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PICCY OF THE DAY FOR Wednesday, October 20, 2004
I really need to get some things off my chest about the past couple of days. There has been a lot of drama going on lately at school, and some people need to hear some things that I think they don't want to hear. But that doesn't matter. I'm going to say it anyways. This starts way before school had even started this year. There were some things that had happened last year that had left some people a bit unnerved. Go back to Virginia Beach. Laurie had said some things that I found to be uncalled for. I have never forgiven her and I will never forget that she had said that for no appearant reason. Then she decided to ask what was wrong with Kristin, Erika, and myself the day that we had come home. So I told her off. And I DO NOT regret what I said. Skip forward to the end of sophomore year... Steph and Veronica had issues. I had gotten in the middle of it, and I DO regret that. Over the summer, I had heaven. No one was fighting with another AT ALL. And life was perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better summer. I had some peace and quiet. For once in my life. I've never had that before, and I was sick and tired of trying to be the peacemaker that everyone turned to. To be quite honest with everyone, I hate being peacemaker still to this day. I know that I have the courage to say this now, but I won't tomorrow, so I'm only gonna say this once. Once in a while, people have to figure out their lives for themselves. When I tell you that I don't know what to do, usually I mean it, and when I don't, I mean that you have to figure it out for yourselves. And I don't mean that to be mean. I just want to have a break from running everyone else's lives for them. I'm not gonna be there forever for all of you, and when I'm not, please just don't turn to me, because I'm not guaranteeing that I'm going to help. I'm not saying this to be mean, but there are a few individuals that need to hear this more than others. ANYWAY, back to my original plan..... Skip ahead to Junior year... Once again, there are issues between Veronica and Steph. And once again, I'm in the middle of it. And this time, I think I'm leaning towards the other side. I will admit that there was something that I had said that had pissed V off, but I was the one who apologized for saying it. So Veronica and I are on good terms. Probably the best we've ever had. And I am not ashamed or embarrassed to say that. It just means that I'm starting to stick up for myself when someone doesn't like the way I choose my friends. Most of my friends I have known since elementary school. But that's not the point. The fact of the matter is that lately there has been a lot of drama that I don't want to continue. Everyone who knows what I am talking about has dropped the issue, save for one. And I'm not stating anything. I am sick and tired of having to play along like someone's lap dog all the time, and I'm done with it. Mentally, emotionally, and physically done. I have apologized for what I had said and I don't want to drag it on any farther. So I'm just saying that people need to move on with their lives and not dwell on something for so long because no one's going to want to be around you when you act like that. That's why I have blocked myself off from certain ones lately.
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Sorry if I sound like a bitch, but that's how I have felt this past week. I haven't really been getting along with certain individuals lately and I just needed to say all of this.