even better omens
So, judging by my last entry, I've got to post the entire text of Good Omens here. When I spell check I also usually edit grammar. Oh, well. Anyway. I am consumed with jealousy that Sîan has both the signature of Terry Pratchett and the signature of Neil the Archnerd actually inscribed upon the book itself. That sounds like it should be the final step required in fulfilling some ancient prophecy, no? "And in the final days of the years of the Idiot King, the fairest folk shall fade and vanish from their darkened halls as the moon fades before the setting sun. Then shall the flames of the last dragon be quenched. Then, too, shall the Archnerd and the Pratchett ride forth and join together, and they shall sign the final tome (no pictures!), and thus the days of Geekdom shall begin!" Yeah, maybe not. And I guess the book was written in the days of the other Idiot King, so that doesn't even work out right. You know, I read Good Omens for the first time when I was sixteen and going through a crisis of faith - I was actually considering attending a Christian college at the time. Actually, to be fair, I was mostly considering it because it had a campus that was entirely indoors, but can you imagine what would've happened if I'd gone there? Auugh! Reading Good Omens helped me cleanse myself of the impulse to identify some sort of cogent cosmic philosophy at work behind the random events that comprise reality, and also of the compulsion to practice and/or respect any form of organized religion. It was very freeing. [Really! It was! Shut up!]
But I missed the gay.
I don't really know how I did that. I tend to be very into fictional gayness, especially among male characters. My interpretation of most manga, books, etc. is generally something along these lines:
ME: I think he's gay. [ *pointing to a random male character in a manga panel* ]
OTHER PERSON: [ *looking* ] Um, the main character?
ME: Well, yes, but I meant him. [ *point* ]
OP: Uh, the main character's best friend?
ME: Well, obviously he's gay, but I meant him. [ *point* ]
OP: Er! You mean the supporting guy with the hot girlfriend?
ME: He's totally gay, but I meant him. [ *point* ] In the crowd scene.
OP: [ *confused* ] You mean the guy who drives the car?
ME: Well he's gay, of course he's gay, but I meant HIM. [ *point* ]
OP: [ *looking more closely* ] Who? That guy back there?
Me: Yes! All the way in the back!
OP: ...Um. I don't think that's a guy. I think that's an ink smear.
ME: Well. It's a gay ink smear.
There's just gay men popping up all over in every fictional work, as far as I tell. Actually, I'm sure that very few of these characters are actually intended to even be of ambiguous sexuality, but doing this makes things marginally more interesting for me and also really annoys people, so I persist in my delusions. You'd think I'd have seen Good Omens coming, even back then. What with the fact that everyone who meets Crowley and Aziraphale thinks they're gay; the way they think they're gay; the way they try to die holding hands; the way the narrator(s) refer(s) to them near the end of the book as "the couple with the bottle [of wine]..." How did I miss it? I'm so ashamed!
Anyway. This is almost a book-length text. I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO WITHOUT MY IMAC. I TRIED TO START PHOTOSHOP UP ON THIS COMPUTER AND IT FROZE SO SOLIDLY I HAD TO UNPLUG IT. [ *SOB* ]
Um. Um. Does anyone know who's narrating Good Omens? I seemed to have the feeling that it was God, for some reason, when I was reading it as an adolescent, but on returning I can't even figure out why I'd thought that. Maybe it was the pot fumes baking off my friends' clothes. Anyway. Is it supposed to be Aziraphale and Crowley? Pratchett and the Archnerd? Anyone know?
[This post came from my old, now-deleted Wordpress blog. I've disabled comments on this entry, but if something here really bothers you, just go ahead and comment about it on a more recent post. I was pretty bad about responding to comments on the old blog, but I want to thank everyone who went to the trouble to leave me their opinion back then - especially nokiirat and fabulous_papaya.]
But I missed the gay.
I don't really know how I did that. I tend to be very into fictional gayness, especially among male characters. My interpretation of most manga, books, etc. is generally something along these lines:
ME: I think he's gay. [ *pointing to a random male character in a manga panel* ]
OTHER PERSON: [ *looking* ] Um, the main character?
ME: Well, yes, but I meant him. [ *point* ]
OP: Uh, the main character's best friend?
ME: Well, obviously he's gay, but I meant him. [ *point* ]
OP: Er! You mean the supporting guy with the hot girlfriend?
ME: He's totally gay, but I meant him. [ *point* ] In the crowd scene.
OP: [ *confused* ] You mean the guy who drives the car?
ME: Well he's gay, of course he's gay, but I meant HIM. [ *point* ]
OP: [ *looking more closely* ] Who? That guy back there?
Me: Yes! All the way in the back!
OP: ...Um. I don't think that's a guy. I think that's an ink smear.
ME: Well. It's a gay ink smear.
There's just gay men popping up all over in every fictional work, as far as I tell. Actually, I'm sure that very few of these characters are actually intended to even be of ambiguous sexuality, but doing this makes things marginally more interesting for me and also really annoys people, so I persist in my delusions. You'd think I'd have seen Good Omens coming, even back then. What with the fact that everyone who meets Crowley and Aziraphale thinks they're gay; the way they think they're gay; the way they try to die holding hands; the way the narrator(s) refer(s) to them near the end of the book as "the couple with the bottle [of wine]..." How did I miss it? I'm so ashamed!
Anyway. This is almost a book-length text. I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO WITHOUT MY IMAC. I TRIED TO START PHOTOSHOP UP ON THIS COMPUTER AND IT FROZE SO SOLIDLY I HAD TO UNPLUG IT. [ *SOB* ]
Um. Um. Does anyone know who's narrating Good Omens? I seemed to have the feeling that it was God, for some reason, when I was reading it as an adolescent, but on returning I can't even figure out why I'd thought that. Maybe it was the pot fumes baking off my friends' clothes. Anyway. Is it supposed to be Aziraphale and Crowley? Pratchett and the Archnerd? Anyone know?
[This post came from my old, now-deleted Wordpress blog. I've disabled comments on this entry, but if something here really bothers you, just go ahead and comment about it on a more recent post. I was pretty bad about responding to comments on the old blog, but I want to thank everyone who went to the trouble to leave me their opinion back then - especially nokiirat and fabulous_papaya.]