The Hospitality Suite
As featured in a story called “Love an Adventure” that I wrote for DargonZine back in 1994, I’ve always felt that an adventure is simply doing something you’ve never done before, no matter how small.
Well, the past 48 hours have provided several such “firsts”… or a lot of adventure, if you care to look at it that way.
Having unquestionably arrived at mid-life, today I had my first diagnostic colonoscopy.
It was the first time I’d even been under any form of anesthesia. That made it more challenging (and more of an adventure) for a control freak like myself, although ultimately it wasn’t as difficult an experience as I’d feared.
It was also the first time I’d even been in the hospital for any kind of actual procedure. I guess I’ve been lucky so far, because my few experiences in hospital have been trips to the ER for minor issues: twice to get a few stitches in my right elbow from bike accidents, once due to a childhood bike accident that left me unconscious, and once recently for a fainting episode where I also lost consciousness.
So as you might imagine, I approached the procedure with some trepidation.
The prep was pretty heinous, consisting of two doses of heinous-tasting and explosive laxative, and nothing but (gallons of) clear liquids for the 48 hours leading up to the blessed event. Picture passing all that liquid in a marathon eight-hour bathroom camp-out. All that left me weak, thoroughly chilled, and with a stomach that sounded like Satan On Steroids.
The procedure itself… Well, it’s pretty brief, and they do give you enough of a sedative to ensure that you’re really out of it.
In the end (pun intended), I survived it. Between the icky medicine, the gallons of water, the hours on the john, the chills and weakness, the lack of eating, the IV, the sedation, and the procedure, it was something of a challenge, but I managed to get through it.
I suppose it doesn’t make very much of a story, but it was a pretty big thing for me to get through. Very glad to finally have it behind me (so to speak).