almost halloween!

Nov 29, 2006 00:13

So its midnight, saturday night. and all that I want to do is go to bed and wake up rested. I had plans- but I'd rather sleep.

The New York Social scene hasn't seen much of me yet but it will soon. Part of me really wants to go out and be crazy right now and the other part wants to sit on my accomplishments for the night and wake up without bags under my eyes. I really enjoy my work ( paid or not, lol) And I love school. Money is another issue :/

Its strange, I don't know exaxtly how I'm feeling right now. I don't know how to use this new enegery, its like I'm opening up- which is a big thing, I had this breakdown in class the other day. I had been waking up for and couldn't breath for no logical reason and then in class when my partner had a smilar, but much much smaller breakdown- I couldn't hold it in and just cried, the scene worked out pretty well I believe- I need to watch the tape still. It had little to no emotional strings to it- I don't know.

I've just been feeling very off, new maybe. I'm not sure. I need to sleep on it, I feel like I need to move it forward. Maybe I'm starting to believe in myself, trust my judgment. I've stopped 'looking' for someone and starting looking at myself. Its on and off tho. Sometimes I'm great and progressive and sometimes I start to watch myself again. Atleast theres an on with the off tho, I've got that.

I feel like doing something now. I'm not sure what. I feel like going running but that isn't going to happen. boo. I'll figure it out.

btw.

YAY to turning back the clock! I could use an extra hour in the day.
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