good day l.a.
These past couple of weeks, I've been toting two chapsticks with me accidentally! They are the free ones I grabbed from the Travelocity booth at San Francisco Gay Pride a couple of months ago. They smell, taste and feel really good, Citrus Lip Balm. It's like having a Kool-Aid moustache without the Kool-Aid, so it's totally okay.
I went to LA last weekend with my Pops to go pick up my Momsicles. She's been there on vaca all summer I'm sure driving my oldest brother B-A-N-A-N-A-S with her suppressive matronly-ness that many Asian mothers are wont to do.
My brother has a nice little two bedroom flat, the only problem is, it's a block away from the "Bob Hope Airport" in Burbank, so y'all know I could hear the rumbling bass of a frikkin' Boeing all up in my grill three or more times every hour. You get used to it after a while, but man it was LOUD.
His bathroom sucked, too. I mean, really, it was obviously built for legless people! When I sat in the toilet, I literally had to cross my god dang legs. What's that all about, Alfie?!??
Reason # 58 Why Joshua Is The Way He Is:
This is my dad on the drive down to LA. He was too cheap to get transition lenses (which I highly DO NOT RECOMMEND for people my age who care about trendiness in any way) for his trifocals, so he bought a pair of $1.99 tacky sunglasses from, like, Walgreens or something, and then proceeded to wear them in conjunction with his glasses. My Personal Rainbow lost a color. :(
The highlight of my trip to LA?
Glimpsing upon, touching, caressing, then taking photographic evidence of the one star that really counted. I still feel a giddy kind of peace when I think back on it.
In looking at my friends list, I have determined that many of you harbor fetishes of old Asian people (if not so obviously, then [in vain] secretly). To celebrate this fact, and to turn a noun into a verb, I will now deluge you with pictures of my aging Asian parents in all their FOBy/Touristy glory! Gloreh! Well!
You know, take away the balding-ness (of BOTH my parents - Thanks for the genes, Mommy!) and the liver spots, and the wrinkles, and the gray hair, and the tacky old people clothing, and many, many, many years, and my parents would be no different from the youths of today!
Mama: Look where I'm pointing! LOOK. I said, Look! (Beats everyone with a broom handle until the broom handle breaks)
Papa: Lohan Lindsay ain't got nothing on my pose. (What? Chinese names are last name, first name always!)
Help! My mom's fallen and she can't get up!
UH OH GLAM POSE 2005! Work! Twerk! Being Asian, and extremely cheap, we decided to hang out outside of Universal Studios to partake in the Universal Studios experience.
Proof that my friends are not the only victims I subject to awkward/embarassing/lame poses.
I hate it when people act like they don't want to have pictures taken of them, and then they get all into it when you're snapping away. Yeah, me too! (Rolls eye)
As trickeration would so aptly put it, ALL LOOK SAME! I had a hard time finding myself here. Speaking of which, is it just me or do all the under-sevens look like they have Downe's?
I knew Spiderman was a fashion backwards superhero - what with his clashy powder blue and opaque fishnet red tights (hello - that totally went out with phone booths and sweat bands OMG!), but COME ON, a fanny pack?
Being with my parents in concentration for a whole weekend was not as horrific and torturous as I thought it was going to be. My mom nagged only at most 50% of the time (her stamina must be lagging - uh oh, more bokchoy mama!) and my dad laughed quite a lot at my jokes (Why did the abortion cross the road?). In conclusion, my parents are not as bad as they used to be. Thank Madonna! Praise!!!
I am glad Paula did not take the Midnight Train to Georgia 52 years ago. Also, I love how the shadows make my thighs look REALLY skinny. It's very thinspiring.
This next poll is inspired by my boyfriend's friend, and on jypsyq's suggestion.
Poll Blackanese
In fact, vote on a name AND make up your own! More fun for everyone!
I went to LA last weekend with my Pops to go pick up my Momsicles. She's been there on vaca all summer I'm sure driving my oldest brother B-A-N-A-N-A-S with her suppressive matronly-ness that many Asian mothers are wont to do.
My brother has a nice little two bedroom flat, the only problem is, it's a block away from the "Bob Hope Airport" in Burbank, so y'all know I could hear the rumbling bass of a frikkin' Boeing all up in my grill three or more times every hour. You get used to it after a while, but man it was LOUD.
His bathroom sucked, too. I mean, really, it was obviously built for legless people! When I sat in the toilet, I literally had to cross my god dang legs. What's that all about, Alfie?!??
Reason # 58 Why Joshua Is The Way He Is:
This is my dad on the drive down to LA. He was too cheap to get transition lenses (which I highly DO NOT RECOMMEND for people my age who care about trendiness in any way) for his trifocals, so he bought a pair of $1.99 tacky sunglasses from, like, Walgreens or something, and then proceeded to wear them in conjunction with his glasses. My Personal Rainbow lost a color. :(
The highlight of my trip to LA?
Glimpsing upon, touching, caressing, then taking photographic evidence of the one star that really counted. I still feel a giddy kind of peace when I think back on it.
In looking at my friends list, I have determined that many of you harbor fetishes of old Asian people (if not so obviously, then [in vain] secretly). To celebrate this fact, and to turn a noun into a verb, I will now deluge you with pictures of my aging Asian parents in all their FOBy/Touristy glory! Gloreh! Well!
You know, take away the balding-ness (of BOTH my parents - Thanks for the genes, Mommy!) and the liver spots, and the wrinkles, and the gray hair, and the tacky old people clothing, and many, many, many years, and my parents would be no different from the youths of today!
Mama: Look where I'm pointing! LOOK. I said, Look! (Beats everyone with a broom handle until the broom handle breaks)
Papa: Lohan Lindsay ain't got nothing on my pose. (What? Chinese names are last name, first name always!)
Help! My mom's fallen and she can't get up!
UH OH GLAM POSE 2005! Work! Twerk! Being Asian, and extremely cheap, we decided to hang out outside of Universal Studios to partake in the Universal Studios experience.
Proof that my friends are not the only victims I subject to awkward/embarassing/lame poses.
I hate it when people act like they don't want to have pictures taken of them, and then they get all into it when you're snapping away. Yeah, me too! (Rolls eye)
As trickeration would so aptly put it, ALL LOOK SAME! I had a hard time finding myself here. Speaking of which, is it just me or do all the under-sevens look like they have Downe's?
I knew Spiderman was a fashion backwards superhero - what with his clashy powder blue and opaque fishnet red tights (hello - that totally went out with phone booths and sweat bands OMG!), but COME ON, a fanny pack?
Being with my parents in concentration for a whole weekend was not as horrific and torturous as I thought it was going to be. My mom nagged only at most 50% of the time (her stamina must be lagging - uh oh, more bokchoy mama!) and my dad laughed quite a lot at my jokes (Why did the abortion cross the road?). In conclusion, my parents are not as bad as they used to be. Thank Madonna! Praise!!!
I am glad Paula did not take the Midnight Train to Georgia 52 years ago. Also, I love how the shadows make my thighs look REALLY skinny. It's very thinspiring.
This next poll is inspired by my boyfriend's friend, and on jypsyq's suggestion.
Poll Blackanese
In fact, vote on a name AND make up your own! More fun for everyone!