Kiss 17
I don't know wtf this is. Blame akagasuki for wanting fluff (though this is more... crack?) and yaoi_hoshi for wanting stalker-disembodied-cellphone fic (well, at least, that's how it started, before kitty!Jae came along and kidnapped the uhm, non-existant plot). And me. For procrastinating when I really have a million and one things to do. :/
Yunho knew it was coming. He heard the door click open and creak ever so slightly. He didn’t think Jaejoong quite realised that all of them were onto his peculiar habit, and listened out for warning signs of a stalker-attack.
… Not that it wasn’t disconcerting at all, having to be hyper aware of what was going on while you were on the loo. Then again, nobody ever said that living with Jaejoong was an easy task. Between the surprise! pictures of them in the bathroom, to the mysterious relocation of any nice shirts, pants, accessories or shoes into Jaejoong’s bulging closet, to the near constant hogging of the bathroom mirror… Jae wasn’t exactly the easiest room mate. Though at times, he did provide them with some great entertainment. Usually at the expense of one of the other members, but still.
Unfortunately for Yunho, Jaejoong saw ‘cherished’ moments with Yunho has being slightly different from the other guys, and the ratio of naked to clothed pictures of himself that existed on Jaejoong’s phones was scarily even. He really wasn’t sure how his bare ass, getting out of the shower, was a ‘cherished’ memory, but he had to admit that it by far beat that time when Jaejoong had somehow whipped out his phone from nowhere in the middle of sex. And then he’d wondered why Yunho had held out on him for days afterwards.
But Yunho knew his lover’s weird little habits back to front now, and as the bathroom door opened ever so slowly, Yunho kept his eyes on the reflection of the door he could see in the mirror. The back square of Jae’s phone crept through the gap, a hand swivelling it towards the sound of the running sink.
Before the little shutter noise could go off, Yunho’s hand shot off to the side, grabbing the bottle beside the sink and spinning around, aiming it like a gun as he pressed the little green leaver on it madly.
Water sprayed out, covering the phone and hand in a not-so-fine mist. The disembodied arm jerked and there was a rather unmanly shriek from behind the door, and then a crashing thump.
Blinking, Yunho turned off the sink tap and moved over to the door, pushing it open slowly.
He found Jaejoong sprawled on the floor, leaning against the wall and spluttering.
“What the fuck Yunho?!” Jaejoong spat out, cradling his phone to his chest.
“Are you okay?” Yunho asked, mildly concerned that Jae had damaged himself while falling. This just brought on more spluttering.
“You sprayed me!” Jaejoong suddenly exclaimed, eyes going wide as he caught sight of the spray bottle still hanging from Yunho’s left hand. Jaejoong waved an accusing finger at it. Yunho looked down as well and blinked.
“Well, yes. I thought you could do with some training,” Yunho replied brightly. “Changmin gave me this book, and it says bad behaviour should be always punished with a spray bottle. ‘Repeated discipline should help eradicate the behaviour.’” He quoted.
Jaejoong’s eyes narrowed. He clutched his phone tighter and began hauling himself upright.
“You sprayed. My phone. To discipline me. Like a cat,” he spat. “MY PHONE!” he repeated, for extra, venomous, emphasis. Jaejoong’s voice had slowly dropped down to a hiss, and Yunho’s eyes darted around for the nearest exit. He thought about jumping back into the bathroom and barricading the door, but Jaejoong would just go around to the other door.
“Uhm.” He said, intelligently. He gave Jaejoong what he hoped was an adorable, winning smile.
Jaejoong’s eyes just narrowed even more, and he placed his phone very deliberately on the nearby table.
“Am I a cat, Yunho?” He asked, deceptively evenly. Yunho swallowed. Well. He was screwed either way, so why not just go the whole hog? He thought to himself. So he smiled again.
“Of course, Joongie. You’re my adorable little stalker kitty!” He chirruped, before smashing a brief kiss to Jaejoong's lips and then darting off like the hounds of hell were at his heels. The unexpected kiss stunned Jaejoong for a few crucial moments, before he was able to gather himself and make chase.
And then, Yunho had something much worse then the hounds of hell after him. He had a snarling, puffed up kitten with some very, very sharp claws.
Yunho knew it was coming. He heard the door click open and creak ever so slightly. He didn’t think Jaejoong quite realised that all of them were onto his peculiar habit, and listened out for warning signs of a stalker-attack.
… Not that it wasn’t disconcerting at all, having to be hyper aware of what was going on while you were on the loo. Then again, nobody ever said that living with Jaejoong was an easy task. Between the surprise! pictures of them in the bathroom, to the mysterious relocation of any nice shirts, pants, accessories or shoes into Jaejoong’s bulging closet, to the near constant hogging of the bathroom mirror… Jae wasn’t exactly the easiest room mate. Though at times, he did provide them with some great entertainment. Usually at the expense of one of the other members, but still.
Unfortunately for Yunho, Jaejoong saw ‘cherished’ moments with Yunho has being slightly different from the other guys, and the ratio of naked to clothed pictures of himself that existed on Jaejoong’s phones was scarily even. He really wasn’t sure how his bare ass, getting out of the shower, was a ‘cherished’ memory, but he had to admit that it by far beat that time when Jaejoong had somehow whipped out his phone from nowhere in the middle of sex. And then he’d wondered why Yunho had held out on him for days afterwards.
But Yunho knew his lover’s weird little habits back to front now, and as the bathroom door opened ever so slowly, Yunho kept his eyes on the reflection of the door he could see in the mirror. The back square of Jae’s phone crept through the gap, a hand swivelling it towards the sound of the running sink.
Before the little shutter noise could go off, Yunho’s hand shot off to the side, grabbing the bottle beside the sink and spinning around, aiming it like a gun as he pressed the little green leaver on it madly.
Water sprayed out, covering the phone and hand in a not-so-fine mist. The disembodied arm jerked and there was a rather unmanly shriek from behind the door, and then a crashing thump.
Blinking, Yunho turned off the sink tap and moved over to the door, pushing it open slowly.
He found Jaejoong sprawled on the floor, leaning against the wall and spluttering.
“What the fuck Yunho?!” Jaejoong spat out, cradling his phone to his chest.
“Are you okay?” Yunho asked, mildly concerned that Jae had damaged himself while falling. This just brought on more spluttering.
“You sprayed me!” Jaejoong suddenly exclaimed, eyes going wide as he caught sight of the spray bottle still hanging from Yunho’s left hand. Jaejoong waved an accusing finger at it. Yunho looked down as well and blinked.
“Well, yes. I thought you could do with some training,” Yunho replied brightly. “Changmin gave me this book, and it says bad behaviour should be always punished with a spray bottle. ‘Repeated discipline should help eradicate the behaviour.’” He quoted.
Jaejoong’s eyes narrowed. He clutched his phone tighter and began hauling himself upright.
“You sprayed. My phone. To discipline me. Like a cat,” he spat. “MY PHONE!” he repeated, for extra, venomous, emphasis. Jaejoong’s voice had slowly dropped down to a hiss, and Yunho’s eyes darted around for the nearest exit. He thought about jumping back into the bathroom and barricading the door, but Jaejoong would just go around to the other door.
“Uhm.” He said, intelligently. He gave Jaejoong what he hoped was an adorable, winning smile.
Jaejoong’s eyes just narrowed even more, and he placed his phone very deliberately on the nearby table.
“Am I a cat, Yunho?” He asked, deceptively evenly. Yunho swallowed. Well. He was screwed either way, so why not just go the whole hog? He thought to himself. So he smiled again.
“Of course, Joongie. You’re my adorable little stalker kitty!” He chirruped, before smashing a brief kiss to Jaejoong's lips and then darting off like the hounds of hell were at his heels. The unexpected kiss stunned Jaejoong for a few crucial moments, before he was able to gather himself and make chase.
And then, Yunho had something much worse then the hounds of hell after him. He had a snarling, puffed up kitten with some very, very sharp claws.