Ponderings
One more week before this semester is over, and I could NOT be more thrilled about it. These two classes have been . . . well, painful is a gross understatement. I don't think I've ever been so utterly bored by learning that I would seriously consider just skipping assignments altogether. Many times have I looked to see what the bare minimum was that I needed to get a decent grade, but I haven't usually considered skipping major assignments altogether. But this time, honestly . . . fuckit, I just need to pass these classes, that's it. And even then, my brain completely freezes when I force it to think about nursing policy/theory. "Oh no, you're not subjecting me to THAT boring bullshit again," it seems to say. It feels like a serious case of senioritis, but with graduation nowhere in sight.
And since it's the end of the semester and I have had approximately 329,845,984,543 projects due over the last 6 weeks, I pretty much have done nothing but do homework and go to work. I have seen no one other than my husband and have ventured almost nowhere other than the hospital and my apartment. "Claustrophobic" and "lonely" comes to mind. The worst part is, there's nothing I can do about it . . . for now.
Consequently, my fantasies have consisted primarily of finishing this degree as fast as possible and getting the hell out of here. (Erick was all " . . . THAT'S what you daydream about?" Yes. Yes it is. He thinks that's boring; I think it's exhilarating.) I don't see us staying here long term, much as I may have come to love this place. I think about going to Ithaca. Or Rochester. Or California. Or Arizona. I don't know, just someplace else. There have been more than a few insinuations that maybe I'll come back to UCH as a midwife, and my gut reaction is usually like "Ha! Fat chance." I don't know why I feel that way . . . but I follow my intuition. It hasn't led me wrong yet, in 26 years. Maybe it's just the Aquarius in me, looking for a change, but I feel like I'm coming to the end of the life lesson that is Colorado. Maybe I'm wrong. I guess time will tell.
In the meantime, I'm missing my friends and family like crazy. Wherever you are, I'm thinking of you, and wishing I was there, too. Much love.
And since it's the end of the semester and I have had approximately 329,845,984,543 projects due over the last 6 weeks, I pretty much have done nothing but do homework and go to work. I have seen no one other than my husband and have ventured almost nowhere other than the hospital and my apartment. "Claustrophobic" and "lonely" comes to mind. The worst part is, there's nothing I can do about it . . . for now.
Consequently, my fantasies have consisted primarily of finishing this degree as fast as possible and getting the hell out of here. (Erick was all " . . . THAT'S what you daydream about?" Yes. Yes it is. He thinks that's boring; I think it's exhilarating.) I don't see us staying here long term, much as I may have come to love this place. I think about going to Ithaca. Or Rochester. Or California. Or Arizona. I don't know, just someplace else. There have been more than a few insinuations that maybe I'll come back to UCH as a midwife, and my gut reaction is usually like "Ha! Fat chance." I don't know why I feel that way . . . but I follow my intuition. It hasn't led me wrong yet, in 26 years. Maybe it's just the Aquarius in me, looking for a change, but I feel like I'm coming to the end of the life lesson that is Colorado. Maybe I'm wrong. I guess time will tell.
In the meantime, I'm missing my friends and family like crazy. Wherever you are, I'm thinking of you, and wishing I was there, too. Much love.