FUCKING PISSED!
So, I'm in a play today. It's just a stupid little one act, nothing play. but my mother decided she wants to come down and see it. That's cool, i love my mom. I'm stressed about said play because no one knows what the fuck they're doing, and it's going to be horrible. But i don't care if it sucks too bad. I was trying to get the point across to my mother that it's no big deal whatsoever, but she still wanted to come, and i don't mind that...
So what does my lovely mother do? She invites my grandmother along!!! This may not seem like a big deal, but the relationship i have with said grandmother is very strained. She wasn't there for me for the first 17 years of my life or so. Never went to a single performance, barely came to anything at the house, never showed an interest in me or my siblings, i just thought that's how she was. But I tried so hard to talk to her, to get a reaction out of her... Then my aunt renee had a baby, and my grandmother fawned over him like there was no tomorrow. That hurt, i don't care how old you are. Then all of a sudden she decides to start showing an interest. And i'm sorry, it's too little too late. My mom tells me she always asks about me when she calls, and keeps asking for me to call her and to come see my school. I can't tell my mother that i DON'T WANT a relationship with her, because she wanted one so badly with her when she was younger. So my mom keeps pushing this on me, and I DON'T WANT IT! My father claims that "She realizes she missed out being a grandmother to you." and my mom jokes that "She's preparing to die." But i don't really... care... i know it sounds mean, she's family and all, but i don't. So I'm pissed at my mom for telling me just today, hours before they'll be here, and the only reason i know at all is because she slipped up on the phone, she thinks that bringing her here would be a pleasant surprise!!! WHAT THE HELL?? I've told mom that i'm not sure how i want to go about dealing with Nana's new found interest in my life, so she springs her on me? On a day that i'm already stressed? Plus, I'm sorry, who the hell has their grandparents come hang out on campus? I'm sick of my mom pretending we're a big happy family when WE'RE NOT!
and it makes me sad that i'm so angry about it... because i shouldn't be, i should just be able to brush it off and suck it up and spend an evening with her, but it's hard... I don't want her here...