Torn to bits
Airel told me she wanted a break last night. I honestly don't know what to say. I'm so shattered and torn right now, I feel so sick and upset...I just can't explain it. The feeling is so horrible, so depressing, so stomach turning. Where do I go from here? She says it's just "a break." But I honestly don't know. Every night when Cegro gets home, she goes into "Ignore Tom" mode and she completely ignores me. It's like I don't even exist, and she doesn't even notice. It tears my heart outa my chest to know that she's more willing to talk to this Cegro fella, than she is to me. When i spoke with him, he says he talks to her about her problems...so I've either, A. Caught him in a lie cause Airel hates talking about her problems plain and simple. B. Caught Airel in a lie and she's willing to talk to her problems to anyone but myself. or C. There's something going on between the two of them. I've examined all the ideas, I've looked over all the evidence, and there is no other possible conclusions.
The pain is so horrible right now. I love her so god damn much. She says that we'll still be together, but I don't know how we can stay together if she ignores me. Tonight, I sent her 4 or 5 tells, and once Cegro got on, I never got a response, not a one. I just don't know why she won't talk to me. I don't know why she won't talk to me at all. Why? I wish she would give me a reasonable explanation for it. I don't expect to get one, but I wish she would give me one all the same. I need to go before my stomach twists into 100 knots. I love you Airel, I love you so much.
The pain is so horrible right now. I love her so god damn much. She says that we'll still be together, but I don't know how we can stay together if she ignores me. Tonight, I sent her 4 or 5 tells, and once Cegro got on, I never got a response, not a one. I just don't know why she won't talk to me. I don't know why she won't talk to me at all. Why? I wish she would give me a reasonable explanation for it. I don't expect to get one, but I wish she would give me one all the same. I need to go before my stomach twists into 100 knots. I love you Airel, I love you so much.