by the back of his head and kissed him hard, pulling the rest of Fred’s body closer with his free hand. Fred bat Jack’s shoulder roughly, trying to get his boss to peel off his body. Unfortunately for Fred, Jack didn’t mind being beaten up a bit during a good time. As a man who couldn’t die, physical violence was often welcomed by Jack.
Jack kissed up Fred’s jaw, sucking lightly with every kiss, until he reached his ear. Jack breathed heavily against Fred’s cheek, whispering in his commanding, authoritative way, “Kiss me back.”
Fred pulled back, reaching around for his pen to write down his observations. There was no way he was kissing Jack back. He was his boss. He was his friend. He was a he! He let go of Jack and walked back to his desk, sat down and started to write.
Determined to change his mind, Jack walked up behind Fred and kissed up his neck softly, “Come on, Ging,” Fred could feel Jack’s lips press into his signature smirk. “Don’t do this to me,” he sucked lightly on his earlobe. “Bad enough when you ignore me with the team around,” he bit his earlobe gently, “don’t do this to me in private too.”
Fred turned his head slowly and reached up to kiss Jack, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and tugging slightly. “Keep doing that, Harkness,” he whispered against Jack’s lips, laughing lightly, “and we’ll see what happens.”
Kissing Jack was different. Other than the obvious same sex aspect to this, Jack had a certain force in the way he kissed. It wasn’t rhythmic. Fred pulled Jack closer, feeling a slight rush of indulging in the unknown. Sure, it wasn’t uncommon for Jack and members of his team to get physically involved with one another, but it was different to have Jack asking for it.
Jack pulled Fred up and held him close against his body, as if making sure Fred wouldn’t run off. “Kiss me again, Ging,” Jack sat up on Fred’s desk and pulled Fred to follow by the collar of his favourite of Fred’s shirts, “I need you to kiss me again.”
Fred grabbed Jack’s hands, trying to pry them off him, “Jack,” he panted slightly. “Let go.”
Jack leaned in and kissed all over the top of Fred’s hand, “I’ll do anything, Ging.” He sucked on the side of Fred’s neck, “Anything your heart or,” he smirked against his skin again, “any other part of you, desires.”
Fred pressed Jack’s head harder against his neck, his fingers tangling in Jack’s hair. “But what if my desire, Jack,” he whispered, panting lightly, “is for you to leave me alone?”
“I’m afraid,” Jack bit Fred’s neck hard. “I can’t do that.”
“I think you really should look into it,” a voice snarled from the door, causing Jack to jump back in surprise.
“Bes-“ Fred started and was shocked to see Barty throw his belongings to the ground and rip Jack off of him, throwing him as hard as he could to the other side of the room.
“Absolutely not,” Barty smoothed out the front of his suit. “Disgusting, Harkness. You have truly outdone yourself.”
Jack rubbed the back of his head, his eyes fluttering, “Nothing disgusting about showing a little emotion. Giving into a little temptation.”
Barty had stopped paying attention all together and turned to Fred, cupping his face, “Are you alright?”
“Well, I thin-“
Barty pulled Fred closer to him and slowly licked his bottom lip, “I don’t like him touching you. Not like that.” Barty ran his hands down Fred’s front and slipped his hands under Fred’s shirt, stroking his lower back, “I could tell you didn’t like it either, I know you,” he whispered against Fred’s lips, inhaling deeply. “Despite what he thinks,” he flicked his eyes in Jack’s direction, “I know you better than anyone else.” Barty gently licked his way down Fred’s neck, groaning softly until he reached the base of his neck. “I know that what he was doing before wasn’t enough,” Barty sucked hard at the base of Fred’s neck. “It’s all well and good to suck and bite,” he licked up Fred’s neck and whispered in his ear, “but I know you need a good lick to satisfy you, Fred.”
Fred groaned loudly, digging his nails into Barty’s arms, “Barty,” he moaned, trying to keep his train of thought, “what are we doi-“
Barty laughed quietly against Fred’s ear and licked the shell of his ear, “Do you really want me to stop, Fred?” He could feel Fred’s grip on his arms tightening, “Admit it, Fred,” he retraced where he had just licked, feeling Fred’s breathing hitch against his cheek, “You don’t want me to stop.” He turned his head and kiss his cheek softly and whispered against his skin, “You’ve wanted this for too long for me to stop.”
Fred turned his head and grabbed on to Barty’s hair, “Don’t stop,” he pleaded. “Don’t stop, please.”
Barty smiled and leaned in, “You even asked politely,” he kissed Fred softly, holding him closer against his body. “I suppose I will have to oblige.” He leaned in and kissed Fred again, softly sucking on Fred’s bottom lip. Fred noticed Barty’s style of kissing was vastly different from Jack’s. It was softer with just a hint of nervousness. Above all else, when Barty kissed Fred, Fred could sense one thing right away - there was meaning behind every kiss.
Fred ran his hands through Barty’s hair, pulling him closer into every kiss. “Barty, you’re fantastic.” He was shocked when he felt Barty pull back quickly.
“Oh no,” Barty shook his head. “Now we have a problem.” Fred must have looked rather panicked because Barty smiled reassuringly. “You’re mistaken,” Barty leaned his forehead against Fred’s, looking into his striking blue eyes, “I’m brilliant.” They broke into grins and beams, closed their eyes and pressed their lips together again. Muffled moans and stifled groans filled the air around them.
Barty moved his hands to Fred’s front, stroking his stomach thoughtlessly, licking up his jaw at a steady pace, “I need to touch you, Fredrick. I hope you don’t mi-“
Fred pulled back quickly, “No one calls me Fredrick.” He felt Barty’s hot breath against his neck. He felt his mouth leave a trail of lazy kisses down to the section of his neck that connected to his collarbone, felt Barty’s tongue swirl around his clavicle expertly.
“No one?” he whispered, tugging on Fred’s shirt and sucking on Fred’s neck again. “No one at all?” He could hear Fred inhale sharply, he knew him well enough to know that Fred was trying his hardest to form some sort of argument.
“Call me Fredrick again,” Fred moaned out, pulling Barty’s hips sharply against his own. “Let’s see where this takes us.”
Barty’s eyes darted up to meet Fred’s and he smiled, “Our own little adventure, hmm?” He kissed back up Fred’s neck and moved back to his lips. “We didn’t even need the TARDIS to-“
“What are you two doing?” they heard Jack ask from the corner. He scrambled to his feet and walked over to the pair, “You two? Together?” He rubbed his head, “I am concussed, aren’t I?”
Barty turned his head and grinned spitefully, “Well, Harkness,” he flicked his tongue against Fred’s bottom lip, causing Fred to groan slightly. “If you are concussed,” he rolled his hips against Fred, causing the pair of them to gasp. “Isn’t this the best hallucination you could ask for?”
Jack reached over and cupped Fred’s face, “Definitely a high quality one.” He rubbed Fred’s cheek with his thumb. “Let me see just how high qual-“
Barty turned Fred away from Jack, “I don’t think so,” Barty smirked. “You had your little fun, Harkness, now Fredrick will have his.” He turned to face Jack, licking up the side of Fred’s neck, sending faint shivers down Fred’s body. Barty swirled his tongue triumphantly at the top of Fred’s neck, just below the ear, and kissed it softly, glaring at Jack. He whispered against Fred’s ear, “How is that, Fredrick?”
Fred bit his lip, leaning his head against Barty’s, “Brilliant.”
Barty smirked at Jack, kissing Fred again, “Do you want him to leave, Fredrick?” He whispered more quietly than before, “If he leaves, I’ll be more prone to do a bit more exploratory licking.”
“Jack, leave now,” Fred turned around sharply. “You’ll have your report soon. Just go. You hit your head. Leave. Go see Owen. Leave.”
Barty walked up behind Fred and wrapped his arms around his middle, “You heard the man, Captain,” Barty felt Fred turn his head to meet his, “You’re excused.” He leaned in and kissed him harder than before, letting his hands wander back up Fred’s shirt. Barty groaned loudly as Fred swirled his tongue around Barty’s, sliding it across Barty’s effortlessly. Barty moved his hands down lower, sliding his fingertips inside the top of Fred’s trousers, lightly rubbing against his warm skin. He felt Fred’s body tighten in response, knowing that if Fred was able to, he would’ve responded accordingly. Barty watched as Jack picked up Barty’s belongings and set out a pitcher of water for them. The pair could tell they had miffed Jack and that the pitcher was his own little spiteful way of saying ‘when you’re done your little session, feel free to see what a considerate person I am’. Barty laughed against Fred’s skin, “We’ve scared him off, Fredrick,” he flicked his tongue over Fred’s cheek, “Now we can look into, perhaps, something along,” he swiped his fingers lower, “these lines?”
Fred whispered back, eyes shut, trying to remember how to compose a simple sentence, “Time for an adventure.”
--
Fred lay his head against the cool glass of the conference room table. His eyes closed tight, trying to make sense of anything that had just happened.
“So, what you’re telling me is that what just happened, that… thing…” Fred’s furrowed his brow, his eyes still clamped shut. “That was-“
“Of your own accord, the pair of you,” Jack said, patting him on the back. “Not even that cologne stuff works that well.” He smiled warmly, “I don’t know if this is what you want to hear, Ging, but that whole thing with you and Barty… that’s…” he cocked his head to the side, “you can’t seriously tell me that you thought you were under any sort of alien influence.” Jack chuckled quietly, “I mean, other than the alien you were-“
Fred let out a defeated groan and bumped his head off the table, “I can’t believe we just-“
“I know,” Jack said part-impressed, part-shocked and entirely all too pleased with himself that it was his fault for it happening. He rubbed Fred’s back slowly, “Don’t worry, though. It’s being taken care of.”
Fred lifted his head, eyebrow raised, “Jack, he TARDIS’d off as soon as he could, before anyone could even talk to him about what happened. He grabbed his stuff and left.” Fred shook his head, his eyes swimming with worry. He reached over to his half-empty glass of water and chugged down the rest of it, “What if he doesn’t come back and it’s all my fault?”
“He’ll be back,” Jack said confidently. “Actually, he’ll probably be back tomorrow. Back at your house. Totally normal.”
“Totally normal?” Fred raised his voice, slamming the glass on the table. “There is nothing normal about me and Barty and… nothing!” Fred lowered his head to the table again, “He’s never coming back.”
Jack rubbed Fred’s back slower, speaking softly, “It’ll be just like a weird dream.”
Fred sat up and rubbed his eyes, “What do you mean?”
Jack lifted Fred’s frame up off the table and spun him to face him, “Come on, Ging. I’ll take you home. You’ve got to sleep the retcon off in your own bed. It feels better when it’s your own bed.”
--
Fred woke up abruptly in his bed, screaming out in horror. It had been the strangest dream he had ever had.
“George, George,” Fred screamed out. “George!”
A very sleepy and rather displeased twin waddled into the room, “What’s all this then? Why are you yelling?”
“I had this really… scary dream,” Fred rubbed his head.
“Oh no,” George crawled on to the bed beside Fred. “What happened?”
“Barty and I…” his face screwed up.
“Oh.”
“Mhmm.”
“You gonna talk to him about it?” George asked, yawning as he spoke.
“I’m scared of how he’ll react,” Fred sunk into his bed, rubbing his face.
“It was a dream, Freddie, nothing to worry yourself over,” George pat his arm reassuringly.
Fred sighed sleepily and hugged his twin, “You’re right,” he shuffled back into his regular sleeping position, trying to align himself with the warm patch on his mattress, “just a dumb dream.”
--
“I know what happened,” Barty said smiling softly.
“What?” Fred felt Barty cradle him slightly as they walked.
“We’ve just spent so much time together lately! That’s all it was, it doesn’t mean that you actually, you know…”
“Oh,” Fred sighed happily. “Oh, well, that’s good. I was worried that you were going to be mad at me and never be my bestie again. I would’ve been heartbroken.” He cocked his head to the side and laughed, “Well, if I had a heart I would be heartbroken.”
“Oh never,” Barty grinned down at Fred swaying in his arms. “I do not give up on my bestie so easily.”
What ever would I do without you?