Ah, Food Network, how I love thee...
Yes, I realise how shameful it is that this frivolity is my first post in almost a year; I promise to offer an actual update on my life soon, for anyone who's still paying attention to this poor, dusty blog of mine.
Anyway, I've been following The Next Food Network Star as of late, and one exchange struck me as particularly comical. The backstory here is that Kevin's "culinary theme" is bringing romance into the kitchen - his mantra is the faintly inane "Eat well, drink well, love well, live well," which seems content to sacrifice meaning for the sake of catchy repetition. Truthfully, seeing him go was bittersweet; it was amusing watching him try to infuse "romance" into ingredients that aren't lustful in the slightest. To wit:
"My dish is honey-glazed figs with mozzarella crostini. It represents my culinary point-of-view, being a single guy who likes to date, and romance, and hopefully one day fall in love. I think the crostini is sexy."
To which his teammate Jeffrey replies (albeit to the camera), in perfect deadpan:
"I have no idea what is romantic about a crostini."
Later, during the judging, Bobby Flay asks Kevin whether the dish fits into his romantic theme at all. Though he does look a bit dazed, his response is another indication that he's drunk his own Kool-Aid:
"Absolutely. Fun, fresh ingredients but with a nice creative, sexy, romantic twist."
"Wh-what was the romantic twist?"
"Uh, just using figs... and the honey... and the fresh mozzarella..."
Needless to say, the judges were unmoved by this stunning use of reason.
[Exit Orpheum.]