I ain't read none of your FB comments following this, so apologies if a lot of what I've said has been said by better/ faster/ more articulate people on the Facebook.
OK, my take on all your stuff above is this:
It appears to my brain that in order for you to Feel More Happy, there are two main options to achieve this:
1. Change your body to one that makes your brain happy. 2. Change your brain to think your body is happy.
Now then, from things you have said above ("both fatness and frumpiness should be considered awesome ", "my body is not the problem. The way I feel about my body is the problem") and ("Diet is Not The Answer", "Cardio exercise is Not The Answer"), I get the impression that number 1 possibly isn't the better option of the two. Because your physical body isn't a size, shape, or condition that is worth your angst, nor are the things that are most effective in changing body shapes attractive to you.
So, no. 1 - OUT.
(I also am not in favour of no. 1, for basically, all the same reasons as you, above - your body is awesome. No, really, your body is AWESOME, and also cardio can go eat a shit.)
Now, then, no. 2 is something that is, I believe, attainable.
OK, so some personal anecdotal stuffs now:
Between the months of Jan and Sept 2012, I went through Some Ugly Crap, and gained about 3 stone of weight. That's 1 stone every 3 months. By September and when my new job started, I found out that I couldn't fit in to 90% of my clothes, and was too poor to buy any new ones. I became very very body negative.
My thought processes mirrored much of what you wrote above, almost exactly, on a loop, over and over, for weeks and weeks. I hated cardio, but couldn't carry on being fat, I felt maybe more flattering clothes would make me feel better, but couldn't quite bring myself to buy the size 22/24 clothes I now needed.
Many different things helped me not think like that any more.
- People (Fit people. People who do exercise, and are trim and hot and stuff) convinced me that it was OK not to like cardio. That there are different, other things I can do. (Update: I still do none of these things)
- TUMBLR. OK, not being paid by them or anything, but there is A LOT of social justice/ non-fat-shaming/ non-slut-shaming/ feminist GOOD STUFFS on Tumblr. Here are two that are about fat-positivity:
These blogs really help me, and here is why: it's not that seeing lots of fat bodies on my dash makes seeing my fat body any easier. I mean, it does, but that's not why it has helped me in my body-positivity. It's seeing so many other women, many of whom bigger than me, being photographed HAPPY in their bodies. Speaking out so strongly about their bodies. Taking no shit about their bodies. Their happiness and acceptance of their bodies is what helps me with my body image. These blogs also give me confidence not to be restricted by what is on the high street, and a lot of help on the kind of styles or flattering clothes which look good on a bigger body.
- Buying new clothes. So, I eventually sucked it up, got paid, and bought more clothes. And when you're not wearing clothes that are not uncomfortable, it helps a whole bunch (at least, it helps me).
OK, so, in short, my brain has changed from "Oh my God, I'm so fat now MUST LOSE WEIGHT IMMEDIATELY" to "Yeah. This is my body. If I want to lose weight, tone up, get fitter, then that's fine. But regardless of that, and even if I don't, my body is my body, and it is pretty awesome." mainly because of the three points above.
Hap.
p.s. Last word on exercise: weightlifting is frickin awesome, relatively easy, and makes you feel like a fucking buffalo. Otherwise, it is very possible that there *is* some exercise out there that you may like. For instance, I go Ceroc dancing, and I love it, and sure, it's not, like, a WORK OUT, but it gets my heart rate up and sweating, so it's gotta be some good, right? :)
I have nothing really to say except that I heart bigtime eveything you said, and your links are gonna be amazingly helpful. It's also just, y'know, good to know that people I love and respect have got the same kind of shit going on, cos then I don't do the whole circular thing about blaming myself for making myself feel bad in the first place, heh.
I ain't read none of your FB comments following this, so apologies if a lot of what I've said has been said by better/ faster/ more articulate people on the Facebook.
OK, my take on all your stuff above is this:
It appears to my brain that in order for you to Feel More Happy, there are two main options to achieve this:
1. Change your body to one that makes your brain happy.
2. Change your brain to think your body is happy.
Now then, from things you have said above ("both fatness and frumpiness should be considered awesome ", "my body is not the problem. The way I feel about my body is the problem") and ("Diet is Not The Answer", "Cardio exercise is Not The Answer"), I get the impression that number 1 possibly isn't the better option of the two. Because your physical body isn't a size, shape, or condition that is worth your angst, nor are the things that are most effective in changing body shapes attractive to you.
So, no. 1 - OUT.
(I also am not in favour of no. 1, for basically, all the same reasons as you, above - your body is awesome. No, really, your body is AWESOME, and also cardio can go eat a shit.)
Now, then, no. 2 is something that is, I believe, attainable.
OK, so some personal anecdotal stuffs now:
Between the months of Jan and Sept 2012, I went through Some Ugly Crap, and gained about 3 stone of weight. That's 1 stone every 3 months. By September and when my new job started, I found out that I couldn't fit in to 90% of my clothes, and was too poor to buy any new ones. I became very very body negative.
My thought processes mirrored much of what you wrote above, almost exactly, on a loop, over and over, for weeks and weeks. I hated cardio, but couldn't carry on being fat, I felt maybe more flattering clothes would make me feel better, but couldn't quite bring myself to buy the size 22/24 clothes I now needed.
Many different things helped me not think like that any more.
- People (Fit people. People who do exercise, and are trim and hot and stuff) convinced me that it was OK not to like cardio. That there are different, other things I can do. (Update: I still do none of these things)
- TUMBLR. OK, not being paid by them or anything, but there is A LOT of social justice/ non-fat-shaming/ non-slut-shaming/ feminist GOOD STUFFS on Tumblr.
Here are two that are about fat-positivity:
http://redefiningbodyimage.tumblr.com/
http://fuckyeahfatpositive.tumblr.com/
These blogs really help me, and here is why: it's not that seeing lots of fat bodies on my dash makes seeing my fat body any easier. I mean, it does, but that's not why it has helped me in my body-positivity. It's seeing so many other women, many of whom bigger than me, being photographed HAPPY in their bodies. Speaking out so strongly about their bodies. Taking no shit about their bodies. Their happiness and acceptance of their bodies is what helps me with my body image. These blogs also give me confidence not to be restricted by what is on the high street, and a lot of help on the kind of styles or flattering clothes which look good on a bigger body.
Here is another one that's also good:
http://thisisthinprivilege.tumblr.com/
- Buying new clothes. So, I eventually sucked it up, got paid, and bought more clothes. And when you're not wearing clothes that are not uncomfortable, it helps a whole bunch (at least, it helps me).
OK, so, in short, my brain has changed from "Oh my God, I'm so fat now MUST LOSE WEIGHT IMMEDIATELY" to "Yeah. This is my body. If I want to lose weight, tone up, get fitter, then that's fine. But regardless of that, and even if I don't, my body is my body, and it is pretty awesome." mainly because of the three points above.
Hap.
p.s. Last word on exercise: weightlifting is frickin awesome, relatively easy, and makes you feel like a fucking buffalo. Otherwise, it is very possible that there *is* some exercise out there that you may like. For instance, I go Ceroc dancing, and I love it, and sure, it's not, like, a WORK OUT, but it gets my heart rate up and sweating, so it's gotta be some good, right? :)
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