Misuse of certain warnings
So, I was going through one of my recommendation sites for good slash when I ran across one that had the warning '(consensual)bdsm'. Oh GOD did this piss me off!
First off, I understand that BDSM isn't everyone's forte and a lot of people don't understand it. I can live with that. But I HATE when people assume that BDSM is synonymous with 'abuse' and have to specify that a particular story has 'consensual' BDSM.
BDSM is NOTHING like abuse! Just the term itself means that it's consensual! If it wasn't, it's not BDSM: It's rape. I hate that people won't just lean out of their comfort zones for a bit and look it up to see what it's about. I have no problem when someone's not into the scene if they've looked it up and done research and know exactly what BDSM entails. As I've said, it's not everyone's cup of tea. I loathe when people just automatically assume that it's one person who gets off on the un-consensual abuse of another. That's rape, not a kink.
Another thing: the misuse of certain BDSM related tags, such as D/s and M/s. This one doesn't annoy me as much since I just learned more about the differences between them and I've done extensive research. D/s is Dominance/submission and M/s means Master/slave. These terms mean COMPLETELY different things in the lifestyle, though the difference between a submissive and a slave is almost like walking a tightrope. A submissive can listen to an order and has the option to say 'no'. There are aspects of the submissive's life that they are independent in, even if those are few and far between. A slave, on the other hand, has given up their independence and no longer has the option to say 'no'. Their whole purpose is obedience to their Owner's orders. Oh, they technically can say 'no', but it's an instant deal-breaker of the contract they have with their Master.
As I said, this one is more of a slight annoyance since a lot people don't put that much effort into researching; they just want a sensational story. And, since a good chunk of readers also don't know the difference, they get away with it.
Now, the misuse that gets on my nerves more is when the story has institutionalized slavery and someone gives it the warning M/s. Two COMPLETELY different types of slavery. The first is completely non-consensual of the slave, the second is a contract between two sober, understanding adults. Now, based on my previous paragraph, I can admit that institutionalized does fit the M/s label somewhat. If people would put 'institutionalized' in front of their M/s label, I'd have less of a problem.
Now that I've gotten that off of my chest, I feel just a tad better. I now these issues won't just go away, but I hope that people will see the light and begin to use warnings that actually fit the story.
First off, I understand that BDSM isn't everyone's forte and a lot of people don't understand it. I can live with that. But I HATE when people assume that BDSM is synonymous with 'abuse' and have to specify that a particular story has 'consensual' BDSM.
BDSM is NOTHING like abuse! Just the term itself means that it's consensual! If it wasn't, it's not BDSM: It's rape. I hate that people won't just lean out of their comfort zones for a bit and look it up to see what it's about. I have no problem when someone's not into the scene if they've looked it up and done research and know exactly what BDSM entails. As I've said, it's not everyone's cup of tea. I loathe when people just automatically assume that it's one person who gets off on the un-consensual abuse of another. That's rape, not a kink.
Another thing: the misuse of certain BDSM related tags, such as D/s and M/s. This one doesn't annoy me as much since I just learned more about the differences between them and I've done extensive research. D/s is Dominance/submission and M/s means Master/slave. These terms mean COMPLETELY different things in the lifestyle, though the difference between a submissive and a slave is almost like walking a tightrope. A submissive can listen to an order and has the option to say 'no'. There are aspects of the submissive's life that they are independent in, even if those are few and far between. A slave, on the other hand, has given up their independence and no longer has the option to say 'no'. Their whole purpose is obedience to their Owner's orders. Oh, they technically can say 'no', but it's an instant deal-breaker of the contract they have with their Master.
As I said, this one is more of a slight annoyance since a lot people don't put that much effort into researching; they just want a sensational story. And, since a good chunk of readers also don't know the difference, they get away with it.
Now, the misuse that gets on my nerves more is when the story has institutionalized slavery and someone gives it the warning M/s. Two COMPLETELY different types of slavery. The first is completely non-consensual of the slave, the second is a contract between two sober, understanding adults. Now, based on my previous paragraph, I can admit that institutionalized does fit the M/s label somewhat. If people would put 'institutionalized' in front of their M/s label, I'd have less of a problem.
Now that I've gotten that off of my chest, I feel just a tad better. I now these issues won't just go away, but I hope that people will see the light and begin to use warnings that actually fit the story.