LHC I am disappoint.
Large Hadron Collider to shut down for a year
Yes, once again everyone's favourite malfunctioning instant-death machine has thrown another hissy-fit and demands to go off-line for a year. Controllers at CERN's headquarters in Geneva are reported to have tried ctrl+alt+del, opening task-manager, disabling Norton Anti-Matter and then frustratedly swearing at it. They have been left with no other options but to unplug it from the mains and let it cool down for a bit. Afterwards they'll be forced to make a cup of tea and then use the telephone to get even angrier with a tech-support call-centre worker in Bangalore.
Such is the life of a Quantum Mechanic.
One of these is a simulation of what a Higgs Boson might look like, the other is the Map from Terry Gilliam's 1981 film Time Bandits. Coincidence?
Meanwhile, extending throughout the sub-atomic fields, our ever elusive particle continues to evade capture, merrily twining itself through the very fabric of the universe while singing "Run, Run, as fast as you can run; You can't catch me, I'm the Higgs-Boson".
However rumours of a secret Particle Accelerator in the United States to rival the LHC continue to grow. It is alleged this project, funded by private sector investors, is using the sub-atomic findings in the commercial market to sell shaving equipment which very-slightly twists the fabric of reality. Gillette use this to fit as many blades onto one razor as is physically possible without accidentally bringing about Kelvin's heat-death of the universe. As this video shall show, Gillette are now at the forefront of Subatomic Research:
It is rumoured that Gillette already have achieved successful low-risk time-dilation experiments, correctly predicting scandals of celebrities. Tiger Woods' sex scandal was correctly predicted, as was Thierry Henry's 'hand of god' against the Irish. Roger Federer's wave-function is expected to collapse in June 2010, forcing him to undergo a spontaneous massive existence-failure as an unseen side-effect of these dangerous experiments.
Gillette are also performing experiments as to how expensive they can sell their razors without their customers going bankrupt. The latest figures are that a standard 8-pack of blades will set you back £19.05 in Boots, a figure described as "A fucking pisstake" by me.
(My previous LHC entries are Here and Here. Reposted because I can)
Yes, once again everyone's favourite malfunctioning instant-death machine has thrown another hissy-fit and demands to go off-line for a year. Controllers at CERN's headquarters in Geneva are reported to have tried ctrl+alt+del, opening task-manager, disabling Norton Anti-Matter and then frustratedly swearing at it. They have been left with no other options but to unplug it from the mains and let it cool down for a bit. Afterwards they'll be forced to make a cup of tea and then use the telephone to get even angrier with a tech-support call-centre worker in Bangalore.
Such is the life of a Quantum Mechanic.
One of these is a simulation of what a Higgs Boson might look like, the other is the Map from Terry Gilliam's 1981 film Time Bandits. Coincidence?
Meanwhile, extending throughout the sub-atomic fields, our ever elusive particle continues to evade capture, merrily twining itself through the very fabric of the universe while singing "Run, Run, as fast as you can run; You can't catch me, I'm the Higgs-Boson".
However rumours of a secret Particle Accelerator in the United States to rival the LHC continue to grow. It is alleged this project, funded by private sector investors, is using the sub-atomic findings in the commercial market to sell shaving equipment which very-slightly twists the fabric of reality. Gillette use this to fit as many blades onto one razor as is physically possible without accidentally bringing about Kelvin's heat-death of the universe. As this video shall show, Gillette are now at the forefront of Subatomic Research:
Click to viewIt is rumoured that Gillette already have achieved successful low-risk time-dilation experiments, correctly predicting scandals of celebrities. Tiger Woods' sex scandal was correctly predicted, as was Thierry Henry's 'hand of god' against the Irish. Roger Federer's wave-function is expected to collapse in June 2010, forcing him to undergo a spontaneous massive existence-failure as an unseen side-effect of these dangerous experiments.
Gillette are also performing experiments as to how expensive they can sell their razors without their customers going bankrupt. The latest figures are that a standard 8-pack of blades will set you back £19.05 in Boots, a figure described as "A fucking pisstake" by me.
(My previous LHC entries are Here and Here. Reposted because I can)