shot down again. . . . .
its my fault though. . . . . gerrr!!!
i always seem to pass up a good thing every time im handed one
and then if i relize it and try to go for it. . .its alredy to late.
im getting used to it though, i seem to do it alot. so i guess its not as bad as i think it is.
is this some kind of defence mechanism that i subconscously use to keep from getting hurt?
it just seems like im hurting myself.
and everytime i do get with someone i always seem to find some reason to run away or breakup, only to have them not talking to me anymore or me regretting pushing them away.
another thing i do is i seem to settle for alot when deep down i know i deserve better. be it guys, jobs, or whatever.
so i seem to push all the roses from my life only to settle for a pile of shit.
why?
dose that make sence?
ahhhhh!!! whatever!
its just npt been a good month i guess.
i crashed my van on the 15th and now for the first time sence i was 16, . . . im carless.
and i only have till the 15th of may to finish school and im still really behind(my fault for being lazy. . .gerr). im really worried that im not going to finish!
and on top of that, god damn jostens sent me the wrong cap and gown for graduation! they got the size right but the colers are wrong! WTF?
ok enough bitchin. gerr . . .my updates should be more happy!
sorry guys. next one will be better. promise.
late*
~RyaN*
i always seem to pass up a good thing every time im handed one
and then if i relize it and try to go for it. . .its alredy to late.
im getting used to it though, i seem to do it alot. so i guess its not as bad as i think it is.
is this some kind of defence mechanism that i subconscously use to keep from getting hurt?
it just seems like im hurting myself.
and everytime i do get with someone i always seem to find some reason to run away or breakup, only to have them not talking to me anymore or me regretting pushing them away.
another thing i do is i seem to settle for alot when deep down i know i deserve better. be it guys, jobs, or whatever.
so i seem to push all the roses from my life only to settle for a pile of shit.
why?
dose that make sence?
ahhhhh!!! whatever!
its just npt been a good month i guess.
i crashed my van on the 15th and now for the first time sence i was 16, . . . im carless.
and i only have till the 15th of may to finish school and im still really behind(my fault for being lazy. . .gerr). im really worried that im not going to finish!
and on top of that, god damn jostens sent me the wrong cap and gown for graduation! they got the size right but the colers are wrong! WTF?
ok enough bitchin. gerr . . .my updates should be more happy!
sorry guys. next one will be better. promise.
late*
~RyaN*