the most poignant thing i've seen about the state of the union.

Nov 15, 2004 19:48

THE TRAGEDY OF TODAY'S GAYS ( Read more... )

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pseydtonne November 16 2004, 05:03:12 UTC
I have just finished reading this and I'm still absorbing. I don't know what to say because this is large, lyrical and deeper than I let myself get. This makes me think what a wuss I am for having no idea how to help. I'm bi but I'm not interesting to most men so I don't bother thinking about it much.

I have a chair that belonged to my friend Punkin. It has curved wooden arms that swing out from a back slat, a black padded seat and sharp metal corners. It's a chair with a lot more class than I have. Everyone else sits in this chair, get uncomfy from its unpadded arms and odd back support and gets out of it. I sit in it and I feel right. I sit and think about Punkin, how he died from AIDS. I mull his words, his life, his pursuit.

I'm crappy at being gay. I'm not all that great and being straight, I've learned. If I didn't like cuddling and sex so much, I'd probably be an agnostic monk. I'd sit half-lotus at subway stations contemplating the potential and execution of a moral world without a Bible. Then I remember that I did a lot of that anyway when I was a temp and how unhappy I was.

I want to connect more with the side of me that likes boys but I don't have the physique boys like. Girls are more tolerant of the panda shape. Then again, most girls don't get my record collection and I'm back to sitting alone in my apartment.

The right wing doesn't like me. I am a mongrel with pedigree. I will think out an issue until I've come to a new conclusion instead of the conclusion someone wants. However, that also means the Left rejects me, too.

How can I help? I miss having something to say besides "what am I doing?"

This speech gives me a lot to think about. I miss you, dude.

-too close to the closet, Dante

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orpheusrabbit November 16 2004, 05:20:05 UTC
the immensity of the task before us is paralyzing to almost all of us, for at least some of the time. as a person living as a gay man, who has had way too much unprotected sex and has done more than my fair share of partying with various drugs and dancing the day away at circuit parties, this speech left me feeling cowed and ashamed. but that's its job.

it's probably true, that our enemies have spent every day for thirty-five years working to make the gains they've achieved--but i refuse to believe that they have not had some fun along the way, fun for its own sake, whether to remind themselves that they're alive or to revel in the things which they possess and we probably don't. so there has to be a middle ground, a way to fight and to dance in the same day...

i'm glad i got a copy of this speech emailed to me. and i'm glad there are forums like LJ available to me so i can keep spreading it. and i'm glad there are people out there like you reading it, dante.

we CAN all help each other reach this goal. we are right now, in some small way.

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