(no subject)
i am SO excited to be leaving.
i'm turning a page in my life.
losing ryan effected me more than i could have ever imagined. i completely fell apart. completely. i just need to get re-focused on my life and my future. i start cal state in the fall and i need to get in gear and start taking life a little more seriously.
just because i am leaving does NOT mean i am running from my problems and that they are just going to macically dissappear. some people have been giving me shit for leaving. but i'm leaving because 1. i need a break from work (i work SIX days a week and my job is SO stressful!) 2. i miss my family 3. i just need time off to think.read.write.etc. whats so wrong with THAT?
i feel like i can't grow as a person if i go to the same job day after day, see the same people day after day, and do the same things day after day. i need a change of scenery, thats all. if you don't want to support what i am doing - i really dont care. i'm doing this for ME not YOU.
this is the view from my room where i will be staying.
and this is the lake that is walking distance from the house.
this is what you see when you are leaving the lake.
i'm so excited that i even started packing already!!! i still have a WEEK before i leave haha.
i cleaned out my ENTIRE closet today! i got rid of THREE bags of clothes. it's so theraputic. it feels like you are getting rid of your past. i saw sooooo many shirts that reminded me of many different events in my life. some good, some bad. my closet has so much space now, i love it.
i haven't watched the slide show on my myspace of me and ryan in awhile and i watched it last night. i completely lost it. i cried for an hour in the shower...HARD! i miss him so muuuuuch!!!! you have NO idea how much i miss that kid. i have this voicemail he left me still...it's from TWO DAYS before......september 8th. he refers to himself as ryan elliot cosby in it<3 hearing his voice is so hard.
i had a couple of my friends come over the other day to take pictures of me with my two dogs haha. it's for my moms mothers day present. it came out amazing. my friend took the pic and edited it to make it look SO amazing/professional. the actual pic is an 8 x 10 but i put it in an 11 x 14 frame with a realllly nice matte around it.
i couldn't wait to give it to my mom so i gave it to her last night.
she LOVED it!!!
ok time to get ready for work. love you guys<3
p.s. courtney - it was SO good seeing you last weekend...here's the pic jeepres took of us.
.i.love.you.
i'm turning a page in my life.
losing ryan effected me more than i could have ever imagined. i completely fell apart. completely. i just need to get re-focused on my life and my future. i start cal state in the fall and i need to get in gear and start taking life a little more seriously.
just because i am leaving does NOT mean i am running from my problems and that they are just going to macically dissappear. some people have been giving me shit for leaving. but i'm leaving because 1. i need a break from work (i work SIX days a week and my job is SO stressful!) 2. i miss my family 3. i just need time off to think.read.write.etc. whats so wrong with THAT?
i feel like i can't grow as a person if i go to the same job day after day, see the same people day after day, and do the same things day after day. i need a change of scenery, thats all. if you don't want to support what i am doing - i really dont care. i'm doing this for ME not YOU.
this is the view from my room where i will be staying.
and this is the lake that is walking distance from the house.
this is what you see when you are leaving the lake.
i'm so excited that i even started packing already!!! i still have a WEEK before i leave haha.
i cleaned out my ENTIRE closet today! i got rid of THREE bags of clothes. it's so theraputic. it feels like you are getting rid of your past. i saw sooooo many shirts that reminded me of many different events in my life. some good, some bad. my closet has so much space now, i love it.
i haven't watched the slide show on my myspace of me and ryan in awhile and i watched it last night. i completely lost it. i cried for an hour in the shower...HARD! i miss him so muuuuuch!!!! you have NO idea how much i miss that kid. i have this voicemail he left me still...it's from TWO DAYS before......september 8th. he refers to himself as ryan elliot cosby in it<3 hearing his voice is so hard.
i had a couple of my friends come over the other day to take pictures of me with my two dogs haha. it's for my moms mothers day present. it came out amazing. my friend took the pic and edited it to make it look SO amazing/professional. the actual pic is an 8 x 10 but i put it in an 11 x 14 frame with a realllly nice matte around it.
i couldn't wait to give it to my mom so i gave it to her last night.
she LOVED it!!!
ok time to get ready for work. love you guys<3
p.s. courtney - it was SO good seeing you last weekend...here's the pic jeepres took of us.
.i.love.you.