Dear Diary, it's been a while.
This is a good place to gravitate to when I really need to write, have a lot of responses and communiques to work on, but can't quite seem to get started.
Things have been mostly up but the downs are intimidating.
knocking off lists, biking, cooking, being outside, and planning all feel really good.
but
multiple traffic tickets, foodstamp uncertainty and corporate scrutiny all make me really anxious.
at least the inquisition at work is over.
"So these drawers you don't use that often, you verify them every week or so, right?"
"uhm, I verify them every day.."
"good answer, that was a trick question"
"heh..oh good.."
OGODWHATHEFUCK.
I don't even want to get into the other stuff. I'll be glad in a couple weeks when both are over and I can deal with the results of each.
Looking forward to doing a weekend in September and hoping that coupled with the fundraiser show and working on the 7" will boost everyone's spirits about the band. I still have highly unrealistic expectations and I refuse to let our current setbacks be what stop us from reaching our goals. or maybe they're just my goals? that might be worth pondering..
I'm intensely looking forward to (and appropriately anxious about) spending the upcoming weekend with this wonderful girl.
Eating, drinking, wedding and finally getting to meet all her friends. A change of pace but an always welcome opportunity to spend more time together. This is one in a string of endless examples of how unexpected this summer is and has been, I'd never have seen any of this coming.
Bill Crate just interrupted my pause/daydreaming of places in the United States with a phone call from downstairs.
"What's in the jar on the top shelf of the fridge that looks like coke or soy sauce? I got about 3/4 though drinking it before I realized it was neither of those."
"You mean my coffee??"
"oh...well it tasted disgusting."
why DO I believe everything?
these are things I don't remember but need to. my personal time-line is so blurred. godDAMN you Florida for stealing my book of good memories and impressing so many bloodless BAD ones.
write it out.
write it down.
drink black coffee.
stare at the wall.
Things have been mostly up but the downs are intimidating.
knocking off lists, biking, cooking, being outside, and planning all feel really good.
but
multiple traffic tickets, foodstamp uncertainty and corporate scrutiny all make me really anxious.
at least the inquisition at work is over.
"So these drawers you don't use that often, you verify them every week or so, right?"
"uhm, I verify them every day.."
"good answer, that was a trick question"
"heh..oh good.."
OGODWHATHEFUCK.
I don't even want to get into the other stuff. I'll be glad in a couple weeks when both are over and I can deal with the results of each.
Looking forward to doing a weekend in September and hoping that coupled with the fundraiser show and working on the 7" will boost everyone's spirits about the band. I still have highly unrealistic expectations and I refuse to let our current setbacks be what stop us from reaching our goals. or maybe they're just my goals? that might be worth pondering..
I'm intensely looking forward to (and appropriately anxious about) spending the upcoming weekend with this wonderful girl.
Eating, drinking, wedding and finally getting to meet all her friends. A change of pace but an always welcome opportunity to spend more time together. This is one in a string of endless examples of how unexpected this summer is and has been, I'd never have seen any of this coming.
Bill Crate just interrupted my pause/daydreaming of places in the United States with a phone call from downstairs.
"What's in the jar on the top shelf of the fridge that looks like coke or soy sauce? I got about 3/4 though drinking it before I realized it was neither of those."
"You mean my coffee??"
"oh...well it tasted disgusting."
why DO I believe everything?
these are things I don't remember but need to. my personal time-line is so blurred. godDAMN you Florida for stealing my book of good memories and impressing so many bloodless BAD ones.
write it out.
write it down.
drink black coffee.
stare at the wall.