Me thinking.....as usual
If I type and no one read it am I still typing?
I guess it can be a good thing if no one does read it...then I can type whatever I want and no one will care! I can say what I want withought the fear of offending someone. Withought the fear of leaving somone out, or even without the care that someone will eventualy read it and get defensive!
So part of me is still recovering from last weekends experiance with my best friend who has found his way into my life once again. More like I led him into it. Now I am sitting here thinking all over again...all mixed up all over again...feeling things all over again....I have never led a simple life, and part of me likes it that way. That is until the complication starts to make sense. They say life is nothing like a movie or a TV show, but keep looking back and believe I could sell my life as a script for quite a bit of money.
All I really need to do is start typing my diary out, change the names of course....
I am tired, but I can never sleep! Memories of past haunt me...questions of future trouble me and as for the present, Last night is a perfect example of that. I went to bed upset at a certain someone who decided that a night of TV watching was more important then talking to moi. So I threw his sweater out of my bed, then seeing how I was now left with nothing to comfort me in my period of lonelyness I found the sweater my best friend had on while he was here this past weekend. I curled up with it next to me and still found my mind restless. How is it I can be drunk...even high but still have enough brains in me to keep things to myself? How can I stop myself from doing what has been on my mind for god knows how long....Why is it that even when I am being irresponsible I can still be responsible? No one will understand. No one can understand....There is only one that can maybe understand this thing that hovers in the back of my brain, but yet even she cant, cause it is just a TV show. It is not real what they live....Joey and Dawson, they were soulmates but their timing was always off. Is it possible to have one true love that you are just not meant to be with?
How can two people who are leading completly seperate lives come back together and act like they saw eachother yesterday? I call thinking that there was no way that person would come. I called knowing it was the only person I could call....but for him to come be by my side as he was so long ago, never would it have occured to me. But there he was, walking up those steps, walking back into my life...And I dont know what to do now. I had things all figured out. I had come to terms with the whole seperate lives. I had faced reality, my life was going on, but now I dont know where to go from here.....
And this is what happends when I just start typing....but that brings me back to my question at the beginging. If no one reads...I still type...I keep typing and maybe sleep can come to me at last....
I guess it can be a good thing if no one does read it...then I can type whatever I want and no one will care! I can say what I want withought the fear of offending someone. Withought the fear of leaving somone out, or even without the care that someone will eventualy read it and get defensive!
So part of me is still recovering from last weekends experiance with my best friend who has found his way into my life once again. More like I led him into it. Now I am sitting here thinking all over again...all mixed up all over again...feeling things all over again....I have never led a simple life, and part of me likes it that way. That is until the complication starts to make sense. They say life is nothing like a movie or a TV show, but keep looking back and believe I could sell my life as a script for quite a bit of money.
All I really need to do is start typing my diary out, change the names of course....
I am tired, but I can never sleep! Memories of past haunt me...questions of future trouble me and as for the present, Last night is a perfect example of that. I went to bed upset at a certain someone who decided that a night of TV watching was more important then talking to moi. So I threw his sweater out of my bed, then seeing how I was now left with nothing to comfort me in my period of lonelyness I found the sweater my best friend had on while he was here this past weekend. I curled up with it next to me and still found my mind restless. How is it I can be drunk...even high but still have enough brains in me to keep things to myself? How can I stop myself from doing what has been on my mind for god knows how long....Why is it that even when I am being irresponsible I can still be responsible? No one will understand. No one can understand....There is only one that can maybe understand this thing that hovers in the back of my brain, but yet even she cant, cause it is just a TV show. It is not real what they live....Joey and Dawson, they were soulmates but their timing was always off. Is it possible to have one true love that you are just not meant to be with?
How can two people who are leading completly seperate lives come back together and act like they saw eachother yesterday? I call thinking that there was no way that person would come. I called knowing it was the only person I could call....but for him to come be by my side as he was so long ago, never would it have occured to me. But there he was, walking up those steps, walking back into my life...And I dont know what to do now. I had things all figured out. I had come to terms with the whole seperate lives. I had faced reality, my life was going on, but now I dont know where to go from here.....
And this is what happends when I just start typing....but that brings me back to my question at the beginging. If no one reads...I still type...I keep typing and maybe sleep can come to me at last....