(no subject)
so half the time im asleep and im having weird dreams and it is like i am tearing at flesh and i am cutting offf heads stabbing in guts impale livers vomit in cavities mouths kick out teeth smash eyeballs into the ground bloody coloured maggoty smears of colour a crystal of a pupil bitings wings wanting a huge giant butterffly of some sor f sos i cnan so i can kcik its beauty into smithereens so i can staammmppppstamp hard hard it out crush it kill it fucking annihlate it shoot itno water kick roll see ityoume roll in the filth all this has created the blood the vomit the shards of bone its allv ery wonderful i cant ever get rid of the feeling of just wanting to murder its let its it all it not enough and then they are asking me wh yh i am doing it all ic an think is that my hands all of me is starmmering shaking even my hands are stammering like i am scared of dosmething and she is coming back and she had come back already yeah thats what i thought and they say you got sscared uhhuh yes thats why so i shoot her in the face and the thing lick als the blood off like i mean kisses the gaping wound and its tongue is in there it cn feel tht texture of the bleeding flesh and the strings of the cheek muscles thats what it does and they are syaying why did it do it if it is hurtful and grotesque and thatsssbeucauseitlvoesherh so its very poisoend in the end and liekalsoi in lvoe.
ands this is like a hundred miles per hours to somebody house speeindg down along roads this is the half drea m i half remember btu i dont relaly understand i would like to writ down all the words but theyre too blurry in my eyes in front of my head id get a nial scratch it into anyhting like skin jusssssttttt above my knee but but my hands are shakring also the palms itching this is generally what im thinking im also thinking maybe im sick or just tired always half hallucating im also thinking why wouldi do tht i dont want to hrt anyone im thinking is dhould go to sleep completely in love with it and feeling in my stomach aches i should count the heavy influcen of people the ways lulls moves and floatign and watching its hands very useless but it uses it all the time im thinking i should be full of this love so why cant i? i dont hate anyone else i dont even hate all of you like lovelovelove thats why it is pure love and absolutely whole thats why it is the way im not hurting things right now or anyone except except except except
ands this is like a hundred miles per hours to somebody house speeindg down along roads this is the half drea m i half remember btu i dont relaly understand i would like to writ down all the words but theyre too blurry in my eyes in front of my head id get a nial scratch it into anyhting like skin jusssssttttt above my knee but but my hands are shakring also the palms itching this is generally what im thinking im also thinking maybe im sick or just tired always half hallucating im also thinking why wouldi do tht i dont want to hrt anyone im thinking is dhould go to sleep completely in love with it and feeling in my stomach aches i should count the heavy influcen of people the ways lulls moves and floatign and watching its hands very useless but it uses it all the time im thinking i should be full of this love so why cant i? i dont hate anyone else i dont even hate all of you like lovelovelove thats why it is pure love and absolutely whole thats why it is the way im not hurting things right now or anyone except except except except