Do you see the world through a different pair of eyes?
It’s a common belief that women by nature have a more developed sense of empathy than men. Whenever a child cries or someone is treated unfairly, we usually expect a woman to respond in a more sympathetic manner than a man.
As the generalization goes, we think that men are cold, stony, and insensitive. A man simply isn’t capable of putting himself in someone else’s place, of understanding and responding to what someone else must be feeling.
The irony of this belief struck me recently, while I was observing some guys participating in a mildly competitive but friendly game of foos. The gentlemen were very engaged and animated, vocally sharing their excitement when someone benefited from good fortune or made an admirable shot, and commiserating over the occasional unlucky bounce. And they certainly were bonding with one another through those shared emotions.
Anyone who has any question about whether men are capable of empathy would have that misperception corrected by watching a man engaged in or observing any competitive pursuit. The reason why men get so visibly wrapped up sporting events is because he knows what it feels like. That might be a different kind of empathy, but it still meets the dictionary definition: the awareness and vicarious experience of another person’s feelings.
Tomorrow there’s a rather big sporting event going on. It might be a good opportunity to watch this masculine version of empathy in action. I’d be curious to hear what you observe.
Ironically, one of our female officemates came by during that foosball game and expressed her complete disinterest, and even joked about how “into it” the guys were, mocking the men for their emotional involvement in a mere game. Does that not mean women lack the ability to connect with others’ feelings, at least in this particular fashion? Perhaps so. And perhaps our preconceived ideas about “empathy” warrant a less gender-biased examination.