45: jf;sfkdlf goodbye canon
Name: Bliss
Characters: hp_capslock Fred Weasley, Barty Crouch Jr, George Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Astoria Greengrass, Cecilia, Pansy Parkinson, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Lily Evans, James Potter
Pairing: Barty/Fred, Remus/Dora, George/Luna, Snarry
Rating: PG
Synopsis: Probably how things would unfold if this ever came up in caps.
WC: 1688
“Attention desperate hos! Line up for the bouquet toss!” Pansy instructed, her voice booming across the reception hall. Lily smiled brightly at James, who mimed her beating women down with her flowers. She giggled and turned around, waiting for the appropriate time to throw.
“You’re going to ruin everything again, aren’t you?” Astoria smiled, lining up beside her sister.
“I’d rather he caught it than you, sis,” Daphne snorted. “I’d get to be a bridesmaid, right Fred?”
Fred laughed as he stood with the gaggle of hormonal women, “I’m here to go two for two at a Lily wedding I was alive to tarnish.” He sipped his appletini, “Can’t just go back on tradition, can I?”
“Oh Fred,” Cecilia sighed. “Why do you insist on ruining moments at weddings? Would you have done this if we got married?”
The drunk ginger snorted into his glass, “Absolutely.”
“Fred Weasley,” a sharp voice yelled. Fred giggled out of control and ducked behind Daphne and Bellatrix. Pansy walked behind Bellatrix and tapped her foot impatiently, “Fred Weasley, I am here to make sure you will not ruin this moment.”
“But why?” Fred whined, still huddled behind Bellatrix, clinging to her dress for stability.
“This is, basically, Biblical history in the making,” Pansy put her hand on her hips. “You, of all people, want to ruin a precious Biblical moment?” Pansy scoffed, “How dare you?”
Fred lifted himself to his feet, dusting off his black pinstripe suit, “Fine,” he said snapping his fingers in a sloppy z-formation. “I’m gonna go make out with my boyfriend now.”
“Yes,” Pansy nodded. “Please go do so. Make sure George gets a few good pictures for m- … for memories.”
The intoxicated male stumbled over to three people conversing at a table to the right of the dance floor. He fell into another pinstriped lap, giggling drunkenly. He bit his lip and snorted lightly with laughter, “Allo, love.”
Barty wrapped an arm around the drunken ginger, “Fredrick,” he smiled, “Remus and I were just discussing your need to spoil wedding traditions.” Barty kissed his cheek.
“Yep,” Fred said leaning against Barty. “Pansy instructed me to come over here and make out with you.”
Remus coughed uncomfortably, Dora pat his hand reassuringly, “Come on, Remus, you can’t say you were any better at his age.” She smiled at Fred, watching him interact with Barty (primarily through fits of laughter). “They’re in love.”
“That’s all very well and good,” Remus said, blushing slightly. “But watching Fred try and…” he shook his head, smiling lightly, “He’s like family.”
“Remus,” Fred slurred. “I wouldn’t in front of you. I wanna go ruined this wedding.” He scratched his head, “Well, not ruin the whole thing…” he paused in mid-thought.
“Just spice up this bouquet disaster?” another ginger boy and his blonde date pulled chairs up to the table.
“Georgie!” Fred squealed with delight.
“Come on, Freddie. Let’s go see what we can do,” he pulled Fred into standing. “Let’s go bug Pansy.” He leaned down and kissed his date. “We’ll leave soon, I promise.” He pulled Fred out across the floor, listening to his twin ooh and awe.
The four at the table watched as the twins went to badger Pansy. Barty smiled warmly to Luna, “Leaving so soon? But you and George have been gone for two weeks and-“
“Two weeks and three days,” Luna smiled dreamily. “We’ve been quite busy. We were trekking through the Carpathian mountains studying the migration pattern of the Blue Horned Naf-“ She stopped to wait as Remus and Dora burst out into peels of laughter.
“Now, come on, you two,” Barty said sternly. “I’ve mentioned more farfetched subject matters than that and you took me seri-“
“Turn around,” Remus managed to cough out, pointing directly behind Barty. Barty turned around slowly and burst out laughing himself.
“That’s not-“
“Oh, yes it is-“
Barty got up and walked over to the rest of the crowd, which was also hysterically laughing.
“But I didn’t do it on purpose!” Fred said, his eyes wide in shock. “They’re not even on fire! Why would I bother?”
“Because you always bother when it comes to this sort of stuff,” Pansy said, pointing to his extended hands. “You planned it all out.”
“No way possibly, Pansy,” George struggled to stay standing. “Freddie’s a good actor, but that’s genuine shock.”
Barty walked over wiping tears from his eyes.
“Harry! Look! He’s so happy he’s crying!” Snape pointed excitedly.
“They’re going to be together forever,” Harry sobbed happily into Snape’s shoulder.
Barty walked up between Fred and Pansy, still laughing along with everyone else. “Fredrick, what a lovely bouquet you’ve acquired.”
“You think so?” Fred said, pointing the flowers at Pansy. “She says I’ve ruined everything.”
“Well, you have!” Pansy said, taking a step closer to Fred.
“I will have you know, Malfoy, that I will not be reading or reviewing your fanfiction anymore.”
“Good!” Pansy huffed. “I wasn’t planning on writing anymore anyway, Weasley.”
“Liar,” Fred slurred. “I bet you have a whole filing cabinet in your brain dedicated to us.”
“As if,” she rolled her eyes and rubbed her neck nervously. “You’re lucky that James and Lily could not wait to get out of here and on their honeymoon because Lily would probably rageblackout on you so hard-“
“As if,” Fred mocked Pansy. “Lily and I are Team Ginger. We’re fierce.”
“You wanna start with me about fierce, Fr-“
“Fredrick,” Barty took the bouquet from his hands and forcefully shoved them in Pansy’s face. “You do know what catching that bouquet is supposed to actually mean, right?”
Fred raised his eyebrow, “You’re not-“ He watched Barty bend down on one knee and smile.
“You know, together forever, we’ve said it ourselves, we’re gonna be together forever,” Barty bit his lip, trying to hide his massive grin. “So, Fredrick Gideon Weasley, want to make things official and traditional?”
Silence filled the reception hall up until Harry’s joyous sobs echoed from the walls.
Fred beamed and bent down, kissing Barty on the forehead, “Nope.”
The hall was filled with gasps and Harry’s agonized, pained crying. To everyone’s surprise, Barty and Fred remained grinning.
“Barty,” Fred said, cupping his face, “I got my suit fitted for the most important day of my life the first time I stepped into the TARDIS. I vowed I would never leave you. Never includes really fugly regenerations,” they laughed together, others joined in. “I cook for you, you clean for me. We bicker over stupid details no one cares about. You teach me about the universe, I teach you how to use kitchen appliances. You make me appletinis, I make you sonic screwdrivers. We have a daughter, a dog and the best friends we could ask for. Why get married when we have it perfect the way it is?”
The majority of the hormonal women in the hall and some hormonal men (Snape and Harry), were in tears. Barty stood up and scooped Fred up in his arms, laughing lightly, “You were right, Fredrick, Shakespeare really doesn’t have shit on you.”
“Oh my God,” Harry sighed. “They talk about Shakespeare together.”
Snape scrunched up his nose, “Do you think we should talk about Shakespeare?”
“Oh, no. Shakespeare’s no Stephanie Meyer.”
“Oh, Bella, my sweet honeypot, my Disney princess, my-“
“Take me, Edward.” Harry jumped into Snape’s lap and tackled him to the ground. Fred cheered from Barty’s arms some sort of cheer which, one could assume, Fred thought rhymed at the time.
George ran over to Barty and Fred, beaming out of control, “I’ll leave you to it, then.”
“When are you coming back, Georgie?” Fred asked, nuzzled up against Barty’s chest.
“Not sure,” George shrugged. “It’s not like I have a wife to come home to, so,” he shrugged again. “I might be gone a while. You’ve been telling me that I need to go on more adventures, Freddie - I’m taking your advice and having the time of my life.” He looked from Barty to Fred, “I see now why you keep him around - he can take you all sorts of places.”
“Yep, that and he’s really good at li-“
“I’ll take this as my cue to pop out,” George laughed. “I’ll write you soon, Freddie.”
Barty walked steadily with Fred singing some sort of song (a show tune, Barty figured, since Fred was changing his voice for each appropriate part) quietly. Barty beamed down at him, “What are you singing now, love?”
Fred drew in a deep breath, no longer singing quietly (more of a wail), “I cannot believe my eyes, is the world finally growing wise?”
Barty grinned and sang quietly, “But it’s plain to see rapture inside of me is on the rise.”
He clung tighter to Barty, “You sang.”
“I did, didn’t I?”
“You sang with me.”
“I do just about everything with you, Fredrick,” Barty opened the door to the TARDIS and carried him up to their room. “I’m surprised singing didn’t happen sooner.”
“You should sing more,” Fred rolled out of Barty’s arms and fell into the mound of cushions. “You have a very pretty voice.”
Barty climbed up on the bed and kissed Fred softly, “How about you keep singing and I’ll surprise you by joining in once in a while?”
“You never seem to not surprise me,” Fred cuddled closer to Barty.
“Which is why we really shouldn’t get married,” Barty smiled and pressed his smiling lips against Fred’s cheek. “No more surprises.”
“Well, there’s that and married people don’t ever have fun or sex or fun during sex,” Fred rambled.
“Are you, without outright asking, asking for sex right now, Fredrick?”
Fred rolled over and pushed Barty’s sleeve up and slowly licked his Dark Mark. His eyes darted from one side of the room to the other. “I’m too tired for crossing things off lists. Being poetic makes me lethargic.”
Barty laughed as he wrapped an arm around Fred, “Shall I tell you a story to help you fall asleep?”
“Yes, please.”
Barty squeezed Fred closer, “Once there was a planet with red grass instead of green…”
Characters: hp_capslock Fred Weasley, Barty Crouch Jr, George Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Astoria Greengrass, Cecilia, Pansy Parkinson, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Lily Evans, James Potter
Pairing: Barty/Fred, Remus/Dora, George/Luna, Snarry
Rating: PG
Synopsis: Probably how things would unfold if this ever came up in caps.
WC: 1688
“Attention desperate hos! Line up for the bouquet toss!” Pansy instructed, her voice booming across the reception hall. Lily smiled brightly at James, who mimed her beating women down with her flowers. She giggled and turned around, waiting for the appropriate time to throw.
“You’re going to ruin everything again, aren’t you?” Astoria smiled, lining up beside her sister.
“I’d rather he caught it than you, sis,” Daphne snorted. “I’d get to be a bridesmaid, right Fred?”
Fred laughed as he stood with the gaggle of hormonal women, “I’m here to go two for two at a Lily wedding I was alive to tarnish.” He sipped his appletini, “Can’t just go back on tradition, can I?”
“Oh Fred,” Cecilia sighed. “Why do you insist on ruining moments at weddings? Would you have done this if we got married?”
The drunk ginger snorted into his glass, “Absolutely.”
“Fred Weasley,” a sharp voice yelled. Fred giggled out of control and ducked behind Daphne and Bellatrix. Pansy walked behind Bellatrix and tapped her foot impatiently, “Fred Weasley, I am here to make sure you will not ruin this moment.”
“But why?” Fred whined, still huddled behind Bellatrix, clinging to her dress for stability.
“This is, basically, Biblical history in the making,” Pansy put her hand on her hips. “You, of all people, want to ruin a precious Biblical moment?” Pansy scoffed, “How dare you?”
Fred lifted himself to his feet, dusting off his black pinstripe suit, “Fine,” he said snapping his fingers in a sloppy z-formation. “I’m gonna go make out with my boyfriend now.”
“Yes,” Pansy nodded. “Please go do so. Make sure George gets a few good pictures for m- … for memories.”
The intoxicated male stumbled over to three people conversing at a table to the right of the dance floor. He fell into another pinstriped lap, giggling drunkenly. He bit his lip and snorted lightly with laughter, “Allo, love.”
Barty wrapped an arm around the drunken ginger, “Fredrick,” he smiled, “Remus and I were just discussing your need to spoil wedding traditions.” Barty kissed his cheek.
“Yep,” Fred said leaning against Barty. “Pansy instructed me to come over here and make out with you.”
Remus coughed uncomfortably, Dora pat his hand reassuringly, “Come on, Remus, you can’t say you were any better at his age.” She smiled at Fred, watching him interact with Barty (primarily through fits of laughter). “They’re in love.”
“That’s all very well and good,” Remus said, blushing slightly. “But watching Fred try and…” he shook his head, smiling lightly, “He’s like family.”
“Remus,” Fred slurred. “I wouldn’t in front of you. I wanna go ruined this wedding.” He scratched his head, “Well, not ruin the whole thing…” he paused in mid-thought.
“Just spice up this bouquet disaster?” another ginger boy and his blonde date pulled chairs up to the table.
“Georgie!” Fred squealed with delight.
“Come on, Freddie. Let’s go see what we can do,” he pulled Fred into standing. “Let’s go bug Pansy.” He leaned down and kissed his date. “We’ll leave soon, I promise.” He pulled Fred out across the floor, listening to his twin ooh and awe.
The four at the table watched as the twins went to badger Pansy. Barty smiled warmly to Luna, “Leaving so soon? But you and George have been gone for two weeks and-“
“Two weeks and three days,” Luna smiled dreamily. “We’ve been quite busy. We were trekking through the Carpathian mountains studying the migration pattern of the Blue Horned Naf-“ She stopped to wait as Remus and Dora burst out into peels of laughter.
“Now, come on, you two,” Barty said sternly. “I’ve mentioned more farfetched subject matters than that and you took me seri-“
“Turn around,” Remus managed to cough out, pointing directly behind Barty. Barty turned around slowly and burst out laughing himself.
“That’s not-“
“Oh, yes it is-“
Barty got up and walked over to the rest of the crowd, which was also hysterically laughing.
“But I didn’t do it on purpose!” Fred said, his eyes wide in shock. “They’re not even on fire! Why would I bother?”
“Because you always bother when it comes to this sort of stuff,” Pansy said, pointing to his extended hands. “You planned it all out.”
“No way possibly, Pansy,” George struggled to stay standing. “Freddie’s a good actor, but that’s genuine shock.”
Barty walked over wiping tears from his eyes.
“Harry! Look! He’s so happy he’s crying!” Snape pointed excitedly.
“They’re going to be together forever,” Harry sobbed happily into Snape’s shoulder.
Barty walked up between Fred and Pansy, still laughing along with everyone else. “Fredrick, what a lovely bouquet you’ve acquired.”
“You think so?” Fred said, pointing the flowers at Pansy. “She says I’ve ruined everything.”
“Well, you have!” Pansy said, taking a step closer to Fred.
“I will have you know, Malfoy, that I will not be reading or reviewing your fanfiction anymore.”
“Good!” Pansy huffed. “I wasn’t planning on writing anymore anyway, Weasley.”
“Liar,” Fred slurred. “I bet you have a whole filing cabinet in your brain dedicated to us.”
“As if,” she rolled her eyes and rubbed her neck nervously. “You’re lucky that James and Lily could not wait to get out of here and on their honeymoon because Lily would probably rageblackout on you so hard-“
“As if,” Fred mocked Pansy. “Lily and I are Team Ginger. We’re fierce.”
“You wanna start with me about fierce, Fr-“
“Fredrick,” Barty took the bouquet from his hands and forcefully shoved them in Pansy’s face. “You do know what catching that bouquet is supposed to actually mean, right?”
Fred raised his eyebrow, “You’re not-“ He watched Barty bend down on one knee and smile.
“You know, together forever, we’ve said it ourselves, we’re gonna be together forever,” Barty bit his lip, trying to hide his massive grin. “So, Fredrick Gideon Weasley, want to make things official and traditional?”
Silence filled the reception hall up until Harry’s joyous sobs echoed from the walls.
Fred beamed and bent down, kissing Barty on the forehead, “Nope.”
The hall was filled with gasps and Harry’s agonized, pained crying. To everyone’s surprise, Barty and Fred remained grinning.
“Barty,” Fred said, cupping his face, “I got my suit fitted for the most important day of my life the first time I stepped into the TARDIS. I vowed I would never leave you. Never includes really fugly regenerations,” they laughed together, others joined in. “I cook for you, you clean for me. We bicker over stupid details no one cares about. You teach me about the universe, I teach you how to use kitchen appliances. You make me appletinis, I make you sonic screwdrivers. We have a daughter, a dog and the best friends we could ask for. Why get married when we have it perfect the way it is?”
The majority of the hormonal women in the hall and some hormonal men (Snape and Harry), were in tears. Barty stood up and scooped Fred up in his arms, laughing lightly, “You were right, Fredrick, Shakespeare really doesn’t have shit on you.”
“Oh my God,” Harry sighed. “They talk about Shakespeare together.”
Snape scrunched up his nose, “Do you think we should talk about Shakespeare?”
“Oh, no. Shakespeare’s no Stephanie Meyer.”
“Oh, Bella, my sweet honeypot, my Disney princess, my-“
“Take me, Edward.” Harry jumped into Snape’s lap and tackled him to the ground. Fred cheered from Barty’s arms some sort of cheer which, one could assume, Fred thought rhymed at the time.
George ran over to Barty and Fred, beaming out of control, “I’ll leave you to it, then.”
“When are you coming back, Georgie?” Fred asked, nuzzled up against Barty’s chest.
“Not sure,” George shrugged. “It’s not like I have a wife to come home to, so,” he shrugged again. “I might be gone a while. You’ve been telling me that I need to go on more adventures, Freddie - I’m taking your advice and having the time of my life.” He looked from Barty to Fred, “I see now why you keep him around - he can take you all sorts of places.”
“Yep, that and he’s really good at li-“
“I’ll take this as my cue to pop out,” George laughed. “I’ll write you soon, Freddie.”
Barty walked steadily with Fred singing some sort of song (a show tune, Barty figured, since Fred was changing his voice for each appropriate part) quietly. Barty beamed down at him, “What are you singing now, love?”
Fred drew in a deep breath, no longer singing quietly (more of a wail), “I cannot believe my eyes, is the world finally growing wise?”
Barty grinned and sang quietly, “But it’s plain to see rapture inside of me is on the rise.”
He clung tighter to Barty, “You sang.”
“I did, didn’t I?”
“You sang with me.”
“I do just about everything with you, Fredrick,” Barty opened the door to the TARDIS and carried him up to their room. “I’m surprised singing didn’t happen sooner.”
“You should sing more,” Fred rolled out of Barty’s arms and fell into the mound of cushions. “You have a very pretty voice.”
Barty climbed up on the bed and kissed Fred softly, “How about you keep singing and I’ll surprise you by joining in once in a while?”
“You never seem to not surprise me,” Fred cuddled closer to Barty.
“Which is why we really shouldn’t get married,” Barty smiled and pressed his smiling lips against Fred’s cheek. “No more surprises.”
“Well, there’s that and married people don’t ever have fun or sex or fun during sex,” Fred rambled.
“Are you, without outright asking, asking for sex right now, Fredrick?”
Fred rolled over and pushed Barty’s sleeve up and slowly licked his Dark Mark. His eyes darted from one side of the room to the other. “I’m too tired for crossing things off lists. Being poetic makes me lethargic.”
Barty laughed as he wrapped an arm around Fred, “Shall I tell you a story to help you fall asleep?”
“Yes, please.”
Barty squeezed Fred closer, “Once there was a planet with red grass instead of green…”