(no subject)
Okay, I haven't posted in a long time but I think thats its high time.
School started last week and its been very real. I graduate in June. I can't believe it. I feel like I just got here and would like another year, yet at the same time feel like I want to get out into the world and do it. Right now I am going through all these emotions that are Meisner related I'm told, its "normal" to be feeling this way, like a water ballon in a safetly pin factory.
At one point I want to be this professional, but at the same time I want to be free with myself and I'm doing both, its working I think, the program is pushing me through this- like life would once I get out I guess. I just need to stop being afarid and take changes with my work and with my life. Speaking of life, This May--- I will have to have my own place, my health insurance will now read as independant instead of dependant and I don't know how I am going to pay for that-- none the less a job that pays for rent since I am right now in the process ( I need to work on that today) of finding another internship-- one in the direction that I want to take.
I don't know. If I need to save anyone I need to save myself.
I'm getting headshots soon- which means that I need to get more healthy which is fine, I need to book one of two photographers that I like. This 'dream' of being an actor is very real now. I think that I'll be ready, I'm told that I have a good 'look' and will be very marketable so atleast I"ve got that and then talent to support it.
Life is a bit hectic right now. I feel like I'm finally getting to know myself. Yes. I'm getting a hang of it I think.
Last night these two guys came up to my friend and I at a coffee shop, I didn't want to engage in conversation but she joined in and I just can't believe where it ended up, into this big dramatic scene on the street with two strangers who I never wanted to talk to in the first place. I've already been burned once by someone who wanted me to be in his 'movie' these guys were promising headshots for cheap and he's directing a movie with boy george in March, I am so tired of people coming up to girls just because we're young and pretty. There is so much bullshit in the world. This time I had my guard up and didn't play, hey, I just moved to the city and want to be a star, sure I'll have dinner with you. It sounds silly, but until you're in the moment you can't know its like to be around someone who seems to have all the power and you just fold. I'll never do that again.
School started last week and its been very real. I graduate in June. I can't believe it. I feel like I just got here and would like another year, yet at the same time feel like I want to get out into the world and do it. Right now I am going through all these emotions that are Meisner related I'm told, its "normal" to be feeling this way, like a water ballon in a safetly pin factory.
At one point I want to be this professional, but at the same time I want to be free with myself and I'm doing both, its working I think, the program is pushing me through this- like life would once I get out I guess. I just need to stop being afarid and take changes with my work and with my life. Speaking of life, This May--- I will have to have my own place, my health insurance will now read as independant instead of dependant and I don't know how I am going to pay for that-- none the less a job that pays for rent since I am right now in the process ( I need to work on that today) of finding another internship-- one in the direction that I want to take.
I don't know. If I need to save anyone I need to save myself.
I'm getting headshots soon- which means that I need to get more healthy which is fine, I need to book one of two photographers that I like. This 'dream' of being an actor is very real now. I think that I'll be ready, I'm told that I have a good 'look' and will be very marketable so atleast I"ve got that and then talent to support it.
Life is a bit hectic right now. I feel like I'm finally getting to know myself. Yes. I'm getting a hang of it I think.
Last night these two guys came up to my friend and I at a coffee shop, I didn't want to engage in conversation but she joined in and I just can't believe where it ended up, into this big dramatic scene on the street with two strangers who I never wanted to talk to in the first place. I've already been burned once by someone who wanted me to be in his 'movie' these guys were promising headshots for cheap and he's directing a movie with boy george in March, I am so tired of people coming up to girls just because we're young and pretty. There is so much bullshit in the world. This time I had my guard up and didn't play, hey, I just moved to the city and want to be a star, sure I'll have dinner with you. It sounds silly, but until you're in the moment you can't know its like to be around someone who seems to have all the power and you just fold. I'll never do that again.