Basic Litteracy

[ornoth]

Most of you know that in 1984 I founded an Internet-based magazine for aspiring writers called DargonZine and ran it until a couple years ago. I have to say, there’s nothing quite like amateur fiction. As ably demonstrated by the following unedited passages from some of the rough drafts that were posted for peer review. Their beauty is self-evident; enjoy.

1. “Before I do my mother, will you put yourself in exile with me?
2. Skar smiled a mean little smile as Kane recovered himself and quickly snatched the bag off of the table. Skar slowly drank the rest of his ale, and the rose from his table.
3. The baron said, “He’ll get over it, my love. But this could have all been avoided if you had been more discrete.”
4. When she had not conceived after months of trying, it became apparent that something was wrong. Now, years later, there was no denying her bareness.
5. All of the walls around the room were filled with doors, and in the center a grand staircase lead up to a balcony on the second floor.
6. Sandia reached the edge of the doorway and peaked in.
7. “What?” she screeched. “You pick up some orphaned peasant girl and bring her back, then you dump her on me while you gallivant off to heard sheep or whatever it is knights do in this backwater squandry.
8. “I’ll return in two months,” DuVania said forcefully. “No one is being abandoned, Friana. During that time, I’m sure my daughter will fair just as well as she has during the past two months.
9. The tavern was teaming again, full of evening patrons eating and drinking their fill
10. [note here that Parris is a male character] Parris recalled the family tale that had been passed on to him by his father, a weak and bitter man with no ambition. Parris and Clifton’s great-grandfather, Duke Cedric, had been unable to conceive a child.
11. Soldiers dressed in the white and blue livery colours of baron Narragan lunged at him from both sides.
12. There were archers and varying degree of men-at-arms from peasants with farm implements to well-equipped castle guards bearing shields with their lords’ liver colours and chain hauberks.
13. Dara reached them and scanned the deep blue horizon. Sumner Dargon pointed and she was able to make out the white rectangles of sales approaching.
14. When I returned to the room, it looked beautiful. It had always been one of my favorite rooms for this reason. Because there were no windows, the light from the candles and the scone lit the room with a golden glow.
15. He felt the warmth of her through his clothing. He stood still again and let that warmth envelope him.
16. I had already seen that few city dwellers considered woodsmen, wearing simple leathers and fir shirts to be uncivilized.
17. Enough was enough. I remember pushing away the proffered cup of water, and the incensed look on the fishmonger’s face as it spilled over him.
18. I stared at the creature and it stared back at me. Then it spayed water from the top of its head and I was soaking wet; so was every other man standing nearby. It got their attention.
19. “May I come in?”
    “Off course.”