An almost 5 year old to solve all your problems…
Okay, so as you know for the last few weeks I've been having this trouble with DS, which really started already before the end of the last school year when DS discovered the delightful fun that is play dates.
DS wants to go on a play date every day after school. He doesn't want to take a bus and go to grandpa.
The bright side: aside from the weekend and Tuesday when MIL and FIL pick him up, he hardly sees any TV. I took it down to one hour a day during the rest of the week and that includes computer but in reality b/c he's so busy with friends that he doesn't even watch that much.
BTW, I told MIL and FIL that I only let him watch an hour a day of TV…but they ignored me. Typical. They warship the box. MIL once was almost in tears when I said that I think DH and I should cancel the satellite subscription…I still think we should, it's a big waste of money and all it's good for is helping me fall asleep…as long as I want to sleep on the Sofa.
Anyway, back to DS, I find my self in a situation when every day I go pick him up, I know not where I'm going once I get him. If we haven't been invited in advance, which is a rare thing in Israeli culture, and if there are other kids left at day care…DS will make me wait till their mothers arrive so I can ask them if he can come over. If they say "No" he has a tantrum and I have trouble getting anywhere, even if I do explain to him over and over that 1) I understand he's feelings. 2) we need to be invited 3) it doesn't always suit everyone, they have busy lives.
And when it works out, great, I tag along and DH picks us up from said Play date when he's done at work.
For the last 3 wks he's had 2 play dates a week. This Sunday in order to appease him b/c he couldn't get his play date I took him to the "Castle" in the mall where for $4 he can play for an hour [otherwise I would have had to have waited an hour again on the main street for DH...]...I don't mind taking him maybe once a week to the castle, but this can't be a habbit...or a prize, besides we often go there on Friday.
Today, he wants me to call "I's" mummy, because she told me to call her when she said "No" on Sunday and he wants to go there today, he and "I" [not me, his friend] have been in cahoots over this for a long time. "I" is typically the last one left at day care b/c he's mom is almost always late and she works in the same building as I. So I need to do that soon.
I spoke to DS this morning and I promised him I would but that it might not work out. I also reminded him that we are running out of his cereal bars and that if I can't get to the store because he's busy going to friends every day I will not be able to replace them. So he answered:
- "Go to the store alone mummy, I'll go to my friend. That's how it's done."
- To which I queried, and how will I come and pick you up, "I" lives far away from grandpa and I don't have a car.
- "The big bus can help you mummy. You can come to "I" house with the bus"
So, I'm very proud of my DS that is thinking and using his head to solve problems, this is the right age when they start doing this, and I've noticed this before already.
But still…I'm in a dilemma, I'm very happy he's enjoying his friends at day care; this is what I wanted for him. I'm glad he's social and the other kids like him.
I do not want to suppress his social skills. On the other hand, I need him to understand he can not dictate our schedule. He needs to be invited to places and it can't be every day.
Once again, the thought of how I will cope with two rears it's ugly head…
And everyone is telling me when he goes to school it will have to be in your local area so he can go to friends after school, because that is how it's done in Israel, or he will not have friends if he goes to school in Ra'anana…I've mentioned this to DH…but what does he understand, he's from the USA…and he's family moved way too many times. He wants him to go to school in Ra'anana [which I understand]…but I think we should also move to Ra'anana, even if it means renting.