Need a pick me up...
I'm still struggling with day to day life and the things I need to do. I'm not sure how long to let this go without deciding it's not normal grief or perhaps seeking some sort of 'natural' aide to help me through it. I will not seek medication....but a trip to the natural health store may be in order. We happen to have a certificate for one of their 'wellness consultations'....which means I fill out a massive detailed form and their consultants read over it, meet together and make recommendations on how to naturally treat whatever is ailing me. The miscarriage was three weeks ago today. I suppose at this time what I'm feeling could still be considered normal but I don't want it to get out of hand.
On another note..... I desperately want to start writing again. Of course that's been my wish for almost three years ago. Three years ago I was working on a manuscript that was meant to be a young adult novel about the discoveries a young girl makes about herself while keeping a journal for a high school psychology course. I have two manuscripts finished.... they are chapter books for young middle grades. I sent out a few query letters at the time but not many....just never found time to research publishers...was about to do that when life just totally changed on a dime..... I guess at this point it would be good to perhaps relook at those and polish them up a bit...start researching publishers again but I think I'd rather start with something new.... I'm not sure. And I don't know where I would find the time to do so anyway. But still the wish to write is still at the back of my mind. I guess the first thing to do is see how long I can keep up with journaling here. If I can't even do that then I guess I have no business dragging out old manuscripts or starting new ones. This only takes minutes out of my day but that would or at least should take more. But first I need to figure out the first problem above....find the energy or motivation just to do daily tasks without it feeling like a 50 ton lead weight is on my shoulders and fighting the urge to crawl back into bed at each waking moment. Find a way to appreciate all the good things in life(and I do know how many there are) without feeling sad about them too. Find a way to smile again longer than 3 seconds. Find a way to pray again without it just being rote words..... Yes, that is what I need to figure out first.
On another note..... I desperately want to start writing again. Of course that's been my wish for almost three years ago. Three years ago I was working on a manuscript that was meant to be a young adult novel about the discoveries a young girl makes about herself while keeping a journal for a high school psychology course. I have two manuscripts finished.... they are chapter books for young middle grades. I sent out a few query letters at the time but not many....just never found time to research publishers...was about to do that when life just totally changed on a dime..... I guess at this point it would be good to perhaps relook at those and polish them up a bit...start researching publishers again but I think I'd rather start with something new.... I'm not sure. And I don't know where I would find the time to do so anyway. But still the wish to write is still at the back of my mind. I guess the first thing to do is see how long I can keep up with journaling here. If I can't even do that then I guess I have no business dragging out old manuscripts or starting new ones. This only takes minutes out of my day but that would or at least should take more. But first I need to figure out the first problem above....find the energy or motivation just to do daily tasks without it feeling like a 50 ton lead weight is on my shoulders and fighting the urge to crawl back into bed at each waking moment. Find a way to appreciate all the good things in life(and I do know how many there are) without feeling sad about them too. Find a way to smile again longer than 3 seconds. Find a way to pray again without it just being rote words..... Yes, that is what I need to figure out first.