(no subject)
So...hi there, LJ! It's nearing 3 am, we are driving to Spokane in the morning, are maybe 1/16th of the way packed for it. Ty is out working on Grimm and will be home ???. Should very much be asleep right now.
Mostly looking forward to the trip, and the one in a couple weeks up to Alaska, because it means we actually get to see Ty for more than an hour before everybody goes to bed, a relatively infrequent occurrence these past weeks. And he will likely be gone on an 8 day shoot at the end of the month. Not to be whiny because Lord knows I'm so grateful that we are able to keep ourselves afloat thanks to his hard work, and we do get some time now and again, but single parenting is HARD. For everybody involved. I find it difficult sometimes to not snap at him for not responding to Leo in a particular way or for getting frustrated when he hasn't had the chance to work out his own strategies for dealing with a willful almost 3 year old. And it's not like my own responses are perfect, either, but having had more practice it's easier for me to not get so angry right off the bat when the little guy loses his composure or does not want to do what we want him to do when we want him to do it. We have not gone the full Super Nanny though our recently introduced sticker chart/naughty chair combo is pretty effective and honestly having a schedule would probably help me out in not getting anxious over filling a gigantic swath of unstructured free time every day. I just do so much better at pretty much everything when Ty is around than when he isn't. And he hasn't been, and won't be, apart from our family trips this month. Need to summon whatever needs to be summoned to just get over it and be more independently functional.
Nursing school is going to bring massive changes, I'm hoping mostly for the good. Not being around other adult people pretty much ever has not been good for my confidence or happiness and Leo just craves conversation and social interaction. It is a marvel to me that he is absolutely at home everywhere and will try to strike up a conversation with nearly everyone he comes across. Preschool should be a great thing for him. He has come so incredibly far so quickly in the past year and a half, totally potty trained now, with a humongous vocabulary (humongous is one of his favorite words) and very fluent speech, extremely active, EXTREMELY social. It's a relief that having a withdrawn weepy wreck of a mom for his first couple of years didn't seem to damage him much at all, and hopefully some structured learning/social time will really help him flourish. Also hoping that peer pressure might help with the eating thing some, he's in good shape for weight gain and development but still drinks his calories. Feeding group is helping out some, but I feel like we've gone backwards in some ways--some of my favorite pictures are of him eating soft-serve at the state fair last year, melty ice cream all over his face, where now that same ice cream cone is greeted with a most tentative probing stuck-out tongue once or twice before he gets upset at it dripping (but can't bring himself to eat it, though he clearly wants it) ultimately leading to a screamy red-faced tearful disaster. Being around kids who eat their food without trauma could be a very good thing.
Looking forward to school in September for myself as well, as structure really does me a world of good, and in a totally unanticipated development I am very much looking forward to college Algebra. It was genuine magic taking math 95 and finding it understandable and logical, and incredibly satisfying to do well in something that I'd always put as outside of my grasp. I am not stupid at basic math, as it turns out, and am hoping that magic has stuck around for this next class because it felt AWESOME. Going to project confidence and positivity ahead into nursing school where I will rock my classes & make lots of friends.
Thanks for listening, LJ, I'm tired enough to maybe fall asleep now though still no husband. Just going to leave this rambling on a positive note. Sweet dreams!
Mostly looking forward to the trip, and the one in a couple weeks up to Alaska, because it means we actually get to see Ty for more than an hour before everybody goes to bed, a relatively infrequent occurrence these past weeks. And he will likely be gone on an 8 day shoot at the end of the month. Not to be whiny because Lord knows I'm so grateful that we are able to keep ourselves afloat thanks to his hard work, and we do get some time now and again, but single parenting is HARD. For everybody involved. I find it difficult sometimes to not snap at him for not responding to Leo in a particular way or for getting frustrated when he hasn't had the chance to work out his own strategies for dealing with a willful almost 3 year old. And it's not like my own responses are perfect, either, but having had more practice it's easier for me to not get so angry right off the bat when the little guy loses his composure or does not want to do what we want him to do when we want him to do it. We have not gone the full Super Nanny though our recently introduced sticker chart/naughty chair combo is pretty effective and honestly having a schedule would probably help me out in not getting anxious over filling a gigantic swath of unstructured free time every day. I just do so much better at pretty much everything when Ty is around than when he isn't. And he hasn't been, and won't be, apart from our family trips this month. Need to summon whatever needs to be summoned to just get over it and be more independently functional.
Nursing school is going to bring massive changes, I'm hoping mostly for the good. Not being around other adult people pretty much ever has not been good for my confidence or happiness and Leo just craves conversation and social interaction. It is a marvel to me that he is absolutely at home everywhere and will try to strike up a conversation with nearly everyone he comes across. Preschool should be a great thing for him. He has come so incredibly far so quickly in the past year and a half, totally potty trained now, with a humongous vocabulary (humongous is one of his favorite words) and very fluent speech, extremely active, EXTREMELY social. It's a relief that having a withdrawn weepy wreck of a mom for his first couple of years didn't seem to damage him much at all, and hopefully some structured learning/social time will really help him flourish. Also hoping that peer pressure might help with the eating thing some, he's in good shape for weight gain and development but still drinks his calories. Feeding group is helping out some, but I feel like we've gone backwards in some ways--some of my favorite pictures are of him eating soft-serve at the state fair last year, melty ice cream all over his face, where now that same ice cream cone is greeted with a most tentative probing stuck-out tongue once or twice before he gets upset at it dripping (but can't bring himself to eat it, though he clearly wants it) ultimately leading to a screamy red-faced tearful disaster. Being around kids who eat their food without trauma could be a very good thing.
Looking forward to school in September for myself as well, as structure really does me a world of good, and in a totally unanticipated development I am very much looking forward to college Algebra. It was genuine magic taking math 95 and finding it understandable and logical, and incredibly satisfying to do well in something that I'd always put as outside of my grasp. I am not stupid at basic math, as it turns out, and am hoping that magic has stuck around for this next class because it felt AWESOME. Going to project confidence and positivity ahead into nursing school where I will rock my classes & make lots of friends.
Thanks for listening, LJ, I'm tired enough to maybe fall asleep now though still no husband. Just going to leave this rambling on a positive note. Sweet dreams!