collection of random thoughts
Saw Eat, Pray Love today in theaters, it was awesome. like rock my world awesome, but then I expected it to be. it makes me long/yearn for a life changing journey like that. *sigh*
So thoughts:
First, I've decided that being jobless feels like freedom to me. I feel released and happy. I feel like myself again, including the strong desire to be dating ;) . However, there is always a but or a however, I feel like something is wrong or missing. It's like I was released from hell, but then I had no idea which direction to run. I am a deer in headlights. stuck at the fork in the road, too afraid to travel down any path.
And it's not like I'm completely lost. I have started to think about what I want next. I want a job that will make me happy and let me use my people skills and let me stay in the world of my passion (space exploration, preferably manned). I've thought maybe NASA public affairs, which probably requires more schooling. I've got a lot of ideas. then of course there is the obvious thought that when you are jobless...FIND A JOB!
I don't necessarily want to do the obvious anymore though. at the moment I am happy just to be...now if only I can remove the lingering guilt that I should be doing more. I just feel stuck and confused and terrified. I've never been afraid to put in the leg work before, I mean hell I made it through the Aero Eng degree. I just can't step forward yet...it's like I'm standing on a cliff and I refuse to jump. I always did hate heights.
I want a sign. I want a direction. I want guidance. And I want someone next to me to push me kicking and screaming into the next whatever.
is that too much to ask?
Second, if I had to pick a word that is me (or at least me most of the time) it would be Shiny or Radiant. I chose this because when I'm at my best I truly glow with happiness, love and passionate...there is just no containing it. And I think this is a wonderful quality about me. It's my energy overflowing out of me and I just want to send that good energy to everyone I meet, especially my good friends and family. I am Shiny, I am Radiant.
Third, part of me really wants to start dating again. it's funny b/c I knew I was back to my normal self when I realized that I hated being single. it's so me to be boycrazy. however I know it hasn't done me much good either. *shrug* I'm not actively seeking, but I am open to the possibility. come what may....and by that I mean come this way cute/sexy man ;)
that is all for now,
Chris
So thoughts:
First, I've decided that being jobless feels like freedom to me. I feel released and happy. I feel like myself again, including the strong desire to be dating ;) . However, there is always a but or a however, I feel like something is wrong or missing. It's like I was released from hell, but then I had no idea which direction to run. I am a deer in headlights. stuck at the fork in the road, too afraid to travel down any path.
And it's not like I'm completely lost. I have started to think about what I want next. I want a job that will make me happy and let me use my people skills and let me stay in the world of my passion (space exploration, preferably manned). I've thought maybe NASA public affairs, which probably requires more schooling. I've got a lot of ideas. then of course there is the obvious thought that when you are jobless...FIND A JOB!
I don't necessarily want to do the obvious anymore though. at the moment I am happy just to be...now if only I can remove the lingering guilt that I should be doing more. I just feel stuck and confused and terrified. I've never been afraid to put in the leg work before, I mean hell I made it through the Aero Eng degree. I just can't step forward yet...it's like I'm standing on a cliff and I refuse to jump. I always did hate heights.
I want a sign. I want a direction. I want guidance. And I want someone next to me to push me kicking and screaming into the next whatever.
is that too much to ask?
Second, if I had to pick a word that is me (or at least me most of the time) it would be Shiny or Radiant. I chose this because when I'm at my best I truly glow with happiness, love and passionate...there is just no containing it. And I think this is a wonderful quality about me. It's my energy overflowing out of me and I just want to send that good energy to everyone I meet, especially my good friends and family. I am Shiny, I am Radiant.
Third, part of me really wants to start dating again. it's funny b/c I knew I was back to my normal self when I realized that I hated being single. it's so me to be boycrazy. however I know it hasn't done me much good either. *shrug* I'm not actively seeking, but I am open to the possibility. come what may....and by that I mean come this way cute/sexy man ;)
that is all for now,
Chris