Realizations and Goals
quick entry...so not much time to explain.
realized lately that I have 2 main problems, that are bigger than the rest and new immediate attention.
1. Confidence
realization: low self esteem, lack of confidence, not liking myself very much, fear and expectations of failure...how ever you phrase it, all this lack and negative is make my life hell. I'm a determined, smart, hard working and loving person who can accomplish anything I want IF and only IF I believe in myself.
Goal: It's not a light bulb kind of thing...I work hard at everything I do, but I don't work hard on myself. It's time for that to change! and with baby steps. set small goals for myself and achieve a little at a time. As much as I hate it, I'm going to have to train myself to think positively about myself. I used to think that writing down positive crap was lying, but I'm not lying about anything. eg I am a dreamer, I am smart, I am funny, I am inspired and hopeful...all these things are true, some of them can even been proven. If I were not smart there is no way in hell I would have gotten a degree in aerospace engineering with a 3.61 gpa...no amount of hard work would have made up for my lack of smarts. therefore I am smart.
back on track. I think if I can spend just 1/2 hour a day working on positive thoughts about myself then that is an excellent start. I have to remind myself all the wonderful things I've done and how I did and all the wonderful quailities I have...and find another adjective that means wonderful ;)
2. Organization
(my mom would die of happiness if I can achieve this one)
realization: organization effects every part of my life; my job, my house, my time management, my social time, my side projects
I thought I was good at organizing; and to some extent I am (positive thinking ;) ) but I need to improve it. I am a slob and I think that effects everything too. I like order and structure, so if I can try to implent that in everything I think my life will be a lot easier.
Goal: make a schedule, execute the schedule... clean my house in small increments and then keep it clean. introduce order to my things and put things back where they belong. reduce my clutter!!! and reducing clutter will be my hardest task, but also most important. I don't intend to become a minimalist, but after see just a few short scenes (fictional even) about a hoarder I've decide that I have got to start throwing things away! lol, TV does not rot your brain, it shows you important lessons :P
Gotta go get ready for Yoga and meeting a new kitty cat....ttyl
~Chris
realized lately that I have 2 main problems, that are bigger than the rest and new immediate attention.
1. Confidence
realization: low self esteem, lack of confidence, not liking myself very much, fear and expectations of failure...how ever you phrase it, all this lack and negative is make my life hell. I'm a determined, smart, hard working and loving person who can accomplish anything I want IF and only IF I believe in myself.
Goal: It's not a light bulb kind of thing...I work hard at everything I do, but I don't work hard on myself. It's time for that to change! and with baby steps. set small goals for myself and achieve a little at a time. As much as I hate it, I'm going to have to train myself to think positively about myself. I used to think that writing down positive crap was lying, but I'm not lying about anything. eg I am a dreamer, I am smart, I am funny, I am inspired and hopeful...all these things are true, some of them can even been proven. If I were not smart there is no way in hell I would have gotten a degree in aerospace engineering with a 3.61 gpa...no amount of hard work would have made up for my lack of smarts. therefore I am smart.
back on track. I think if I can spend just 1/2 hour a day working on positive thoughts about myself then that is an excellent start. I have to remind myself all the wonderful things I've done and how I did and all the wonderful quailities I have...and find another adjective that means wonderful ;)
2. Organization
(my mom would die of happiness if I can achieve this one)
realization: organization effects every part of my life; my job, my house, my time management, my social time, my side projects
I thought I was good at organizing; and to some extent I am (positive thinking ;) ) but I need to improve it. I am a slob and I think that effects everything too. I like order and structure, so if I can try to implent that in everything I think my life will be a lot easier.
Goal: make a schedule, execute the schedule... clean my house in small increments and then keep it clean. introduce order to my things and put things back where they belong. reduce my clutter!!! and reducing clutter will be my hardest task, but also most important. I don't intend to become a minimalist, but after see just a few short scenes (fictional even) about a hoarder I've decide that I have got to start throwing things away! lol, TV does not rot your brain, it shows you important lessons :P
Gotta go get ready for Yoga and meeting a new kitty cat....ttyl
~Chris