Dicklich Gemacht
It’s been a standing joke for as long as I can remember: what is Ornoth’s body fat percentage? Well, after my recent purchase of a scale that includes body composition, we now have a definitive answer.
Sort of.
Before this posting, I solicited guesses from our studio audience. There were four non-outlier responses: 5, 11, 12.4 and 17.5, which yields an average of 11.5 percent. And now I’m ready to reveal the answer. Or answers, actually…
The problem is that the scale has two modes-athlete mode and tuber mode-and if I measure myself in both modes, the readings I get vary by nearly eight percent, which is a huge difference. So how do I know which mode better reflects reality?
Fortunately, the manufacturer provides a helpful definition. An athlete is “a person involved in intense physical acivity of approximately 10 hours per week and who has a resting heart rate of approximately 60 beats per minute or less.”
But that doesn’t really help. In the summer, my cycling usually qualifies me for athlete status, even though my actual measured moving time doesn’t always break the 10 hour minimum. But in the winter, I’m about as sedentary as anyone.
So what to do? Do I switch between modes as the seasons change? Do I consider myself a 70 percent athlete and do some specious math to come up with a guesstimate? There’s no easy answers.
But you want to hear my numbers, not a bunch of disclaimers. So here they are. If you use athlete mode, my body fat percentage averages 6.6 percent, but it jumps to 14.1 percent if you use Average Joe mode.
Based on that, it’s probably safe to say that I have a body fat percentage in or close to single digits. But if I want to get a more reliable measurement, I have to wander down to the Weymouth Club and pay $60 to use their Bod Pod.
On the positive side, if you pick one mode on my scale and stick to it, the measurements are quite consistent, so you can track relative changes. You just can’t get a single, absolute, irrefutable number.
But that’s okay; it would only just depress you, anyways… ;^)