Meliora
"You hit your wall," my manager said. "You felt how they felt. Then you hit your wall, and since then you've done a 180." I didn't know it was that obvious. It's one thing to say you don't care what your employees think of you and to know that it rationally shouldn't matter, but it's an entirely different thing to actually not give a shit. The one time when detaching myself is actually a functional (and necessary) action.
I had about eleven "records of conversation" with employees when I realized that no one was getting to work on time. I also handed out two final written warnings about different issues that have been ongoing. I'm already submitting all my paperwork to terminate one person's employment. The other is a hair's breadth away from the same situation. And though in the back of my mind, I recognize how badly this is going to impact those people's lives - they're both in precarious financial situations with some serious health concerns - I need to run the clinic safely. And that means having employees who live up to expectations, for the safety of everyone. I've done my due diligence and given them plenty of opportunities. GAME OVER. It seems like people are just looking for an excuse to be fired. I would not be surprised that after the first termination, people realize that just because I don't run around barking at people, I still expect them to get the shit done that I ask them to do.
Today I finally decided to compile a running "reminders list" of all the different things I need to do, so that I don't have my life on sticky notes. I counted up about 30 different projects that are ongoing in my job on a daily basis. Each entry on the list is something like "figure out how to get RNs trained to do xyz skill and then figure out how to implement it in our schedule," rather than something simple. I'm a little staggered at the sheer amount of multitasking that I've been doing, and I'm a little shocked that I manage to accomplish anything whatsoever.
On the bright side, I was recently told by the VP in an email that I'm an "up and coming leader." I seriously considered printing out that email, highlighting the phrase, cutting it out, and pasting it to my palm, so I can look at it frequently. It's the little things sometimes . . .
Next up is tackling the older nurses who don't like change. I wish that meant literally tackling, but alas. I might actually have to give one of those "either you're on board or you should look for a job elsewhere" speeches. But seriously . . . get on the bus or go home. Today I distributed information on "intimidating and disruptive behavior" which specifically lists undermining, passive aggressiveness, and quiet non-cooperativeness as behaviors which won't be tolerated. Now that they know it's unacceptable behavior, I can hold them accountable. I never knew how awesome setting the expectations could be. (Is this what it's like to be a parent?)
The crappiest part is that my previous supervisor is one of the worst violators of this. I'm actually going to have to sit down my last boss and tell her what's up - which is that I'm the supervisor now, for better or worse, and she has to live up to my expectations rather than impose her own. And why is this so damned difficult? I am dreading this conversation like you would not believe. Though . . . she's twice my age, could pretty much be my own mother, has 20 more years of experience than me, and is largely responsible for the fact that I ever got hired in the clinic. So I guess I have good reason to dread it. At the same time . . . she should know better. Her childish behavior has GOT to go.
The best part of this week was when my "project," as I call her (one of the MAs that I meet with one-on-one to mentor) pulled me aside to tell me a success story of how she handled a difficult situation and helped to mentor another new employee in the process. She got a little choked up when she told me how she feels herself changing into a better employee and a better person, and she thinks it's partly because of me. That's . . . pretty freaking awesome. For the first time since I took this job, I feel pretty darn good about myself.
It's starting to get a little brighter . . .
I had about eleven "records of conversation" with employees when I realized that no one was getting to work on time. I also handed out two final written warnings about different issues that have been ongoing. I'm already submitting all my paperwork to terminate one person's employment. The other is a hair's breadth away from the same situation. And though in the back of my mind, I recognize how badly this is going to impact those people's lives - they're both in precarious financial situations with some serious health concerns - I need to run the clinic safely. And that means having employees who live up to expectations, for the safety of everyone. I've done my due diligence and given them plenty of opportunities. GAME OVER. It seems like people are just looking for an excuse to be fired. I would not be surprised that after the first termination, people realize that just because I don't run around barking at people, I still expect them to get the shit done that I ask them to do.
Today I finally decided to compile a running "reminders list" of all the different things I need to do, so that I don't have my life on sticky notes. I counted up about 30 different projects that are ongoing in my job on a daily basis. Each entry on the list is something like "figure out how to get RNs trained to do xyz skill and then figure out how to implement it in our schedule," rather than something simple. I'm a little staggered at the sheer amount of multitasking that I've been doing, and I'm a little shocked that I manage to accomplish anything whatsoever.
On the bright side, I was recently told by the VP in an email that I'm an "up and coming leader." I seriously considered printing out that email, highlighting the phrase, cutting it out, and pasting it to my palm, so I can look at it frequently. It's the little things sometimes . . .
Next up is tackling the older nurses who don't like change. I wish that meant literally tackling, but alas. I might actually have to give one of those "either you're on board or you should look for a job elsewhere" speeches. But seriously . . . get on the bus or go home. Today I distributed information on "intimidating and disruptive behavior" which specifically lists undermining, passive aggressiveness, and quiet non-cooperativeness as behaviors which won't be tolerated. Now that they know it's unacceptable behavior, I can hold them accountable. I never knew how awesome setting the expectations could be. (Is this what it's like to be a parent?)
The crappiest part is that my previous supervisor is one of the worst violators of this. I'm actually going to have to sit down my last boss and tell her what's up - which is that I'm the supervisor now, for better or worse, and she has to live up to my expectations rather than impose her own. And why is this so damned difficult? I am dreading this conversation like you would not believe. Though . . . she's twice my age, could pretty much be my own mother, has 20 more years of experience than me, and is largely responsible for the fact that I ever got hired in the clinic. So I guess I have good reason to dread it. At the same time . . . she should know better. Her childish behavior has GOT to go.
The best part of this week was when my "project," as I call her (one of the MAs that I meet with one-on-one to mentor) pulled me aside to tell me a success story of how she handled a difficult situation and helped to mentor another new employee in the process. She got a little choked up when she told me how she feels herself changing into a better employee and a better person, and she thinks it's partly because of me. That's . . . pretty freaking awesome. For the first time since I took this job, I feel pretty darn good about myself.
It's starting to get a little brighter . . .