Be Mine Forever
Now is an opportune time to make this announcement, since the most interested parties have recently appeared on F*c*book. I am delighted to finally announce the long-awaited winner of Ornoth’s Wedding Gift Longevity contest!
While I no longer have a record of who attended our wedding nor what gifts we received, today I can say with a large degree of confidence that we have a winner! After nearly two hundred thousand hours of continuous service-over four times the duration of our marriage-the only wedding gift that is both still in my possession and fully functional is…
… a black, cube-shaped Soundesign AM/FM digital alarm clock radio given to us by none other than the illustrious Brent Cabotjam Britton! Yay!
Thanks again to all our contestants, and hearty congratulations to Señor Britton-we hope you will accept this complimentary vintage clock radio as a remembrance!