[Uruha/Aoi, Kai/Aoi, Reita/Kai] Even in Death-Ch.2/??
Title: Even in Death
Chapters: 2/??
Author:Savannah (orishimeinoue )
Genre: Romance, Angst, AU, Smut
Rating: PG-NC-17(overall)
Warnings: m/m sex, self-mutilation
Band: the GazettE
Pairing: Uruha/Aoi, Reita/Kai, Kai/Aoi(sort of a really strong friendship-love)
Disclaimer: I don't own the gazette boys >.> but I'm saving up!
Synopsis: Uruha and Aoi are very in love, planning to spend their lives together after they graduate from high school. But those plans are ruined when Uruha is killed in a car accident, leaving Aoi all alone. Aoi feels that somehow, Uruha is still alive. He sees his shadow everywhere, he always hears his voice in his head. Everyone thinks he's crazy.Kai, his best friend, is the only one that will listen to him. But Aoi knows that he's right. People die, but real love is forever.
Comments: I'm trying! Getting this out ASAP!!! Wanted to have it out earlier, but it was unavoidable. Comments are <3
"Aoi, Aoi dear...I miss you. You cannot see me now, but I can talk to you in your mind. Please live on, be happy without me. I love you, remember that always. I'm glad that I was the one that died, and not you. A world with no Aoi living in it is no world at all......I have to go now, but remember-I'm always here inside of you, watching over you."
My eyes snap open, my body shooting into a sitting position. I rub at my eyes to clear them, but I still don't see him, even though I know he was just here a moment ago, talking to me. I sense his presence in my room, I can still feel his caress on my cheek, his scent lingering on me.
"Uruha, don't go! Don't leave me again!" I call out, reaching in front of me, as if to catch him. If only. I collapse back onto my bed, sobbing softly into my pillow that has experienced the taste of my tears countless times.
This isn't the first time that something like this has happened to me. Over the past five months, my Uruha has visited me many times, talking to me inside my mind. It is wonderful while it's happening, but when he goes, I am filled with despair over losing him, yet again. I talk to him inside my mind a lot, although I don't know if he can actually hear it.
When I first lost Uruha I would tell everyone when he would speak to me, but everyone just thought I was crazy and it was a side affect of such a traumatic experience. Only Kai believed me. To this day, he is the only one that will listen to me when I speak of Uruha. He believes everything I say, I can tell. Uruha really is talking to me. Somehow, somewhere, he is alive. I will find him, if it's the last thing I do.
I wipe my tears away and open my eyes, thinking that I shouldn't wallow in my self-pity, that's not what Uruha would want. It is a bright new morning, and I will try my best to be happy with Kai, as it would benefit us all.
The smell of scrambled eggs fills my nostrils as I step out of my room. My mouth immediately waters; Kai's cooking is amazing, especially his scrambled eggs, my favorite! His food always cheers me up considerably, as does his presence. I run through the living room to the kitchen. A huge pile of scrambled eggs and toast are already heaped onto a huge plate in the middle of the table, ready for me and Kai to eat.
"Kai, this smells so good!" I trill, squishing Kai into a bear hug and kissing his cheek. I can always rely on Kai.
"Thanks! Better eat it while it's hot!" He sits opposite me at the table, and we both begin stuffing our faces immediately. This is just like old times. We used to have sleepovers and watch movies together, then in the morning Kai would cook and we would eat enough for ten people. I miss those days, the days when I was always truly happy.
We soon finish stuffing ourselves, and I pull him over into the living room, pulling him onto the huge fluffy couch with me. This is what we would always do next on our sleepovers-cuddle and talk. I intertwine my limbs with his, resting my head on his strong but thin chest.
"I've gotta fatten you up! Look at you, you're getting skinnier than me! If only I could cook, then I'd fatten you up like a little piglet in no time!!" I giggle, poking at his stomach. He has absolutely no body fat, and it's beginning to worry me.
"Aww, don't worry about me, I'm a big boy. I know what I'm doing." Kai laughs, nuzzling his nose into my hair and tickling my sides. "I think it's you that needs to fatten up. Thankfully I can cook, so don't worry Aoi, I'll have you nice and plump within days!"
I squeal and squirm, trying to get him to stop tickling me. But he won't, just like always, because he says he can't take my requests seriously when I'm laughing. He knows all of my weak spots, but I know all of his, too. I thrust my arms forward, tickling under his arms. He turns into a cute puddle of giggles, trying unsuccessfully to roll away from me.
Stomachs hurting from all the laughter, we cuddle. I am laying on top of him, massaging the back of his neck softly as he massages my lower back. It is times like these where I am completely happy again, and I can forget about my loss of Uruha. I wish times like these would last forever, but that's just not how the world works.
"Kai...they hate me, don't they?" I whisper, hiding my face in Kai's neck.
His grip on me tightens as he presses soft kisses along my ear. "No, I'm sure they don't......they're just...not strong enough to handle all of this, that's all." I know that he's lying so I won't get hurt. I know the truth, my parents hate me. They think I've gone completely off the deep end, so they stay away. They even bought a new house to live in so they wouldn't have to see me, although Kai tries to say that they are just on a business trip and will be back at my side soon.
They never really liked me that much to begin with. I was never particularly smart or athletic, just being a normal middle-of -the -road kid. And once they found out that I was gay......I could tell that I was a disappointment to them. Now, they wish that I would have died, so they wouldn't be stuck with the responsibility of taking care of a teenage boy that's gone crazy. They don't want the responsibility, so they leave me here, not caring if I really do die. They send me money every week, but I know they really don't care about me. Once again, I am extremely grateful for Kai. He is willing to put up with me and keep me company, when he could be doing many other better things.
Kai shifts on the couch, pulling me on top of him, stroking my hair gently. He kisses the tears that flow freely from my desolate eyes. He starts to hum a soft melody into my ear, the song that he made just for me. Whenever I get like this, he always hums this song to me, calming me down. He is the only one that can help me stop crying. He's the only one that cares enough to.
Once the last of my tears has dried, he sits up, shifting me onto his lap, winding his arms loosely around my waist. His lips drift lightly over my neck, making me giggle at the ticklish feeling. With all the strength in my body, I flip Kai into a lying position beneath me, making sure not to hurt him. I straddle his lower stomach and lean forward, lightly kissing his soft lips.
"Thank you Kai, for everything. Without you, I wouldn't be able to continue living. You don't know how much I appreciate everything you do for me. I know I don't say 'thank you' nearly as much as I should, but I'm saying it now. From the bottom of my heart, thank you." I run my fingers along his soft cheek, memorizing the smooth flawlessness of his skin. I smile my best smile at him, and I really mean it. Right now, with Kai, I am truly happy. I might be starting to heal. Maybe I really can live a happy life with Kai, loving him. He stares up at me in awe, completely mesmerized by the sight of my smile, something that I rarely show nowadays. I'll have to start smiling more, for him. I lower my head to rest in the crook of his neck, nuzzling my nose into his cheek. He kisses me softly, and we both slowly drift off into a light sleep, content to just lie here and nap together.
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"Hey Aoi, it's Wednesday." Kai whispers, playing with my obsidian locks.
"Hmmm...it is. Come on then, we gotta go to he florist, we need flowers for it." I reply, reluctantly getting off of Kai and stretching. The day had been pretty good so far, but this is something we have to do at least every Wednesday, although we end up doing it many more times throughout the week.
The sky is bright blue, it almost seems to be burning with the light of life. The wind whirls all around, playing with my dark hair. The sun sends it's warm light down onto me, making me think of summer days years ago, spent playing around in a grassy field with Kai, Uruha, and Reita. We all used to be the best of friends, but when me and Kai were thirteen, Reita was hit by a car and killed. All of us were devastated, but Kai had taken it the worst. Him and Reita were inseparable. Uruha and I stuck with Kai, trying our best to console him. With time, all heals. Kai healed from Reita, and eventually I will heal from Uruha. But me and Kai will always remember them fondly, they will always be living on in our hearts and memories.
Kai and I walk hand in hand to the florist's, enjoying the beautiful weather. I breathe deeply, trying to take all of the scenery into me, so I can remember it forever. Arriving at the florist's, Kai steps forward to talk to the owner of the shop.
"Can we have two bouquets of red chrysanthemum and adonis?" He asks, handing the old lady his money.
The lady, her beauty withered, looks at me and gasps. She runs to the back room, coming back quickly with the bouquets Kai ordered......and an extra flower. "Here" She gasps, handing me the purple flower. "For what is to come- Xeranthemum, for eternity and immortality." She hands Kai the two bouquets and looks one last time at me, scurrying away, almost as if she is frightened.
"What was that all about?? We ordered adonis for memories and red chrysanthemum for love, but a flower for immortality? What the heck?? Crazy old lady" I chuckle, grabbing Kai's hand and swinging it to the same tempo as our steps. I tuck the purple flower delicately behind my ear, being careful not to mar it. The flower is pretty, so even if it was given to me weirdly, I will keep it.
Kai laughs along with me. His dimple flashes as he smiles happily. "Yeah, she must be crazy-I mean, did you see how she ran away from us? How weird!" He squeezes my hand lightly, lifting his eyebrows in amusement.
We're at the gates of the cemetery now, and we enter without any fear; this place has become like a second home to us. We walk down the familiar pathway, not even having to think about the way to our destination. After so long, our bodies remember the way without our minds having to. We take a turn on the path, arriving at our destination. Under a great shady tree, lie our beloveds. Reita and Uruha, forever lying next to each other in this cemetery. I pick up the broom that I always keep here and sweep up, making sure that everything around their graves is clean and cobweb-free. Kai takes the withered bouquets from last week and throws them in a garbage bag, replacing them with the ones we just bought today.
Together, Kai and I lie down in between their graves. Kai is closest to Reita's grave and I am closest to Uruha's. We look up at the sky, talking in hushed tones about all the memories the four of us shared. This is what we do every Wednesday-talk to each other and our deceased loved ones.
When it starts to get dark we head back, smiling and laughing, still reveling in happy memories. I sing softly, a song without any particular tune, made out of the warm happiness inside of me. Back at home, we eat dinner and change into our pajamas, sitting down in the living room to watch a movie, one that I told Kai I wanted to see a while ago. He surprised me with it last night, and I decided to save it for tonight. I was so surprised when he handed it to me; I had told him about it only in passing a few weeks ago. I never expected him to remember and actually go out an look for it for me. He is too good for me, really.
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It's well past midnight now, and I just woke up. I was sleeping peacefully with Kai, but something is not right, I could sense it in my sleep. I tried to ignore it at first, but it grows stronger every second. Something, somewhere, is drawing me towards it. I don't want to leave Kai all alone in the night, but I know I have to. This will change everything, I can fee lit deep in my marrow.
I get up, giving Kai a soft goodbye kiss, being sure not to disturb his sleep. Quietly, I tiptoe to my window and look out over my street. Something is calling me, something out there. Not wanting to lose it's trail, I open my window and skillfully climb out and down to the ground, like I used to do all the time to meet up with Uruha, Kai, and Reita. What is this strong presence I feel? I'm sort of scared, but I don't care. I'll find out what's calling me, even if it's the last thing I do.
A/N: Oooooohhhh, I'm so excited!! I got this out as fast as I could :) It's short again, but I think that's just how it has to be for this fic. Short chapters are more manageable, allowing me to update faster. Not too much left, maybe two chapters-ish. I can't wait ^^
What do you think? What's luring Aoi??
Oh, I'm so excited for Halloween too! I'm going to be the mad hatter! A lot of my friends laugh at me for still wanting to dress up and go trick-or-treating, but Halloween is my favorite holiday! Also, I think that you're never to old for trick-or-treating!! Haha, I'm such a weirdo >_<" Oh well~~
Chapters: 2/??
Author:Savannah (orishimeinoue )
Genre: Romance, Angst, AU, Smut
Rating: PG-NC-17(overall)
Warnings: m/m sex, self-mutilation
Band: the GazettE
Pairing: Uruha/Aoi, Reita/Kai, Kai/Aoi(sort of a really strong friendship-love)
Disclaimer: I don't own the gazette boys >.> but I'm saving up!
Synopsis: Uruha and Aoi are very in love, planning to spend their lives together after they graduate from high school. But those plans are ruined when Uruha is killed in a car accident, leaving Aoi all alone. Aoi feels that somehow, Uruha is still alive. He sees his shadow everywhere, he always hears his voice in his head. Everyone thinks he's crazy.Kai, his best friend, is the only one that will listen to him. But Aoi knows that he's right. People die, but real love is forever.
Comments: I'm trying! Getting this out ASAP!!! Wanted to have it out earlier, but it was unavoidable. Comments are <3
"Aoi, Aoi dear...I miss you. You cannot see me now, but I can talk to you in your mind. Please live on, be happy without me. I love you, remember that always. I'm glad that I was the one that died, and not you. A world with no Aoi living in it is no world at all......I have to go now, but remember-I'm always here inside of you, watching over you."
My eyes snap open, my body shooting into a sitting position. I rub at my eyes to clear them, but I still don't see him, even though I know he was just here a moment ago, talking to me. I sense his presence in my room, I can still feel his caress on my cheek, his scent lingering on me.
"Uruha, don't go! Don't leave me again!" I call out, reaching in front of me, as if to catch him. If only. I collapse back onto my bed, sobbing softly into my pillow that has experienced the taste of my tears countless times.
This isn't the first time that something like this has happened to me. Over the past five months, my Uruha has visited me many times, talking to me inside my mind. It is wonderful while it's happening, but when he goes, I am filled with despair over losing him, yet again. I talk to him inside my mind a lot, although I don't know if he can actually hear it.
When I first lost Uruha I would tell everyone when he would speak to me, but everyone just thought I was crazy and it was a side affect of such a traumatic experience. Only Kai believed me. To this day, he is the only one that will listen to me when I speak of Uruha. He believes everything I say, I can tell. Uruha really is talking to me. Somehow, somewhere, he is alive. I will find him, if it's the last thing I do.
I wipe my tears away and open my eyes, thinking that I shouldn't wallow in my self-pity, that's not what Uruha would want. It is a bright new morning, and I will try my best to be happy with Kai, as it would benefit us all.
The smell of scrambled eggs fills my nostrils as I step out of my room. My mouth immediately waters; Kai's cooking is amazing, especially his scrambled eggs, my favorite! His food always cheers me up considerably, as does his presence. I run through the living room to the kitchen. A huge pile of scrambled eggs and toast are already heaped onto a huge plate in the middle of the table, ready for me and Kai to eat.
"Kai, this smells so good!" I trill, squishing Kai into a bear hug and kissing his cheek. I can always rely on Kai.
"Thanks! Better eat it while it's hot!" He sits opposite me at the table, and we both begin stuffing our faces immediately. This is just like old times. We used to have sleepovers and watch movies together, then in the morning Kai would cook and we would eat enough for ten people. I miss those days, the days when I was always truly happy.
We soon finish stuffing ourselves, and I pull him over into the living room, pulling him onto the huge fluffy couch with me. This is what we would always do next on our sleepovers-cuddle and talk. I intertwine my limbs with his, resting my head on his strong but thin chest.
"I've gotta fatten you up! Look at you, you're getting skinnier than me! If only I could cook, then I'd fatten you up like a little piglet in no time!!" I giggle, poking at his stomach. He has absolutely no body fat, and it's beginning to worry me.
"Aww, don't worry about me, I'm a big boy. I know what I'm doing." Kai laughs, nuzzling his nose into my hair and tickling my sides. "I think it's you that needs to fatten up. Thankfully I can cook, so don't worry Aoi, I'll have you nice and plump within days!"
I squeal and squirm, trying to get him to stop tickling me. But he won't, just like always, because he says he can't take my requests seriously when I'm laughing. He knows all of my weak spots, but I know all of his, too. I thrust my arms forward, tickling under his arms. He turns into a cute puddle of giggles, trying unsuccessfully to roll away from me.
Stomachs hurting from all the laughter, we cuddle. I am laying on top of him, massaging the back of his neck softly as he massages my lower back. It is times like these where I am completely happy again, and I can forget about my loss of Uruha. I wish times like these would last forever, but that's just not how the world works.
"Kai...they hate me, don't they?" I whisper, hiding my face in Kai's neck.
His grip on me tightens as he presses soft kisses along my ear. "No, I'm sure they don't......they're just...not strong enough to handle all of this, that's all." I know that he's lying so I won't get hurt. I know the truth, my parents hate me. They think I've gone completely off the deep end, so they stay away. They even bought a new house to live in so they wouldn't have to see me, although Kai tries to say that they are just on a business trip and will be back at my side soon.
They never really liked me that much to begin with. I was never particularly smart or athletic, just being a normal middle-of -the -road kid. And once they found out that I was gay......I could tell that I was a disappointment to them. Now, they wish that I would have died, so they wouldn't be stuck with the responsibility of taking care of a teenage boy that's gone crazy. They don't want the responsibility, so they leave me here, not caring if I really do die. They send me money every week, but I know they really don't care about me. Once again, I am extremely grateful for Kai. He is willing to put up with me and keep me company, when he could be doing many other better things.
Kai shifts on the couch, pulling me on top of him, stroking my hair gently. He kisses the tears that flow freely from my desolate eyes. He starts to hum a soft melody into my ear, the song that he made just for me. Whenever I get like this, he always hums this song to me, calming me down. He is the only one that can help me stop crying. He's the only one that cares enough to.
Once the last of my tears has dried, he sits up, shifting me onto his lap, winding his arms loosely around my waist. His lips drift lightly over my neck, making me giggle at the ticklish feeling. With all the strength in my body, I flip Kai into a lying position beneath me, making sure not to hurt him. I straddle his lower stomach and lean forward, lightly kissing his soft lips.
"Thank you Kai, for everything. Without you, I wouldn't be able to continue living. You don't know how much I appreciate everything you do for me. I know I don't say 'thank you' nearly as much as I should, but I'm saying it now. From the bottom of my heart, thank you." I run my fingers along his soft cheek, memorizing the smooth flawlessness of his skin. I smile my best smile at him, and I really mean it. Right now, with Kai, I am truly happy. I might be starting to heal. Maybe I really can live a happy life with Kai, loving him. He stares up at me in awe, completely mesmerized by the sight of my smile, something that I rarely show nowadays. I'll have to start smiling more, for him. I lower my head to rest in the crook of his neck, nuzzling my nose into his cheek. He kisses me softly, and we both slowly drift off into a light sleep, content to just lie here and nap together.
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"Hey Aoi, it's Wednesday." Kai whispers, playing with my obsidian locks.
"Hmmm...it is. Come on then, we gotta go to he florist, we need flowers for it." I reply, reluctantly getting off of Kai and stretching. The day had been pretty good so far, but this is something we have to do at least every Wednesday, although we end up doing it many more times throughout the week.
The sky is bright blue, it almost seems to be burning with the light of life. The wind whirls all around, playing with my dark hair. The sun sends it's warm light down onto me, making me think of summer days years ago, spent playing around in a grassy field with Kai, Uruha, and Reita. We all used to be the best of friends, but when me and Kai were thirteen, Reita was hit by a car and killed. All of us were devastated, but Kai had taken it the worst. Him and Reita were inseparable. Uruha and I stuck with Kai, trying our best to console him. With time, all heals. Kai healed from Reita, and eventually I will heal from Uruha. But me and Kai will always remember them fondly, they will always be living on in our hearts and memories.
Kai and I walk hand in hand to the florist's, enjoying the beautiful weather. I breathe deeply, trying to take all of the scenery into me, so I can remember it forever. Arriving at the florist's, Kai steps forward to talk to the owner of the shop.
"Can we have two bouquets of red chrysanthemum and adonis?" He asks, handing the old lady his money.
The lady, her beauty withered, looks at me and gasps. She runs to the back room, coming back quickly with the bouquets Kai ordered......and an extra flower. "Here" She gasps, handing me the purple flower. "For what is to come- Xeranthemum, for eternity and immortality." She hands Kai the two bouquets and looks one last time at me, scurrying away, almost as if she is frightened.
"What was that all about?? We ordered adonis for memories and red chrysanthemum for love, but a flower for immortality? What the heck?? Crazy old lady" I chuckle, grabbing Kai's hand and swinging it to the same tempo as our steps. I tuck the purple flower delicately behind my ear, being careful not to mar it. The flower is pretty, so even if it was given to me weirdly, I will keep it.
Kai laughs along with me. His dimple flashes as he smiles happily. "Yeah, she must be crazy-I mean, did you see how she ran away from us? How weird!" He squeezes my hand lightly, lifting his eyebrows in amusement.
We're at the gates of the cemetery now, and we enter without any fear; this place has become like a second home to us. We walk down the familiar pathway, not even having to think about the way to our destination. After so long, our bodies remember the way without our minds having to. We take a turn on the path, arriving at our destination. Under a great shady tree, lie our beloveds. Reita and Uruha, forever lying next to each other in this cemetery. I pick up the broom that I always keep here and sweep up, making sure that everything around their graves is clean and cobweb-free. Kai takes the withered bouquets from last week and throws them in a garbage bag, replacing them with the ones we just bought today.
Together, Kai and I lie down in between their graves. Kai is closest to Reita's grave and I am closest to Uruha's. We look up at the sky, talking in hushed tones about all the memories the four of us shared. This is what we do every Wednesday-talk to each other and our deceased loved ones.
When it starts to get dark we head back, smiling and laughing, still reveling in happy memories. I sing softly, a song without any particular tune, made out of the warm happiness inside of me. Back at home, we eat dinner and change into our pajamas, sitting down in the living room to watch a movie, one that I told Kai I wanted to see a while ago. He surprised me with it last night, and I decided to save it for tonight. I was so surprised when he handed it to me; I had told him about it only in passing a few weeks ago. I never expected him to remember and actually go out an look for it for me. He is too good for me, really.
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It's well past midnight now, and I just woke up. I was sleeping peacefully with Kai, but something is not right, I could sense it in my sleep. I tried to ignore it at first, but it grows stronger every second. Something, somewhere, is drawing me towards it. I don't want to leave Kai all alone in the night, but I know I have to. This will change everything, I can fee lit deep in my marrow.
I get up, giving Kai a soft goodbye kiss, being sure not to disturb his sleep. Quietly, I tiptoe to my window and look out over my street. Something is calling me, something out there. Not wanting to lose it's trail, I open my window and skillfully climb out and down to the ground, like I used to do all the time to meet up with Uruha, Kai, and Reita. What is this strong presence I feel? I'm sort of scared, but I don't care. I'll find out what's calling me, even if it's the last thing I do.
A/N: Oooooohhhh, I'm so excited!! I got this out as fast as I could :) It's short again, but I think that's just how it has to be for this fic. Short chapters are more manageable, allowing me to update faster. Not too much left, maybe two chapters-ish. I can't wait ^^
What do you think? What's luring Aoi??
Oh, I'm so excited for Halloween too! I'm going to be the mad hatter! A lot of my friends laugh at me for still wanting to dress up and go trick-or-treating, but Halloween is my favorite holiday! Also, I think that you're never to old for trick-or-treating!! Haha, I'm such a weirdo >_<" Oh well~~