Longest thought process ever!
I have come to realize one thing: love makes people crazy. It makes people do and say things that they wouldn’t normal do or say. It makes people go to the ends of the Earth in search of it. It makes some people goofy, some sad, some silly, some immature, some suave, some sexy, some confident, some shy, some scared, some comfortable, and some feel whole.
It is as if we all have this ideal of what we want our lives to be. Not only do we know what we want but we also seem to know when we want it. It is a perfectly elaborate plan that each of us has consciously or subconsciously created. And any deviation from that plan seems to frustrate and scare us. People begin to worry if they don’t have what they want when they expected it. Like women who think they’re biological clocks are running up or the men who feel they are getting too old to have a family. Or people who feel like they have passed their prime and that they are too old to start over or go back to school.
It also works the other way though. Some people will freak out if they get what they want before they wanted it. It messes up all their plans and ideas of what their life was suppose to be. It’s as if we don’t want to have a family until we have a good job and we don’t want a good job until we’ve experienced life and traveled or done whatever we need to do. But we never think of it that way. And often we become resentful or bitter if we get these things too early or in the wrong order. We feel like we missed out on life.
We just want everything in our lives to work out perfectly. It is not until it is too late that we realize how perfect everything truly was. At the time we do not think of it as us getting everything we wanted. We always think that we will get another chance or it will happen again when we are ready. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work out as well as we plan it. Sometimes we’ll end up holding out forever waiting for that second chance and other times we end up settling because we believe that is the best we will ever get.
It is all so crazy and insane. There is no logic behind it. If someone offered you a billion dollars tomorrow and told you to enjoy the rest of your life would you turn that down? Honestly, who would say that they didn’t want the money right then because they weren’t ready for it at that time, but maybe in a couple of years? There is no logic behind it.
I’ve learned this illogical insanity that love creates first hand. I’ve been on the giving and receiving end myself. In the past, I worried and stressed because I thought I was suppose to have certain things or be somewhere specific in my life and I wasn’t yet. I’ve pushed people away in my past because they didn’t fit into my mold of a perfect life. But it wasn’t until I was on the opposite end that I fully understood how crazy love and life truly are.
I was with the most amazing individual in the entire world. I had never met anyone as incredible as this girl. We were only together for a short period of time, but it felt like a lifetime. I had it great and perfect even if it was for a little while. There were just a million tiny things that added up to us knowing that we were supposed to be together even if just for that short time. There was the way we felt completely comfortable together, the feeling we’d get when our eyes would meet, the way that we both just totally understood each other, the fact that we could both let our guards down and be completely open and honest with each other. There is so much more that was perfect about what we had, but I could go on forever listing it all off and some of you would never understand.
Well, both of us are what you might call commitment-phobes. It’s that whole not wanting something until you are ready for it and being worried that you might make a mistake and miss out on life. Well, we both understood each other on this which is why we didn’t rush into a serious relationship; we were just seeing each other exclusively. Well, then the unexpected happened. We both started falling for each other. We had so much fun together and it was amazing. In fact, the only issues we had were because of other people causing problems. Well, I think that she got freaked out when she realized how much she cared about me because we didn’t want a serious relationship because we both had things to figure out on our own. But I think she was worried that we would end up becoming more serious since we both were falling so hard for each other. Well, she pulled the age-old move of pushing me away and trying to avoid me. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize this at first so I probably pushed her away even further because I pulled her back when she pushed me away.
Now I am left hanging in limbo because I am giving her the space and time she needs to figure all of her stuff out. Unfortunately, I think that my initial reaction to her pushing me away might have freaked her out even more because she is trying to find any reason to push me away and not fall for me. She doesn’t believe she is ready for a serious relationship and the fact that she fell for me freaked her out and so she pushed me away. Now all I can do is wait. I have no idea if I am waiting for nothing or if I am waiting for a perfect girl.
I love her more than she will ever know. Unfortunately, we fell for each other at what appears to be the wrong time. Whoever is fortunate enough to be the right guy at the right time for her will be the luckiest man alive. I truly hope that they realize what an amazing person they have in her and that they treat her as well as she deserves to be treated. She deserves all the happiness in the world, and so I will give her whatever she needs to be happy, which right now is time.
And so my theory holds true: love does make us do crazy things. It makes a man who is madly in love voluntarily give up a lifetime of happiness in order to give the woman he loves everything she’s ever wanted or needed. Now all we can do is wait and see what the future holds.
It is as if we all have this ideal of what we want our lives to be. Not only do we know what we want but we also seem to know when we want it. It is a perfectly elaborate plan that each of us has consciously or subconsciously created. And any deviation from that plan seems to frustrate and scare us. People begin to worry if they don’t have what they want when they expected it. Like women who think they’re biological clocks are running up or the men who feel they are getting too old to have a family. Or people who feel like they have passed their prime and that they are too old to start over or go back to school.
It also works the other way though. Some people will freak out if they get what they want before they wanted it. It messes up all their plans and ideas of what their life was suppose to be. It’s as if we don’t want to have a family until we have a good job and we don’t want a good job until we’ve experienced life and traveled or done whatever we need to do. But we never think of it that way. And often we become resentful or bitter if we get these things too early or in the wrong order. We feel like we missed out on life.
We just want everything in our lives to work out perfectly. It is not until it is too late that we realize how perfect everything truly was. At the time we do not think of it as us getting everything we wanted. We always think that we will get another chance or it will happen again when we are ready. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work out as well as we plan it. Sometimes we’ll end up holding out forever waiting for that second chance and other times we end up settling because we believe that is the best we will ever get.
It is all so crazy and insane. There is no logic behind it. If someone offered you a billion dollars tomorrow and told you to enjoy the rest of your life would you turn that down? Honestly, who would say that they didn’t want the money right then because they weren’t ready for it at that time, but maybe in a couple of years? There is no logic behind it.
I’ve learned this illogical insanity that love creates first hand. I’ve been on the giving and receiving end myself. In the past, I worried and stressed because I thought I was suppose to have certain things or be somewhere specific in my life and I wasn’t yet. I’ve pushed people away in my past because they didn’t fit into my mold of a perfect life. But it wasn’t until I was on the opposite end that I fully understood how crazy love and life truly are.
I was with the most amazing individual in the entire world. I had never met anyone as incredible as this girl. We were only together for a short period of time, but it felt like a lifetime. I had it great and perfect even if it was for a little while. There were just a million tiny things that added up to us knowing that we were supposed to be together even if just for that short time. There was the way we felt completely comfortable together, the feeling we’d get when our eyes would meet, the way that we both just totally understood each other, the fact that we could both let our guards down and be completely open and honest with each other. There is so much more that was perfect about what we had, but I could go on forever listing it all off and some of you would never understand.
Well, both of us are what you might call commitment-phobes. It’s that whole not wanting something until you are ready for it and being worried that you might make a mistake and miss out on life. Well, we both understood each other on this which is why we didn’t rush into a serious relationship; we were just seeing each other exclusively. Well, then the unexpected happened. We both started falling for each other. We had so much fun together and it was amazing. In fact, the only issues we had were because of other people causing problems. Well, I think that she got freaked out when she realized how much she cared about me because we didn’t want a serious relationship because we both had things to figure out on our own. But I think she was worried that we would end up becoming more serious since we both were falling so hard for each other. Well, she pulled the age-old move of pushing me away and trying to avoid me. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize this at first so I probably pushed her away even further because I pulled her back when she pushed me away.
Now I am left hanging in limbo because I am giving her the space and time she needs to figure all of her stuff out. Unfortunately, I think that my initial reaction to her pushing me away might have freaked her out even more because she is trying to find any reason to push me away and not fall for me. She doesn’t believe she is ready for a serious relationship and the fact that she fell for me freaked her out and so she pushed me away. Now all I can do is wait. I have no idea if I am waiting for nothing or if I am waiting for a perfect girl.
I love her more than she will ever know. Unfortunately, we fell for each other at what appears to be the wrong time. Whoever is fortunate enough to be the right guy at the right time for her will be the luckiest man alive. I truly hope that they realize what an amazing person they have in her and that they treat her as well as she deserves to be treated. She deserves all the happiness in the world, and so I will give her whatever she needs to be happy, which right now is time.
And so my theory holds true: love does make us do crazy things. It makes a man who is madly in love voluntarily give up a lifetime of happiness in order to give the woman he loves everything she’s ever wanted or needed. Now all we can do is wait and see what the future holds.