On sadness and being an utter fool
So every once in a while it happens, and I imagine it happens for everybody. As time goes on, it increases the stockpile of things in my life that make me horribly sad and angry. First comes the sadness and then comes the anger, but it's the sadness that I intend to address. You see, every once in a while, something will happen. In the case of tonight, it was listening to a song. Watching an old gospel song on Youtube of all things that triggered it. It's true what they say that when you finally break down and cry, it's not that you're weak. It's just that you've been so strong for far too long that you can't take any of the weight anymore.
And so there it was, the sound of the music bringing back memories of my childhood. I believe that there's an amount of pain that we all still carry around no matter what. We suppress it or smother it. We pretend that it isn't there. Sometimes we may even choose to face it and make it have less power over us. We walk on and say that we're "over it". I don't know. Maybe it's something we tell ourselves as a pacifier, like singing to and calming a small child as you're being circled by starving lions.
Anywho, I met someone today, and I really hope that something great and enduring happen there. I don't know if this has ever happened to someone else, but have you looked into the eyes of someone you just met and knew that you didn't even want to go through dating or the long stretch of drama or getting to know them? That you just want to skip all that, take them in your arms and immediately know everything about them? You just want to let them know that they're the one you've been searching for all your life, and you're that person for them as well. You want nothing else in the world to exist for any reason except you two. The sand that you feel in your toes as you walk barefoot, the water that cools you as you swim in the ocean. The smell of honeysuckle trees in Summer. It's just for you two.
Experience has told me that it would be wise to take things slowly and blah blah blah..but you know, in life we have a choice, and the choice is this.. the choice to make mistakes. I am going to ignore all the wisdom that everyone, including myself, has sermonized to me for the past couple of months now because there has always been a few things constant in my life. I always make mistakes. I always know love and some moments of happiness. I always learn and grow, and that, my friends may or may not be worth the pain of being wrong.
And so there it was, the sound of the music bringing back memories of my childhood. I believe that there's an amount of pain that we all still carry around no matter what. We suppress it or smother it. We pretend that it isn't there. Sometimes we may even choose to face it and make it have less power over us. We walk on and say that we're "over it". I don't know. Maybe it's something we tell ourselves as a pacifier, like singing to and calming a small child as you're being circled by starving lions.
Anywho, I met someone today, and I really hope that something great and enduring happen there. I don't know if this has ever happened to someone else, but have you looked into the eyes of someone you just met and knew that you didn't even want to go through dating or the long stretch of drama or getting to know them? That you just want to skip all that, take them in your arms and immediately know everything about them? You just want to let them know that they're the one you've been searching for all your life, and you're that person for them as well. You want nothing else in the world to exist for any reason except you two. The sand that you feel in your toes as you walk barefoot, the water that cools you as you swim in the ocean. The smell of honeysuckle trees in Summer. It's just for you two.
Experience has told me that it would be wise to take things slowly and blah blah blah..but you know, in life we have a choice, and the choice is this.. the choice to make mistakes. I am going to ignore all the wisdom that everyone, including myself, has sermonized to me for the past couple of months now because there has always been a few things constant in my life. I always make mistakes. I always know love and some moments of happiness. I always learn and grow, and that, my friends may or may not be worth the pain of being wrong.