truths and lies, a bifauxgraphy
Below are 10 statements about me. Five of them are fabricated, and the other five are true. Whoever can guess which are truths and which are lies wins! Real life friends may or may not be eligible, depending.
Girls Aloud - Biology.
Please download this song. It's so freaking awesome.
Like a rabid chihuahua biting you in the behind, this is pop at its sassiest and frothiest and catchiest. It's like Mandy Moore (before she turned all actress starring in syrupy-ballads-in-the-form-of-movies on us) and Xtina Aguilera (before she turned all Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence on us) having a pillow fight while giggling. It's like you're 12 all over again and all your friends have graduated to Slam Books and dark lipstick and you still want to play Girl Talk and Electric Fashion Mall and watch Aladdin for the 26th time.
- I am going to be a father in 3 months via the artificial insemination of one-half of a lesbian couple I have never met living 2,000 miles away.
- I am a 3% royalty shareholder for the publishing rights to Digable Planets' Rebirth Of Slick (Cool Like Dat).
- I have had a pizza thrown at my face on the street by someone I did not know upon leaving a club after a night of bumpin' and grindin'. It was pepperoni and cheese.
- According to the government, I am legally disabled.
- In first grade, my classmates thought I was killed by a monster and for half a day, everyone who saw me thought I was an undead zombie until the nun intervened and beat me for perpetuating a blasphemous lie.
- I have not cried in front of somebody in over 10 years. The only times I have cried in the last 10 years have been while watching Oprah or movies about the Holocaust.
- I'm not a girl, not yet a woman.
- I have performed on stage at Showtime At The Apollo, being narrowly beaten by some skinny little black kid who did some bootsy ol' dance to I Need A Girl Remix Part 2 or some such nonsense.
- I own every single commercially-released CD single Madonna has ever released in the US.
- There are naked photos of me floating around the internet.
Girls Aloud - Biology.
Please download this song. It's so freaking awesome.
Like a rabid chihuahua biting you in the behind, this is pop at its sassiest and frothiest and catchiest. It's like Mandy Moore (before she turned all actress starring in syrupy-ballads-in-the-form-of-movies on us) and Xtina Aguilera (before she turned all Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence on us) having a pillow fight while giggling. It's like you're 12 all over again and all your friends have graduated to Slam Books and dark lipstick and you still want to play Girl Talk and Electric Fashion Mall and watch Aladdin for the 26th time.