Harry Who?

[orionrioniononn]

As I join the legions of webloggers writing about Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, I must say, SPOILER ALERT.  This review was written after watching the movie twice (yes, in one day); my opinion of it did improve after watching it the second time (maybe because I had Ketty with whom I could mock and scoff about the movie).  Also, I do realize that a lot of my misgivings are with the unavoidable, yet drastic detractions from the book that this series takes, but I do affirm that I have valid criticisms as well.

That said, I will be mean, but fair.  Two and a half hours is a respectable and admirable goal for a book of 734 pages (I did just look that up) -- however, I would have been willing to sit through another half hour if it meant more allegiance to the textual roots of the movie, although, I guess my elementary school-age counterparts, which are probably a more important demographic than I am, would beg to differ.

Only the fourth movie in the Harry Potter series, is already on its third director, and with this new director, it leaves a distinct flavor in your mouth, of course.  But, also of course, is my disagreement with the scenes that have made it into the movie and as an added bonus this time, the sequencing of them.  To easily encapsulate my feeling, let me simply say, "WHERE DID THE QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP GO?"  No joke, I glanced around wondering where the World Cup went.  I tried to assuage my anxiety by telling myself that they probably had to cut down on this to make room for exciting scenes in the Triwizard Tournament, but this as it turned out was an unfounded hope; in fact, it was the first intimation that a series of disappointments was to follow, of which cut characters (e.g., Ludo Bagman, Winky, Dobby, Billy, Percy, Charlie, Mrs. Weasley, etc.) and erased and adapted plotlines (e.g., house-elf "enslavement," Barty Crouch being under the Imperious Curse, Barty Crouch, Jr. being present at the beginning, etc.) were the least of my concerns.

One redeeming aspect of the movie was its humor, though, which although all four movies have had the same screenwriter, I've never known the movie to be that funny, as my friend Karen says.

By the way, when the actors regain their acting skills, please let me know, so that I do not have to sit through another melodramatic, WB-esque sob scene of Hermione Granger or another dry, poorly delivered speech by Albus Dumbledore.  Really.  What happened?  I would like to know.  Are their skills littering the editing room floor like the Quidditch World Cup?


Stephen and I have a conversation:
KENetic Motion: me and harry potter have the same hair
Stephen: haha
KENetic Motion: we're both messy brunettes
Stephen: cept.. he's got magic
KENetic Motion: long and "untamed"
KENetic Motion: uhhh...how do you know i don't have magic, too?
KENetic Motion: i go to the smith school for wizards and witches
KENetic Motion: that's an american name, right?
Stephen: haha
Stephen: in salem?
KENetic Motion: uhhh...duh!
KENetic Motion: i know you wish you weren't a squid, but i think we may allow you to be a groundskeeper if you want
Stephen: haha
Stephen: i'm a muggle
KENetic Motion: oops, then i'm gonna have to memory charm ya
KENetic Motion: memoria forgetus!
Stephen: thas a fake spell
Stephen: you sham artist
KENetic Motion: whatever, muggle, as if you'd know
KENetic Motion: i mean, what are you talking about?
KENetic Motion: spell?
KENetic Motion: [sigh] i'ma have to charm you again
KENetic Motion: memoria forgetus!
Stephen: haha.. we're such geek
Stephen: i mean.. ur such a geek
KENetic Motion: i hope this doesn't have carcinogenic effects
KENetic Motion: hahah...you say as i say the above

Ketty and I have a conversation about this conversation:
Ketty: memoria forgetus?
Ketty: hahaha
KENetic Motion: what? that's not latin?
KENetic Motion: oh, no, wait! we know the memory charm! obliviata?
KENetic Motion: isn't that it?
Ketty: um...dunno
KENetic Motion: hmmm...i'm gonna go check
Ketty: did you find it?
Ketty: i think oblivate is a spell
KENetic Motion: yes!
KENetic Motion: hahah, i knew it! lockhart says it
Ketty: yes?
KENetic Motion: in the chamber of secrets
Ketty: oooh
Ketty: good research!
KENetic Motion: thanks
Ketty: is it oblivatea?
KENetic Motion: nope, just obliviate
KENetic Motion: i remember thinking...i guess that sounds like to forget
KENetic Motion: in spanish
Ketty: yeah
Ketty: i bet that's how she got it
KENetic Motion: for sure
Ketty: so...what do you think the deal with snape is?
KENetic Motion: i don't know!
KENetic Motion: i wish i knew!!!!!
KENetic Motion: what did you say about dumbledore's perception of snape v. barty-as-moody
Ketty: you said it
Ketty: that if he can't even pick up on polyjuice potion, how can we trust him on snape!
KENetic Motion: do you think they made this movie knowing that you know snape kills dumbledore later?
Ketty: but i mean, she needs a character to be redeemed
Ketty: yes
KENetic Motion: i agree -- like when he advises that harry should go on
Ketty: i know that j.k. shares information with the director from future books if it will help influence the movie
KENetic Motion: i guess that would make for good writing, that is, a redeemed character
Ketty: yeah
KENetic Motion: i see
Ketty: or they know that snape will have an important part later
KENetic Motion: hey, btw
Ketty: so there are those shots wen you have snape giving funny looks to people
KENetic Motion: did we ever discuss this: could dumbledore have done the same thing as voldemort and split his soul?
KENetic Motion: right right!
KENetic Motion: i know that it's something more evil people would do since it's bad to split your soul
Ketty: he would have to kill someone
KENetic Motion: but maybe he did and told snape that he did so that snape could have the perfect alibi for going back
KENetic Motion: oh, right.
Ketty: i don't think that's where jk is going
KENetic Motion: yeah, probably not
Ketty: i hope it's not something dumb
Ketty: like snape loooooooooooooooooves somebody
KENetic Motion: i forgot about the murdering aspect
KENetic Motion: hahah, what?
KENetic Motion: like who?
KENetic Motion: that beatrix girl?
Ketty: i don't know
Ketty: lily potter?
KENetic Motion: hahah
KENetic Motion: doubtful
Ketty: i'm just saying
KENetic Motion: although, now that i say it's doubtful
KENetic Motion: it gives me more reason to believe it
Ketty: haha
KENetic Motion: i'm so confused
Ketty: i mean, goblet of fire had that good twist at the end
KENetic Motion: someone's put a confundus hex on me
Ketty: so hopefully the 7th will too
KENetic Motion: goblet of fire or half-blood prince?
KENetic Motion: and i thought 7th was last?
Ketty: yeah
Ketty: unless her publisher is like, surprise!
KENetic Motion: hahah
Ketty: hogwarts lasts for 12 years!
Ketty: it includes college!
KENetic Motion: hopefully, the 7th just ends it
KENetic Motion: hahaha
Ketty: i bet we all didn't see that coming
KENetic Motion: well, my fear if they did that would be that it'd be like saved by the bell
KENetic Motion: where the college years sucked
Ketty: haha
Ketty: i don't think they will
KENetic Motion: heh, nor i
KENetic Motion: and this time, my belief did not increase because of my doubt
Ketty: i just hope the 7th one is good though
KENetic Motion: me, too
KENetic Motion: how do you end a series like this?
KENetic Motion: ok, obviously, harry will win
KENetic Motion: will there be anymore suffering?
Ketty: and voldemort will die
Ketty: but how?
KENetic Motion: right
Ketty: i feel like important people will help
Ketty: and the snape thing
KENetic Motion: is sirius dead?
Ketty: i guess so
KENetic Motion: i forget, what happened to him
Ketty: he fell through that arch thing
KENetic Motion: oh, right
Ketty: it was dumb
KENetic Motion: will they all come back as ghosts and help him again?
Ketty: in the end we'll find out it was all just harry's drea
KENetic Motion: HA
KENetic Motion: or a computer generated tale
Ketty: haha yeah
Ketty: i'm sure that will go over so well
KENetic Motion: hahah
KENetic Motion: it'd be so great if that's what she did, though
KENetic Motion: or if she wrote it and there was no ending! only an ending she left in her will to be published posthumously!
KENetic Motion: hahah, you'd read and read and read and then you'd get closer to the end and feel like there are not enough pages left
KENetic Motion: to finish telling the story
KENetic Motion: and suddenly, there ARE no pages left.
KENetic Motion: and you're like, whaaaaaat?
Ketty: hahahaha
Ketty: and it'll be a really dramatic spot too
Ketty: but then, voldemort staggered to his feet again, still not defeated!
Ketty: end
KENetic Motion: fin!
Ketty: that willbe greaaaaaaaaat
Ketty: and then the fan fic people will go CRAZY
KENetic Motion: hahah
Ketty: or if voldemort died
Ketty: and all the people he killed were brought back to life
Ketty: or like the narnia ending
KENetic Motion: and then they keep trying to go further in and further up?
Ketty: is that it?
KENetic Motion: i think so
Ketty: the one where they're happily ever after in paradise?
KENetic Motion: right
Ketty: and their parents are alive again
Ketty: but susan isn't there
Ketty: because she is a biooooooootch

And a little bit after normal conversation, because my illness is so persistent, I continued talking about Harry Potter:KENetic Motion: you know, i also felt gypped in the third test in the triwizard tourny
Ketty: me too
KENetic Motion: there was no sphinx
KENetic Motion: no blast-ended skrewts
Ketty: although...i also thought it was scarier with the silence
KENetic Motion: eh
Ketty: oh, i also thought it was dumb
KENetic Motion: but i would've enjoyed some obstalces
Ketty: that they tried to make it like a mystery
Ketty: or thriller type deal
KENetic Motion: what do you mean?
KENetic Motion: the maze scene?
Ketty: but like, didn't set up enough stuff
Ketty: no
Ketty: in general
KENetic Motion: oh, right
Ketty: like with barty crouch
KENetic Motion: not enough clues
Ketty: and karkaroff going into the gof room
Ketty: i know!
KENetic Motion: no, i think they actually dropped the clues
Ketty: and not enough freaking payoff!
KENetic Motion: but there wasn't any piecing it together
Ketty: exactly
KENetic Motion: by the characters
Ketty: like a couple crazed sentences by crouch is not going to cut it
KENetic Motion: i know, right?!!?
Ketty: i mean
Ketty: in the book it unravels sooooooo nicely
KENetic Motion: and a stupid "dark and difficult times" does not qualify as explanation
Ketty: i knoW!!!
KENetic Motion: well, part of the problem was that they cut out parts of the book
Ketty: and they didn't even explain what happened with crouch which i also thought was interesting
Ketty: well yes
Ketty: but i feel like they could have cut parts out and still set things up correctly
KENetic Motion: right, but that's because he didn't need anything to happen to him
KENetic Motion: cus he wasn't even under the imperious curse
KENetic Motion: in the movie, which he was in the book
KENetic Motion: and no charlie, or percy or bill
KENetic Motion: and no mrs. weasley
Ketty: no i mean crouch jr
Ketty: i know!
Ketty: do you think those actors were like wtf?!
Ketty: do you think they didn't add dobby to save on special effects budget?
KENetic Motion: probably
KENetic Motion: cus they had to pay cho chang and the indian girls
KENetic Motion: and cedric
KENetic Motion: and angelina
Ketty: yeah
Ketty: yeah really
KENetic Motion: and fred and george got bigger parts
Ketty: what was up with that?
Ketty: was that to set up the fred asking her out?!!!
KENetic Motion: hahah
KENetic Motion: not in that way
Ketty: they're funny though
KENetic Motion: yeah
KENetic Motion: they were much better than i remembered
Ketty: well i guess since they are twins
Ketty: they probably just have good chemistry
Ketty: and like if they were going for a thriller with barty crouch
Ketty: why not include more about his back story? like with winky? argh
KENetic Motion: right right
Ketty: ANYWAY
Ketty: who is doing order of the phoenix? because i hope they don't suck
Ketty: because that book isn't as good anyway
KENetic Motion: i think imdb has the same director, different screenwriter
Ketty: hmmm
Ketty: i wonder what jk thinks of the movies?
KENetic Motion: i wonder if she is as disappointed as i am or just washing away her disappointment with her money
Ketty: i know right
Ketty: she's thinking that she could finance a remake in about 5 years
KENetic Motion: hahah
KENetic Motion: with actors who won't grow uglier as they get older?
Ketty: aww, i don't think they're ugly
KENetic Motion: hahah
Ketty: they're just...awkawrd looking
KENetic Motion: how old are they in real life?
Ketty: i think they're a little older than harry's supposed to be
KENetic Motion: cus for 14, i guess it's fine to be awkward-looking
KENetic Motion: the boys just need a haircut -- bad
Ketty: yeah
KENetic Motion: like i think i'll be able to handle that harry does not have messy hair anymore as he grows older
Ketty: is there something in the book about the weasly boys' hair?
KENetic Motion: that's the thing, i don't think so
KENetic Motion: so i don't understand why they allllll let it grow out
Ketty: i kno
Ketty: maybe one of them was like, i won't cut it! just make the others do it too

[sigh] I'm pathetic, I know.  But at least now I can focus on The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and Memoirs of a Geisha.